can u please score my essay as soon as possible i really need help with the essay sec

<p>can u please score my essay i really need as much help as possible when it comes to the sat essay section
ESSAY PROMPT
Think carefully about the issue presented in the following excerpt and the assignment:</p>

<p>Too often, people--especially young people, who may not have settled on a firm identity yet--try to imitate others, because it is easier to do so than to develop their own unique individuality. They focus on trying to imitate what seems attractive or desirable in others. But imitating others is never a good idea: when we imitate others, all we do is harm our ability to develop our own individuality.
ASSIGNMENT: Is imitation of others always harmful? Plan and write an essay in which you develop your point of view on this issue. Support your position with reasoning and examples taken from your reading, studies, experience, or observations.
my essay
The pressuppostion that imitating others is a vice is a categorical falsehood. Although advocates of imitating other people is a vice might argue and claim that imitating other people makes one lose his own individuality and creativity. These romantic critics are too dogmatic in their provincial idealogy. Imitating others helps one excel in his personality and make it flawless. Two prominent archetypes that prominently exemplify that imitating others is a virtue are: the leaves of time, and America’s founding fathers when drafting the rules of the government.
A paradigm that illustrates that imitating others might be a virtue is Thomas duggen’s leaves of time. Leaves of time is a story of a young teenage that imitates other people because , he thinks that this will make him more affable and social.the story takes place in 21st century America . the young keeps on imitating other people that he eventually devolopes one of the best and eclecting personality. Imitating others gave him the creativity to make his own personality from aglamating all of the personalities of the people he used to imitate. In this story the imitation of others was a vice because it gave the young teen a sense of creativity that he devoided.
Another archetype that prominently exemplifies that imitating other people might be a virtue is the founding of independent United States of America in the late 18th century. When the founding fathers came to found the government of the united states , they imitated many other governments in numerous ways ; they studied all the governments of the world and chose the best aspects of the governments and merged them together to make one of the best and strongest governments around now, so in this case imitation was a virtue not a vice.
The notion that imitation of others is a vice is a fallacy that will often end in fallure. It is only by imitating others that we devolop a sense of individuality that will mak our society achieve hapiness and excel</p>

<p>You used the word ‘vice’ five times in your essay, I would try to tone that down a bit.</p>

<p>Also you forgot to capitalize your words after periods, and in some places (like the end) you didn’t add periods at all.
“…is a story of a young teenage that…” You forgot the ‘r’ in teenager.</p>

<p>In addition a couple sentences don’t make any sense at all for example:
“…a sense of creativity that he devoided.”
How about, “that he was devoid of”?</p>

<p>Your word choice is also a bit crazy:
“pressuppostion, dogmatic, provincial, paradigm, affable, aglamating, archetype”</p>

<p>I mean really? Do you even use these words in every day speech? The reader shouldn’t need a dictionary to understand your essay. I’m no expert here but in my honest opinion I would focus more on the syntax, sentence structure, and arguments in your essay before you go in and try to make it all “fancy”.</p>