Can someone please grade my sat essay?

Topic: Should people who are more fortunate than others have more of a moral obligation to help those who are less fortunate?

The presupposition that people who are more fortunate than others or rich should help those who are less fortunate or destitutes is a categorical truth.Although some advocates would argue that people (especially rich) have no such ethical obligation to help the impoverished ; these romantic critics are too dogmatic in their provincial ideology. Helping others isn’t a vice,as it can lead to some betterment in their lives,even if that help is very little. Two prominent archetypes that exemplify that fortuitous people can help the less fortunates can be observed in Bethnal Hamilton and Florence Nightingale.

One paradigm that exemplifies that rich or more fortunates should help the impoverished is Bethany Hamilton.Hamilton is a star professional female surfer,one of the best in the world, who faced harsh adversities like surviving shark attack,to reach the position she is currently in.However, she has used her celebrity status to engender an organisation named"Friends of Bethany ",which raises funds for amputees and shark attack victims. She funded the organisation because she found it ethical to lend her helping hand to others who can’t pay for medical treatment for shark attacks and other misfortunates.

Yet another paragon that exemplifies that rich or more fortunates should help misfortunates is Florence Nightingale. Although born in royal,high class British family, Nightingale refused to marry a rich suitor and live luxuriously.Instead,she decided to help the wounded soldiers during the Crimean War in 1850.She sacrificed her rich family, only to take care of the wounded.She earned her nickname,“Lady With The Lamp” because of her ability of staying awake long after everyone had gone to sleep.After the war,it was revealed that she saved many lives that could not have been saved otherwise. Nightingale used her emerging celebrity status to train other nurses, who would also save many lives later.So,Nightingale is a paramount example of a person, who selflessly devoted herself in taking care of the wounded soldiers or better to say,less fortunate people as the lives of the soldiers on the warfront has seldom any value rather than serving the nation.

In summation,the notion that it is non ethical of the more fortunates to help the less or misfortunates is an erroneous fact.It is only by helping people in need that both the helping person and the helped person can receive true happiness and live in an organised and harmonic manner.