Can someone look at my revised essay?

Applying to College
1

<p>It's about drawing comics but someone suggested a few changes so I redid it. It doesn't have the final paragraph yet (It might by the time someone asks for a PM)</p>

2

<p>you can PM me.</p>

3

<p>you can PM me too if you'd like</p>

4

<p>i will look it over</p>

5

<p>i'll take a look and offer you whatever help i can give</p>

6

<p>I'll take a look</p>

7

<p>I can offer my help if you want.</p>

8

<p>PM me too !!!!</p>

9

<p>PM Me:):).</p>

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<p>PM me if you still need help :)</p>

11

<p>send it to me, id be glad to look it over</p>

12

<p>PM it to be, i'll be glad to have a look..</p>