Can you be rejected from college because of a violence issue?

College Search & Selection
1

<p>My SAT score is 2050 and my GPA is 3.4 unweighted and 4.1 weighted. I applied to
American
Northeastern
Lafayette
NYU
Rutgers
RPI
Penn State
Wake Forest</p>

<p>I'm not going to sugar coat it, because I really do regret what I did. I never thought I'd actually physically hurt someone, because I've never done so before, but I did. In my sophomore year of high school, I went out with a girl for 9 months. Everything was great until month 7, when I started become irrationally jealous. I would be mad at her for interacting with a guy in any way at all and not talk to her. Then she would apologize even though it was my fault, and we'd get back together. This breakup/makeup thing happened once per week. Month 8, I started physically abusing her. I pushed her away and kicked her when she would try to make up, even though it was all my fault. All of this happened at school. Finally, Month 9, a teacher caught me, and we were sent to the main office. I was suspended for three days, and after talking to a guidance counselor and a psychologist, I was able to go back to school. They didn't treat me like a monster, even though what I did made me one, and they had sympathy for me, even though my girlfriend was the one who needed it. I was told when I got back that it wouldn't be on my permanent record, so I would be safe. My girlfriend and I broke up after that. Two years later, senior year, using the Common App, I was asked if I ever committed a misdemeanor. After losing sleep about it for two days, I finally decided to do the right thing and put yes, and explain everything. I thought that if I was honest and that I showed them I learned from my mistake, colleges would see that I learned a life lesson. That was four months ago, in November. Looking back at it now, I realize that my essay didn't show that I truly regretted what I did and that I learned a valuable life lesson from it. So far, the only college I was accepted to was Rutgers. Rutgers doesn't use the Common App, and it doesn't ask for any misdemeanors. I was rejected from American, Lafayette, and RPI. I was deferred from Northeastern. All of these schools use Comon App. I'm waiting for Penn State and Wake Forest. Wake Forest uses Common App. Penn State doesn't, but it turns out my 9th, 10th, and 11th grade transcripts weren't sent until March 24th because something went wrong and it seems as if they never got the transcripts my guidance counselor sent out in December. My chances of getting into any other school besides Rutgers, is bleak, and Rutgers is my safety school. I don't want to go there, because I want to start fresh with my life and if I stay in New Jersey, I can't. I'm not really asking for help, but what I really just want to know is that, even if what I did was a one-time thing and you know the story and that I didn't clearly show that I learned anything, would this be a reason to reject me?</p>

2

<p>I also have extracurricular activities. I played two sports for 4 years, and I have a lot of volunteering experience, including one time when I went to a third-world country to volunteer to teach kids in poverty for two weeks at a summer camp.</p>

3

<p>To be honest… as a female that has been accepted to one of the schools that you’re still in the running for… I wouldn’t be comfortable. However, if you really feel bad and don’t make that huge mistake again then good. As for not expressing yourself enough in your essays there isn’t much you can do about it. Decisions have been mailed and you just gotta wait and hope for the best. I believe that WFU mailed a few days ago and since you’re in New Jersey you should be getting that today or tomorrow. Good luck</p>

4

<p>I don’t know what schools do in cases like these. I would have hired a former admissions officer to guide my child’s application, if the AO thought it was even wise to apply so soon after the event. I’m sorry I cannot be more helpful. It is not because I think you don’t deserve to go to college.</p>

5

<p>You can be rejected from any college for any reason. </p>

6

<p>You can take a gap year. Go through training and volunteer at a battered women’s shelter. Show, rather than tell, that you’ve changed. Take this as an opportunity for growth, by helping others. There may be little kids there who have only met men who hurt and you could become a positive model, for instance. So that next year you can demonstrate you’ve really learned from that period in your life. (For what it’s worth, I think it’s good you’re not trying to make excuses, but if you didn’t have any tangible proof you had changed and someone to vouch for it, I understand why the admission officers may have been wary.)</p>

7

<p>Yes, a misdemeanor for violence toward women is very serious and the college would have to consider this. There are a few important points to make.</p>

<ol>
<li><p>If you were not arrested, charged and convicted then you don’t have a misdemeanor, so you answered incorrectly. You needed some guidance on how to address this in your application.</p></li>
<li><p>You sound appropriately contrite and forthcoming and that you understand what you did was very wrong. It is even honorable of you to ‘do the right thing’. But you have not yet addressed the underlying reason why you acted this way. People who act this way tend to repeat themselves–it is emotional, not logical and almost never a one time thing. So you really need some type of therapy or program to address this for your future and so that others can feel safe around you. This is missing from your explanation --some action step, even though this was 2 years ago, it would be considered by the colleges. I sincerely hope you seek it out.</p></li>
<li><p>Rutgers is a big school. You can start new. That is totally in your hands.</p></li>
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