<p>It's for UT texas at austin and the prompt is
Write an essay in which you tell us about someone who has made an impact on your life and explain how and why this person is important to you.
I'm more worried about grammar and punctuation, but Since i'm in the top 7% i'm not too awfully worried about the essay, but I want to make it at least acceptable!</p>
<p>Here it is!</p>
<p>We are the embodiment of hope for the success of our family. We go to school, come home, and study; the things that make a perfect daughter. Our mother works six days a week and raises three children: us, our sister, and the baby. She has decided our route to life and her hope is for us to become a doctor. We bring home academic awards and a straight A report card; however, it is never enough for her. </p>
<p>Her name is Melody and She want to be a doctor. Her mother has chosen this fate for her since she was young, and she has decided that it was for the best to become one. Her mother works hard every day only to make less than 30,000 dollars a year; so that she can support Melody to become the person she desires her to be the most. She has drilled her dream into Melodys head for so long that Melodys destiny is to become a doctor and if she doesnt: She will fail.</p>
<p>There were times where she would make the human mistake of imperfection. She would come home with an eighty nine in a class where she struggled and worked her absolute best with no help from anyone. Unfortunately as she timidly shows the piece of paper that encumbers her entirety, her mothers furrows her eyebrows in frustration.</p>
<p>What is this B? Are you stupid or something? I dont work full time for you to make Bs! she hollered. </p>
<p>She hacks the paper onto poor Melodys head through anger.
This disparaging however only made her work harder, in fear that her mother would tell her that she was a stupid girl. The tears that come down her face do not matter at all, because emotions are not important for a girl whose fate is already chosen. </p>
<p>My name is Melody and I want to become an artist. Through pictures I am able engender a world that is perfect to me. My hand twitches for the longing of pencil on paper and it sighs with satisfaction as its desire is met through the caressing strokes of graphite on white. There are no grades and no self annihilation through verbal abuse, just me. However, my mother thinks its a waste of time, and I hide my passion from her because she will give me the same belittlement as the other Melody. Whenever I am caught though, I am stung with the phrase: Art is a waste of time.</p>
<p>Because of my mother, I am able to create my own passion as an artist. I am able to differentiate myself for who I want to be from who she wants me to be. But we are one in the same, and soon I will be gone, for I have chosen to give up my artistic passion for the sake of Melodys mother. I, we, will journey on the path that our mother has set up and I will probably never feel that same happiness again.</p>
<p>the word count is 503...randominfo</p>