Can’t afford to send our twins to college

Our twins graduated from high school last month and have decided they want to go to the same University. They both got into some of the same schools and the school that gave them the most money that they want to go to is out of state. We will have to take out loans to pay the difference for school for them. But my husband doesn’t want to mortgage our future for their education. We would have to get loans whether they attend school in state or out of state. I don’t want to disappoint my daughters because they are good girls and good students and have worked hard to get into the schools they got into. They have applied for scholarships but didn’t get them. It’s so frustrating and sometimes I feel like we failed them as parents. They may have to end up going to the Community College here and then transfer to a 4 year University. Has anyone else been in this same situation? What did you do?

1 Like

Others can help you better if you describe the net price of the college they chose, the net price of the least expensive option they have if different, and what you can actually pay before parent loans.

2 Likes

Parents do what they can. The only real issue is that you didn’t have this conversation before they applied. That’s on you IMO and makes it hard for them.

Now that you have figured it out, it’s a family conversation. You, as parents have to decide how much you can help. They, as the students have to decide if they’ll take out loans (if possible) to make up the difference.
Lots of people can’t afford to help their kids with college at all. And their kids still go. Did you apply for FA? Loans? I’m not sure about your timing as it would seem like deposits and more would have been due already. First, start with your budget then let them make the decisions from there.
Are they able to go to a community college and transfer later to this college they like?

BTW, none of this has anything to do with if they are good kids or deserve their choice of college. Plenty of great kids have to opt for what they can do. Good luck.

12 Likes

If you can’t afford the schools it is what it is. You have not failed as parents. I personally couldn’t rationalize the increased cost of several OOS schools for my son.

There are plenty of students that attend community college and then transfer to a university. There’s no shame in that.

My nephew has chosen to do just that this coming year. In the end the degree will still be acquired from the university, they’ll just be a huge savings in cost.

If you do go this route, be sure to check to ensure that courses taken at the CC will fully transfer to the desired university.

3 Likes

The Net amount for one of my twins after subtracting what the school gave her in aid and a grant is $10,944 for the year. The net amount for the other twin is $14,944.

What will they be majoring in? Does their aid include fed student loans? Also, what can you contribute?

It is very common for some universities to simply be unaffordable. Many if not most families in the US go though this at some level. We insisted on “no loans” which restricted which schools our daughters could afford.

One daughter was resistant but went along with “no loans”. Then years later she graduated from university and was offered a dream job. She absolutely loved the job and it was a very good start in terms of where she wanted to go in life, but the pay was terrible – barely enough to live. She could only take the job because she had no debt. She took it, loved it, and it lead to a second job that she stuck with until going off to graduate school. She eventually did thank me for my “no loans” stand.

One daughter had a friend who was a very strong student but came from a family with so-so financials (a divorce and a small business were involved). She went to community college for two years, did really well, got a “full tuition” merit scholarship from a local public university, lived at home with her Dad, and graduated about a year ago with great grades, an employable major, and very little debt. This is a success story IMHO.

I do understand that some loans are required in some cases. I would try to minimize these as much as you reasonably can. I also understand that the wisdom of Solomon might be needed to figure out what the best choice is in any specific case.

This sort of thing is quite normal (but not easy).

10 Likes

They went ahead and started applying for schools through their college and career center before we could become part of the conversation and we did tell them that we couldn’t afford to send them to school without significant aid, grants and scholarships. We also have another son in college. We moved to Texas before the twins’ senior year from Virginia and the school they like is in Maryland. Their credits from the Community College here would probably not transfer. We told them we wanted them to apply to Texas schools to get an in state tuition rate. But the Teacher in the College and Career Center said that you have to have lived in Texas for a year at the time of enrollment and that we wouldn’t have qualified. But we moved here at the end of July last year into a Corporate Apartment. We would have qualified.

One is majoring in Early Childhood Education and the other in Psychology.

We are full pay. Some of the schools my kid was accepted to were very expensive as an out of state student (UMichigan, for example). I just did not see the “value” Some do. My kid had a choice which was a better fit and less expensive in the end. We would have paid the bill if there weren’t other options. But very begrudgingly. My kid plans to go into a field where the salary is very good. But like others, we recognize that loans can limit choices. Sometimes, they are needed though.

3 Likes

Both of those majors will probably require advanced degrees beyond a bachelor’s. That’s something else to consider.

5 Likes

Their aid includes student loans and we can only contribute a fraction of what they would need.

Assuming this is net price after subtracting only grants and scholarships (not loans or work expectations)…

Each student can take $5,500 federal direct plans with no cosigner. Part time work may be able to add a few more thousand dollars.

So the one with the lower net price is about $2-3k short, and the other one is about $6-7k short.

How much can you as the parents contribute before taking loans? Note that if they are away at college, some food and utilities they use at home will no longer be adding cost to your household budget.

1 Like

So one option is for them to apply to TX in the next possible cycle. They could work in the interim so they wouldn’t be considered as non-Freshmen and lose out on possible FA.
It always seems to kids that the school that costs the most is the shiniest. But there are lots of fits for everyone esp in early childhood and psychology. BTW, I’d limit loans based on those choices. Unless your student plans to be a psychologist, the salaries for those majors aren’t high so the budget should be planned accordingly.

4 Likes

Yes, schools list this as “aid” I think of it as LOANS. And I think if they already have some as part of their package, the extra seems unaffordable unless you can meet the 10K gap.
Have you done a rough calculation of how much each will owe if they graduate in 4 years before the extra 10K per year? What would those payments look like? What if you added another 20K to each kid?

5 Likes

This is the net price after subtracting the $5500 direct student loans as well as a scholarship from the school and in one of the twins’ case a grant. Those amounts are what is left for us to pay.

Ok, this means that the actual net prices are more like $16.5k and $20.5k.

How much can you as the parents contribute?

Maybe $1000 per kid each month.

What schools in TX would be less expensive? I can only imagine a less expensive instate option to be a commuter school with them living at home.

However we don’t know their stats.

1 Like

I haven’t researched all the Texas schools but of course the least expensive would always be a Community College.