<p>Citygirl: THAT IS A GREAT IDEA!!!! It would be great if the debit cards and credit cards' magnetic strips included the info that the bearer is under 21 and cannot buy alcohol with it. Of course, such cards could also be used for cash advances for alcohol purchases but at least that would require an "extra step" which may prevent impulsive and excessive alcohol purchases.</p>
<p>so next you will suggest that ATMs have a breather attached? You know an extra step btwn the user the money and fun.........what a fun killer.</p>
<p>That would be the next first cousin to don't drink and dial..........or don't drink and shop?</p>
<p>interested dad: << My suggestion:
Do away with freshmen dorms. House first-year students in dorms with juniors and seniors:
a) This reduces the odds of achieving "critical mass" required for "kids gone wild" nuclear reactions.
b) It provides role models for how "grown-up" college students behave and peer pressure to act like a "grown-up" college student. >>></p>
<p>It think this is a great suggestion. If the problem is that impressionable freshman living with other impressionable freshman then having them mixed with older, more serious students is a good idea. I don't know how colleges will react to this suggestions. They pride themselves on grouping freshman together.</p>
<p>While I don't disagree with your premise.......NOBODY wants to live w/ freshman.......except other freshman.</p>
<p>my daughter was in a subfree dorm
Yes I know people will say all freshman dorm are subfree
uhhmmmm
Actually it wasn't all freshmen although probably 24 out of 26 were.
This was great because as they all took the same freshman experience class ( HUm110) they studied together in the common room.
It already was not a campus with a huge alcohol scene, but D really needs quiet to study, and she hoped that in a dorm that made a statement, that students weren't going to use substances while they were in the dorm, it would have a different atmosphere, than one with students who were eager to try out new freedoms.
Luckily, even with out requesting it, she also received a single room, which added to her ability to control her study climate.</p>
<p>I think there is a need for subfree dorms, but it has to be the students choice to live there.</p>
<p><<< I'm sorry if this seems harsh, but college students (even freshmen) are legal adults, >>></p>
<p>LOL... Sorry, but I always laugh when indignant dependants pull this out while parents are still (stuck) paying for these <em>adults'</em> cars, insurance, tuition, dorm, food, books, travel expenses, Visa bills, clothes, etc, etc, etc. Of course when we complain about all of their expenses, they whine, "but I'm your CHILD." That's right, you're our <em>child</em> -- that's why we write the checks.</p>
<p>Hey 18 year olds: if you want the job title (adult), then be prepared to take on all the responsibilites, including financial. No kid is really an "adult" if he's still expecting money from mommy and daddy.</p>
<p>Parent's are only "stuck" with what they choose to be stuck to and with.</p>
<p>You're missing the point...</p>
<p>
[quote]
While I don't disagree with your premise.......NOBODY wants to live w/ freshman.......except other freshman.
[/quote]
</p>
<p>Depends on the campus culture. On a campus where freshmen live with upperclass students and value the experience, those students often enjoy reversing the roles and mentoring "their freshmen" when the time comes. It is just part of the "deal" at those schools. </p>
<p>I will grant you that trying to convert a freshmen apartheid housing system into an integrated campus could be extremely challenging. It is very difficult to change a campus culture.</p>
<p>I am an upperclassman living in a FROSH living culture and mentoring thanks for mentioning folks like me.......[non paid]</p>
<p>As to missing the point: I don't think I missed a thing. I don't believe that controlling the money is the solution to controlling the drinking.</p>
<p>i agree with you, hazmat. there are so many college students out there whose parents' money supports their drug habit - drinking and worse, and when the parents try to cut them off, the kids cut off all contact. and what parent wants that, really. so the money keeps coming. but even if it didnt, someone who wants it badly enough is going to get it.
the harder it is for kids to get alcohol, the cooler the person who does get it will be.</p>
<p><<< As to missing the point: I don't think I missed a thing. I don't believe that controlling the money is the solution to controlling the drinking. >>></p>
<p>You did miss the point. The point was not to control drinking with controlling money by parents. My point was that 18 year olds may be "legal" adults (BTW, a totally arbitrary number that has to do with the SCHOOL system), but in a "real" sense, 18 year olds are not adults. </p>
<p>(I don't have a big hang up about ANYONE having a beer or a glass of wine -- I'm of Mediterranean descent and we start drinking at home at a YOUNG age and have NO alcoholism ANYWHERE in our extended family.)</p>
<p>
[quote]
**but in a "real" sense, 18 year olds are not adults.
[/quote]
**</p>
<p>OK you win. There are plenty of 18 year olds that are adults, meaning that they are self supporting and making the decisions of adults. In many ways parents decide when their children are considered adults. You are basing the criteria on monetary funding...........some of us would use different criteria.</p>
<p>I know this girl in high school whose mother lets her rent out suites in nice hotels to party in. Gives the girl money, and then turns a blind eye. She MUST know the girl is drinking, doing drugs, stealing and buying pills, but pretends not to see it. This family has mucho money, she goes to a private school and this is how she parties. Hotel rooms with her little high school friends.</p>
<p>She IS seen as the cool one....one day this girl will take the wrong "medication" and end up in the hospital</p>
<p>When I was in college and in the Greek system, I was saddened to see how many frat boys got caught up in the party scene ("bar nites" at the houses during the school week). So many of those boys were smart in high school yet never graduated from college. Many have drinking probs today (Studies have shown that excessive drinking can cause teens to become alcoholics at a faster rate than adults doing the same behavior.) The sororities had stricter rules (Don't know if that is still true today).</p>
<p>Sorry, but I always laugh when indignant dependants pull this out while parents are still (stuck) paying for these <em>adults'</em> cars, insurance, tuition, dorm, food, books, travel expenses, Visa bills, clothes, etc, etc, etc. Of course when we complain about all of their expenses, they whine, "but I'm your CHILD." That's right, you're our <em>child</em> -- that's why we write the checks.</p>
<p>I havent heard many whine-
There have been more posters on CC who are trying to figure out how to pay for college, when their families EFC indicates not to expect any need based aid, but their families are not willing to pay, than there have been students who want to be subsidized while they live irresponsibly.</p>
<p>We pay our D EFC for her college and we are happy to do it. Of course this doesn't cover everything, her work study job covers her clothing, books and personal expenses, and now that she is no longer on board, it is apparently covering her meal expenses as well.
It is the parents responsiblity to instill responsibility in their children, and have clear expectations of what they expect to get back in return.
They have in most cases at least 18 years to do that before the kids head off to college.
While I think that parents if able should help their kids get started in their adult life, i don't beleive that enabling their drug or alcohol use is helping.</p>
<p>
[quote]
i don't beleive that enabling their drug or alcohol use is helping.
[/quote]
</p>
<p>it is only helping prolong recovery or make sure that death occurs before recovery gets a first chance.</p>
<p>I don't blame the original poster for posing this question. Those of us "who haven't been there" don't know how upsetting it is to have a child "screw up" college and his scholarships by getting caught up with excessive partying. Thankfully, I haven't "been there" either but I sympathize with those who have and understand why they seek some pro-active solutions to this problem.</p>
<p>This is a cultural problem........a predictable ill of our society.</p>
<p>What are the rules about "op sex" visits in the rooms? A friend of mine's child complains that his roommate has his girlfriend spend the night several nights a week. My friend's child feels obligated to leave the dorm room for the evening and not return until after midnight. Is this typical?</p>