Can someone grade my SAT essay?

<p>"Sometimes it is necessary to challenge what people in authority claim to be true. Although some respect for authority is, no doubt, necessary in order for any group or organization to function, questioning the people in charge-even if they are experts or leaders in their fields-makes us better thinkers. It forces all concerned to defend old ideas and decisions and to consider new ones. Sometimes it can even correct old errors in thought and put an end to wrong actions."</p>

<p>Assignment: Is it important to question the ideas and decisions of people in positions of authority? Plan and write an essay in which you develop your point of view on this issue. Support your position with reasoning and examples taken from your reading, studies, experience, or observations.</p>

<p>(Before you read the essay, please try to remain as objective as possible and keep your political views to yourself!</p>

<p>Here's my Essay: </p>

<p>I believe that we should always question authority such as our bosses, our political leaders, our parents, our Principals and of course our government. Our government would not exist without questioning it's authority. Let me elaborate on that with this question: " How else would our founding fathers founded this country and its ideas?" By Questioning, the tyrannical government of Great Britain, we have the rights, the freedom, and a nation name that we utter from our mouths: "America."</p>

<p>In the First Place, Let us delve deeper into this. "Why should we question authority?"
First off, authority puts someone in power; in control where they attempt to either rule with an iron fist us making us cower like Courage The Cowardly Dog in their wake. Or in a lighter aspect, a benevolent leader who simply tells us what we should and shouldn't do. We should be allowed to question our government whether for their motives, their solutions, or simply just to ask "Why?" For example, if our government were to enact legislation banning writing essays, "Wouldn't you question that?" Even though if they were to pass legislation like that; My peers and myself writing this essay amongst the sweat and tears that cover my paper like I've ran into a rainstorm, It'd bring a sigh of relief. But anyway, we have the right to question authority if they have violated our rights or have done something we directly oppose.</p>

<p>In Conclusion, we wouldn't even be here today without questioning our gov't. The men who founded this nation where people can live free and question their government; The British back then at the time. We wouldn't be able to enjoy the rights we have and have no say in our government's operations. That's not what our founding fathers wanted for us. Not only does it cause us to think about the state of the authority that looms over us like a guardian, it betters our society one more question at a time.</p>

<p>Couple things: some glaring grammatical mistakes (using “they” instead of “he”, etc.)
Be careful about talking about the government, you never to know who is reading it.<br>
I don’t like “I believe”- it is redundant. You are writing what you believe.<br>
Be careful when using “I”, it could either enhance your essay or make it worse (I am afraid it was the latter in this piece). You go into a strange poetic tone in the middle of the essay- wasn’t to fond. </p>

<p>Honestly, I would give that a 7-8 (providing that that would fill both pages fully). Plus, only one example, try atleast two.</p>

<p>cheers</p>

<p>Thanks! Hopefully being in AP English this year will improve my grammar, haha. Better Essay than the SAT i took before, I didn’t like the topic at all. This one was slightly better.
And it was both filled. Maybe try to learn a few good vocab words as well.</p>