Can someone help edit my short extracurricular essay?

College Essays
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<p>It's the one on the common app with a 150 word limit.</p>

<p>Initially, I wasn't sure what exactly to write about, but I figured I'd just write about my topic anyway. I would greatly appreciate it if someone would spend some time editing it and giving suggestions about what to improve on. Thanks!</p>

2

<p>I can help if you want. I'm already in college (class of 2010) and am a writing tutor at my university</p>

3

<p>email me if you want :D : <a href="mailto:narcissa09@gmail.com">narcissa09@gmail.com</a></p>

4

<p>Yay! Thanks, guys :]</p>

5

<p>PM it to me and i'll give quick feedback.</p>

6

<p>i'll read it... pm?</p>

7

<p>i'll read it! pm or email me at <a href="mailto:angelmonicaw@yahoo.com">angelmonicaw@yahoo.com</a></p>

8

<p>I'll read it. PM me, if you still need someone.</p>

9

<p>PM it to me and i'll give quick feedback.</p>

10

<p>I'll help you. PM it to me</p>

11

<p>Il give it a go</p>

12

<p>I'll read
pm me =)</p>

13

<p>I'm new but I will read it if you want
PM me =)</p>

14

<p>i hope it helped..... =)</p>