can someone look at mine

[Hoopsplaya238]

<p>Could someone please look at my first paragraph(120words) to see if im on the right track...</p>

[abcdefgh88]

<p>I will. pm me.</p>

[heartonsleeve]

<p>I'll read.</p>

[aabbcc1789]

<p>I'll read PM</p>

[Andreas4631]

<p>I'll read your essay if you are looking for another opinion.</p>

[Space_Ranger_454]

<p>sure .. just PM me</p>