Can you critique my college essay (common app)?

<p>It's a rough draft.</p>

<p>I welcome harsh criticism. :)</p>

<p>i’ll look over it if you would like. email it to me as an attachment- <a href="mailto:missmibster@yahoo.com">missmibster@yahoo.com</a></p>

<p>hey i would love to read your essay pm me</p>