Can someone read over a couple of my short essays?

College Essays
1

<p>Hi guys,</p>

<p>From London applying to various colleges for fall 08 start so am pretty new to this. As above really can someone cast an eye over my two essay attempts so far and make any suggestions?</p>

<p>Thanks,</p>

<p>Julian</p>

2

<p>Hey, I'll try to help you out. Just send a PM.</p>

3

<p>Sure, I'll help you out.</p>

4

<p>Sure, I will help!</p>

5

<p>Sure, email to <a href="mailto:RayAllen333@gmail.com">RayAllen333@gmail.com</a> with College Confidential as subject.</p>