<p>In considering the issue of weather we should be original or imitate others,many people assume that success can be approached in a single,ossified way.However,surfing through "History", and "Technology",I am inclined to believe otherwise. mainly, I bleieve in the fact that an ordeal can be approached in a surfeit of ways.Hence,being original is the best of those ways to achieve success.</p>
<pre><code> Before going further,one point must be clarified; Why is originality the best route to success? Rosa parks originality in dealing with racism cogently answers the question in hand. During the 1900 ,most of the African Americans adopted racism as a mundane situation.Parks,however,refused to comply. she believed that she had to approach the ordeal in her own way.Thus,when the bus driver demanded her to give up her seat,she was the first to say "NO".As a result of her action,Other African Americans where galvanized into ending bus sagregation.Only by being original was she able to end Bus segregation.
Another example which espouses my point of view is the famous writer "J.D.Salnger".Salinger was one of the writers who,by using his own,unprecedented way,achieved his position as a perverse celebrity.Unlike other contemporary writers,Salinger had his own ways of establishing himself as a celebrity.He,for instance,refused to comunicate with his readers;he refused that his books written between 1951 and 1960 be published in anthologies;his books contained neither advertisment nor biographical information"moreover,at one stage of his life,he stopped puplishing the books hat the wrote.Those actions established him as one of the most perverse celebrities of his time.In other words,His originality ensured him success.
A third example which fosters my opinion is Google inc.Google inc. has suffered few pitfalls since it went to work in the late 1960s.Unlike other companies,Google solved the problem of assessing search quality by pointing the number of links referring to a certain page as an indicator of the number of people who find this page valuble.Surprisnigly,Google's search results became far more accurate than other companie's results.Hence.Google achived superirity only by using its own way.
After carefull analysis of Rosa Parks,J.D.Salinger,and Google inc.,one can see that originality is,indeed,a sure root to success.If parks,Salinger,Or Google hadn't been original,they wouldn't have achieved success
</code></pre>
<p>I’d say that if this was for the SAT I Essay prompt (and it addressed a question based on this)
this would get like a 5 or 6.</p>
<p>Reason:</p>
<p>The topic, firstly, is too cliche (the reader always wants something unusual to make life better). Secondly, there’s not a strong thesis statement in this passage. Thirdly, there’s a lot of grammatical/spelling mistakes. This passage does not address the thesis/connect to the thesis well enough. Need organization (more paragraph separation)</p>
<p>Also, on the last paragraph, place a counterargument to your thesis, but reply to the counterargument with your reason why the counterargument is incorrect.</p>
<p>(From a person who got a 11 on his first try)</p>
<p>It almost seems like you’re using fancy vocabulary and long-winded transitions to mask the lack of substance. However, I’m not one to criticize…my first attempt on the essay received a pitiful score. Oh well, I was in 7th grade. =)</p>
<p>^Why is there a lack of substance? I actually think the writer of this essay developed a very strong thesis (originality is the best way to achieve success), provided three great examples (Google, Salinger, and Rosa Parks), and the essay itself is well organized. In addition, I think the transitions themselves are actually the assets of this essay, connecting the writer’s main points in a smooth, coherent manner.</p>
<p>The only problems with this essay are grammar and spelling errors, and, in certain cases, poor diction. There is nothing wrong with using fancy vocabulary, but the writer is simply using them at the wrong places, in wrong ways. To the OP: it is most likely that English is not your first language, and if that is the case, read more and you’ll soon grasp how certain words are used. I think a lot of people here got turned off by the spacing in your essay. Usually we put a space after each punctuation mark and a tab before the start of a new paragraph to make everything easier to read. But overall, this essay really wasn’t that bad at all:) Don’t be discouraged! The essay shows that you’re a strong writer; you just need to master some of the mechanical stuff.</p>
<p>thank you all for your comments…
frensh is actually my first language…that’s why i am not too good at writing…
and i am working on boosting my WRITINGS…
i’d like to read some sample essays, if u please send me some…
p.s i got 2000 in OCT 2009
WR 700 MATH 800 CR 500…
8 essay score</p>
<p>In considering the question of whether we should cooperate or compete to gain success, most people assume that competition is the only way to achieve success. However, surfing “HISTORY” and “LITERTURE”, as well as facing life experiences, I am inclined to believe otherwise. Mainly, I believe in the fact that cooperation is much more likely to engender significant, lasting accomplishments.
Before going further, one point must be clarified; what is the true gain of cooperation? Fredrick Douglass’ movement toward abolition and fighting feminism lucidly responds to the question in hand. After women in New York formed the women’s state temperance society, which limits to women the right to hold its offices, Douglass called for equality. Women chose to compete with men rather than cooperate. Douglass, however, refused to budge. Believing in the net gain of cooperation among sexes, Douglass harshly called for peace: for a new era of male-and-female cooperation. As a result, in 1853, women was treated equally as men: women were paid equally with men for their work and had equal rights with men in the ownership and disposition of property.
Atticus Finch in " to kill a mocking bird" , too, demonstrates how cooperation is the means to any form of success . Atticus, a small town lawyer, was charged to defend Tom Robinson, a black man accused of raping a white woman. Atticus’s town citizens segregated BLACKS, so they didn’t support his position. But Atticus made up his mind to corroborate Tom. Because of his willingness to cooperate with BLACKS, Atticus was able to lunch a brilliant defense of his client.
A year ago, I was invited to join a swimming marathon. The game was divided into two parts: one was to join as a group of more than two members and the other was to participate individually; I chose the latter. Being responsible for my decisions, I had to make up all the necessary deeds alone. As a result, I lost. Most of the participants were in groups: cooperating team made up their way to the golden cup.
After careful analysis of Douglass’s reform movement, Atticus unconventional support, and my personal anecdote, one can see that cooperation is, indeed, the key to earn success.</p>
<p>Hmm.
This one is a little more onto a 6-7 (more leaning on 6)</p>
<p>Reasons:
Don’t jump around on your topic. Stick to one topic and make it strong. For example, if the prompt is like:</p>
<p>Is a hero created by accidents?</p>
<p>Talk about a specific event in your life or some story (not a common story like “Catcher in the Rye”), and describe. Use SAT words properly to describe things, make the reader imagine it properly.</p>
<p>If you are going to talk about political events etc., you should know A LOT, and I mean IN DEPTH amount about the subject. Makes it much better to work with.</p>
<p>Stick to one or two topics that you can use continuously for any essay (just to be able to bend around). This allows you to be able to write down certain things really fast again without having to think.</p>
<p>But MUCH better grammar/spelling this time around.</p>
<p>anyways thanks…
i’ll try to do my best in my next essay…
but i have some problems with choosing the examples
if you have some good examples, please send them to me.</p>
