can someone help me shorten my essay please?

College Essays
1

<p>this is my first rough draft for the UC prompt 1 essay. its 653 words long and i need it shorter than that so i can write more in my other essay. i dont think its that good, so please be brutal when u critique it so i can improve on it more. i thinks what i wrote is too typical when it comes to minorities so i want to know what u guys think about that too. please, no 2010ers.<br>
ill pm it to u, just write down PM or something in the comments so i can send it to you. thanks!</p>

2

<p>any takers?</p>

3

<p>I’m a '14er, but I’d be willing to help. It’s ok if you don’t want me to, but if you do I’m here</p>

4

<p>sent. anyone else? i really need brutal critiquing, so if ur good at that, this is where you can do most of ur damage lol</p>

5

<p>PM me. i would love to help u.</p>

6

<p>anyone else feel like reading it? it can use brutal critiquing.</p>

7

<p>…</p>