<p>My DS is a junior in high school and is very interested in UA. His current stats would qualify him for the Presidential scholarship and the Honors College, so UA is appealing to DH and I as well. We are planning a visit in March to come check out the school. </p>
<p>DS is thinking about possibly joining a fraternity for social reasons, but does not drink alcohol for religious reasons. There is no problem being around those who do drink, just not something he will do. He’s fine being at a party with a Sprite in his hand all night and then being the designated driver at the end if the night. </p>
<p>Realistically, are houses going to drop him when he tells them he doesn’t drink alcohol ever, or is it possible to still join?</p>
<p>FYI, I was in a sorority in college, and all of his aunts and uncles on my side of the family were in sororities/fraternities. There was not a ton of drinking at our University so it was a non-issue. </p>
<p>Hi - I know there is one “dry” fraternity, based on what I’ve read. I believe that is the Christian fraternity. Someone else will jump in… Good luck!</p>
<p>Thanks for your response Amy. He’s not necessarily looking for a “dry” fraternity, just wondering if he’ll be accepted into a regular fraternity if he happens to not drink. For example, his uncles are all Sigma Chi’s or Beta Theta Pi, his grandfather was a Pi Kappa Alpha. I’m not sure of the reputations of those at Alabama, but wondering if those types of frats at Bama would accept a non-drinker. </p>
<p>One of the biggest concerns which might arise is if a person who chooses not to drink will criticize those that do so. If the person is fine with others drinking alcohol in a safe and responsible manner as your son seems to be, that will be fine. Fraternities are generally very good about meeting any dietary restrictions or preferences. For example, some members don’t consume caffeine, others don’t drink hard liquor; it all works out. People might occasionally ask if he wants a drink, to which he only needs to respond “no thank you; I don’t drink.” </p>
<p>My husband did not drink his first three years of college. Somebody would hassle him some at every party, but he’d just decline politely and distract them with a joke or two. For some fraternities, it will be an issue. He should be up-front about abstaining and ask the fraternity what their position is, as well as what the practice is. Yes, there are a few that do not drink, or at least do not focus on it.</p>
<p>Among sororities, legacy status is a big deal. Among fraternities, being a legacy has negligible effect. I’ve even seen some fraternities go out of their way to drop somebody who is a legacy. Formal recruitment for fraternities is a joke. Most groups pledge all summer long through parties at the house and around the state. His senior year, he should contact fraternities via e-mail and tell them he’s interested. Sometimes that results in an invitation to some sort of gathering or at least to come by the house. Bama Bound is another opportunity to visit. Fraternities are all about personal connections - not necessarily long-standing friendships but a personal invitation from someone in the fraternity.</p>
<p>Alcohol is a large part of the Greek scene at UA. You will have to find houses where your son’s abstinence will be respected. Some of the pledge activities will no doubt involve alcohol, and there will be peer pressure to conform. </p>
<p>Thanks for everyone’s responses - it gives both DS and I a lot to think about. He is a very social and outgoing kid, very comfortable with himself and doesn’t care about whether people around him are drinking or not. It’s pretty much a fact of life many if not most of his friends in college will drink alcohol. </p>
<p>One other fraternity question bases on Southlander’s response: are there not a lot of OOS students in fraternities? We live 2000 miles away from Alabama, and other than visiting campus this spring, DS will not be back until freshman orientation / Bama Bound. </p>
<p>Sounds like DS will seek other social outlets and not plan on a fraternity. He will probably still try to pursue something once he gets there, but understand that it may not happen. </p>
<p>I don’t know about the difference in Greeks from AL and OOS. At UA, you have the “Old Row” and “New Row” fraternities. Old Row are pretty much the fraternities that have been there since the 1800s and early 1900s. You will find they will the ones that are the most difficult for OOS students to get int. Frankly, unless your son has ambition to network for business and politics and intend to stay in AL, an Old Row fraternity will probably not appeal to him. New Row fraternities consist mostly of the well known national fraternities. My son pledged a New Row fraternity and many of the actives are from OOS, FWIW.</p>
<p>Thanks NoVA Dad - that is helpful. So did your son travel to Alabama to visit the fraternities before school started, or just wait until a week or so before school?</p>
<p>Sorry for all the questions: at my university, there was an official “rush week” for both sororities and fraternities where everyone would attend the organized parties and by the end of the week, you had your bid from wherever you were pledging. I’m just trying to figure out the system at Alabama. Thanks!</p>
<p>My son decided to rush after arriving at UA in August. He was introduced to the actives by his roommates. There is a formal bid system at UA, and many of the houses do know who they are going to accept as pledges before school starts. He missed all that but still received a bid before rush closed.</p>
<p>My son, who is a Bama grad and former fraternity president, said that most fraternities have “dry” pledgeship. He needs to bring this up with each fraternity. He had friends who were in his fraternity who did not drink. I will add that my son was an OOS state. Many of his friends in his fraternity also came from OOS.</p>
<p>My son sounds like yours, social but doesn’t drink or party with Christian values. He thought about it but knew he was going to be very busy with academics so he didn’t. After being there, we had a conversation about it just this past week. He said a lot of frat. do a lot of drinking and forcing of drinking at beginning. Maybe after there first year they are not pushed. But he did tell me that he knew of two ATO and SigEp or Sigma Phi "Epsilon that respected if you wanted to be dry and only did more stupid things not harmful. He said if he had time(which he realized he doesn’t and he is OOS also) that he would join either of those. My son has friends in sorority/frat. and GDI’s and gets along with all. You don’t have to be greek, most of his friends are not. </p>
<p>To answer your question about OOS students in fraternities - yes! There are a LOT of OOS students in fraternities, but some fraternities are mostly in-state. These are the ones known as “old row,” and they are the ones who are most notorious about drinking and hazing. What I mean by a “personal connection” - it could be an old friend from home, but it could also be somebody you struck up a conversation with in the Ferg.</p>
<p>My S is considering joining a fraternity at UA as well and is “currently” a non-drinker. Not for religious or medical reasons, but just personal choice. I was in a fraternity so I am not naive about drinking however, even back then we had a percentage of non drinkers. Granted the majority (of which I was!) did drink but I don’t recall our fraternity ever thinking less of the brothers who did not indulge. Sure, there may have been some light hearted kidding at times, but we all respected their choice. I got to believe that there are still some fraternities at UA that feel the same way. If not, then are these really your “brothers” and part of a family? In my family we have a mixture of those that enjoy an occasional adult beverage and those that choose not to. It’s all good! Don’t even get me started on any fraternities in 2014 that still utilize forced drinking as part of the pledging process. That is a lawsuit and jail sentence ready to happen. You would hope that they have gotten the message by now.</p>
<p>As a current student at UA, involved in a sorority, the best “big” houses for him would be ATO and SigEp. Those are by far the nicest boys, would respect his values, and accept his non drinking. Old Row fraternities-- not so much. I have friends in both ATO and SigEp. From what I know about your son, he should absolutely look into those two for the best chance of getting in and fitting in. I’m sure there are other smaller fraternities too that would accept this, but I don’t know anything about them (like the Christian fraternity, etc.)</p>
<p>Also, as for instate/OOS… Old Row takes almost all bama/southern boys. I’m from far away too and a guy friend also from the area waited to pledge until his sophomore year. That was smart because he didn’t know anything about their various reputations, etc. Once he learned more and made connections during his freshman year, it was easier to get in his sophomore year. At the same time, another guy friend from OOS just went to as many rush parties as he could the minute he got here and pledged his freshman year and it went just as well.
Overall, I think there are much more instate boys than OOS, but at the same time there are much fewer boys involved in Greek life than there are girls (for sororities it’s half and half). Just food for thought.</p>