<p>Administrative or institutional rules or social rules? I cannot believe that you are asking this but I guess you are very unfamiliar.</p>
<p>Each school has different rules regarding visits by nonstudents
I think my D school says that they can only stay for 10 days otherwise they start charging tuition!</p>
<p>Roommate issues should be dealt with between the roommates , getting the RA to help negotiate if needed.</p>
<p>Roommates often need help from RAs to reach a compromise, thats what they are there for</p>
<p>If he isn't able or comfortable about sleeping in his room when his roommate has a guest over, he needs to discuss it and work it out-</p>
<p>Sexiled is the term you are looking for.........restricted from room because roommate is having sex with guest.</p>
<p>"Sexiled" -- I'll have to remember to pass the term to my friend. Perfectly described.</p>
<p>I think if you are sexiled, you should get reimbursed by horny roommate</p>
<p>$25 bucks an hour for your not being able to use your PAID for room so roommate can have sex</p>
<p>Seems fair- that way you can have dinner, see a movie, buy something nice</p>
<p>And, I am sorry, but you really should only need to be kicked out for Max an hour, cause, come one people, in reality...</p>
<p>they can go coodle somewhere else</p>
<p>How funny to see this post by a woman. I mean all we guys hear is the slow hand, be caring, cuddling kinda talk. You are just getting down to business aren't 'ya?</p>
<p>Hey, how much romance is really happening in a dorm room with people on all sides, the phone ringing, a roommate who wants back in and people knocking on the door, or listening in</p>
<p>Hey, I would hazard many of these assignations are not of the long term romances</p>
<p>Yep, I think a fee for leaving the two love birds alone is well deserved</p>
<p>They are having fun, using your space, yet you are banished to the lounge, the library, or whatever, without your computer, your stereo, your books, and whatever and having to lug stuff around so you can do your studying or work, well, I would want something</p>
<p>They can fork over a few bucks, cheaper than a hotel</p>
<p>If my D was having to leave a room I am paying big bucks for so her roomie can get lucky, I think she deserves something in return.</p>
<p>IMO men are much more romantic than women- once they get past 0 to 80 in 3 minutes mindset of their late teens
Women have to be more practical
however- from what I remember of 20 year olds- it is possible to have an encore performance before you have finished applauding for the first
I don't know the temprament of the roommates- but like when people insist on making something that should be private- public-, like when I was forced to listen to a cell conversation in the library, I remind them, that they are not in a private place, and if you have a paying roommate sharing your space, it isn't your private club to take over.Doesn't this girl have a room?</p>
<p>I don't disagree with your concept of fee for service or time is money. I do disagree w/ long term romance being any part of this. Friends w/ benefits is a common issue in dorms......the regular sex partner that sexiles and romance is NO part of the equation.</p>
<p>Recovery time.........sex is a sport for college dorms. OT and all.</p>
<p><<<<hey, how="" much="" romance="" is="" really="" happening="" in="" a="" dorm="" room="" with="" people="" on="" all="" sides,="" the="" phone="" ringing,="" roommate="" who="" wants="" back="" and="" knocking="" door,="" or="" listening="">>></hey,></p>
<p>From what I understand, no one cares who is "listening in" as long as no one can "see" (altho I have heard of situations where a room mate wakes up to find his other room mate "in progress" with his "friend".)</p>
<p>The noseeum rule is over.......the nohearum rule is over. Not all roomates sexile. This usually results in a new shy conquest.......or the Frosh girls as they are known.</p>
<p>I recently read about the "friends with benefits" issue and the "casual hook ups." Frankly, I think this <em>ultra casual</em> outlook about sex is more damaging (long term) in these kids futures than the partying.</p>
<p>nobody here had stated that these are good things but rather what the current culture is.</p>
<p>
[quote]
What are the rules about "op sex" visits in the rooms? A friend of mine's child complains that his roommate has his girlfriend spend the night several nights a week. My friend's child feels obligated to leave the dorm room for the evening and not return until after midnight. Is this typical?
[/quote]
</p>
<p>No, but it does happen. As someone else already said it's something to be discussed with the roomie and then an RA if need be.</p>
<p>My daughter and I both read "Charlotte Simmons" and I asked her what parts of college life Wolfe got wrong. She couldn't answer. She goes to Cornell, by the way. So I do recommend you read it and talk about it with your young adult.</p>
<p>I wonder why the college (i.e. us parents) pays R.A.'s because I so often hear they do very little. I don't know. I went to St. Olaf, a Lutheran college in Minnesota, and drinking in the dorms was forbidden (even tho the drinking age was 21 back in the seventies). Drinking happened all the time, BUT there were efforts on the part of students to keep it in line so they didn't get caught. No huge blast-outs with people hanging out of seventh story windows, etc. At the time we students felt that the policy was kind of hypocritical, that the college should either enforce it or do away with it.</p>
<p>I have no answers, but I am truly concerned about extreme drinking/drug/sexual behavior, particularly involving Greeks, and freshmen, that occurs these days.</p>
<p>Just to remind you the age of legal drinking is still 21. Drinking is a problem in schools without Greeks and Frosh are not the only drinkers. Charlotte Simmons is a good read.....and fairly much on target.</p>
<p>
[quote]
If my D was having to leave a room I am paying big bucks for so her roomie can get lucky, I think she deserves something in return.
[/quote]
</p>
<p>This may not be what you want to hear, but what she gets is return is her roomate agreeing to be sexiled.....</p>
<p>hehehe......the old goose and gander agreement. So hard for the mommies to hear.</p>
<p>A friend of mine attended St olaf in teh 70s but only for a year because it was so cloistered- she then earned money to live in paris for a year and hitched through mexico before she transferred to the UW and got her Ba and MA.</p>
<p>I found my daughters RAs to be helpful, actually even a little alarmist at moderating behavior. I never can remember which is which HAs or RAs one is a student- usually one for about every 15 or so students, who is at least a sophomore and who has went through training. The other over sees at least one dorm if not several and is an adult who has graduated college and is a resource not a policeman.
I say they can be alarmist, because my daughters resident advisor ( the employee) advised her and her friends not to attend Renn Fayre- the celebration at the end of the year, before finals, basically because it was too wild. My daughter has attended anyway- & often is a volunteer to help regulate the party for everyone, but she has told me it isn't quite the baccanalia that he feared and I believe her. I will get to see for myself I guess this year, becuase she says as a senior I can be her guest. :0
so should be a time</p>
<p>hazmat: we're not idiot "mommies" -- we lived the college life before you did.</p>