can you please Grade my SAT essay

Test Preparation
1

<p>PROMPT:</p>

<p>“Tough challenges reveal our strengths and weaknesses.” This statement is certainly true; adversity helps us discover who we are. Hardship can often lead us to examine who we are and to question what is important in life. In fact, people who have experienced seriously adverse events frequently report that they were positively changed by their negative experience.</p>

<p>Do you think that ease does not challenge us and that we need adversity to help us discover who we are? Plan and write an essay in which you develop you point of view on this issue. Support your position with reasoning and examples you taken from you reading, studies, experience or observations</p>

<hr>

<p>We can only discover who we truly are when faced with difficult challenges. Only in the face of adversity can we se inside. This can be seen in the challenges our country has faced throughout its history. Only after overcoming these challenges have we seen who we truly are and have benefited as a nation afterwards.
One such challenge we faced as a colony were the restrictive policies of the English gov’t. The English levied heavy revenue taxes after the French and Indian war on the colonies. Colonial citizens lost immense profits and had no representation to overcome the English. However in the face of this challenge they learned they could unit through boycotts, demonstration and by writing appeals to parliament. They created the stamp act congress, ran the boston tea party, and boycotted English goods. Only when faced with a challenge did the colonials learn they could unite to achieve a greater goal.
Another instance of our country facing adversity and thus improving and re-discovering itself was after the great depression.<br>
During the depression we were faced with a lack of jobs or food, farmers had no incentive to produce, companies and banks shut down, there was massive unemployment. Despit this due to the depression FDR established several projects that are still here today and benefit us today. He built bridges, dams and industrialized areas, to get people employed. He established bank and stock regulation, and established social security. Only in the face of a large problem such as the depression, would programs such as this have been established. And so through facing adversity we once again benefited.
As can be seen in many points of our countries history we have benefited as a nation by facing adversity, and so the quote h olds true that hardships can help us examine who we are and discover what we are capable of.</p>

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<p>I could have put more stuff in but that was all the room they had given so ... ehh... and after the AP USH all i really know is history</p>

2

<p>I don't think you understood the prompt...</p>

<p>"Do you think taht ease does not challenge us and that we need adversity to help us discover who we are?"</p>

<p>Your depression paragraph doesn't really address that, and your first paragraph barely passes, imo. </p>

<p>I think general history was a poor choice for examples. Being more specific, such as writing about a particular person, would have been much more effective.</p>

<p>Out of 6, I give a 3.</p>

3

<p>true... yeah ... lol.. i probably should've reread the prompt but didn't since it was on a dif page.</p>

4

<p>As your essay currently stands, I would say a 3 or maybe a 4 out of 6 depending on the generosity of the grader. You should include one example from history/literature and one from your personal life to increase your score</p>

5

<p>Where do you write all this extras stuff though? i mean i was thinking about adding alot more stuff ( i had ~10-15 min left) but there was no more room on the essay sheet!</p>

6

<p>3 out of 6 for me. Write smaller, and watch out for minor grammatical errors - they add up after a while.</p>

7

<p>i would give it a 4/6
i based this on the collegeboard rubric..</p>

8

<p>6/12...........................</p>

9

<p>For formal writing, avoid using "we" or "i"...it weakens an argument. If you must speak on terms of a person--say "one must", "one can", "one does this" etc...</p>

<p>Also, you used the word "only" twice within the first paragraph--though repitition can sometimes be effective, it once again weakens this short piece.</p>

10

<p>this probably is a solid 3. Maybe higher if the reader is an idiot and thinks ur cool with ur apush info, lol. Like the others said, add a literary example as well, maybe even personal if u have time, but not fruity tooty personal, like meaningful personal. Like deep personal. (and dont use "like" a million times like i just did) (like just now), (darn it!)</p>

11

<p>1 out of 6 </p>

<p>this is a terrible piece </p>

<p>:) </p>

<p>j/k but seriously how do you expect college bound kids to know exactly how sat would grade your paper?</p>

12

<p>well, for starters my english teacher grades these damn essays and gave us a whole lecture on how they approach it. But it worked for me :)</p>

13

<p>3 out of 6 is far too harsh..
im a horrible writer and still recieved 8/12..</p>

<p>if u want to see my essay, i uploaded it here...
it has an incomplete conclusion, horrible examples without any notable elaboration..
<a href="http://img186.echo.cx/img186/4176/essay19zx.jpg%5B/url%5D"&gt;http://img186.echo.cx/img186/4176/essay19zx.jpg&lt;/a>
<a href="http://img186.echo.cx/img186/2399/essay27lg.jpg%5B/url%5D"&gt;http://img186.echo.cx/img186/2399/essay27lg.jpg&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p>

<p>This guy isnt a bad writer and he would have probably recieved at least 7/12 on his SAT Writing..</p>

14

<p>Yeah u guys are way too harsh, I'd say a 4 or with luck a 5. The SAT essay graders almost automatically award at least a 4 if your essay is long.<br>
Mix it up with different examples. As far as I understand, an "ideal" SAT essay has one examples from each: personal, historical/modern issues, and literature. With examples from each + effective writing, you can expect a 5 or 6. Don't make your examples all from one area. Pretty good job though.</p>

15

<p>One more essay for Grade, thanks!</p>

<p>Prompt:</p>

<p>We often hear that we ca learn much about someone or something just by casual observation. We are not required to look beneath the surface or to question how something seems. In fact, we are urged to trust our impressions, often our first impressions, of how a person or a situation seems to be. Yet appearances can be misleading. What "seems" isn't always what is.</p>

<p>Assignment:</p>

<p>Is the way something seems to be not always the same as it actually is? Plan and write an essay in which you develop your point of view on this issue. Support your position with reasoning and examples taken from your reading, studies, experiences, or observations.</p>

<p>My essay:</p>

<pre><code>Appearances are a commonly stressed aspect of society. However, the way something appears is not always the same as it actually is. This can seen in F. Scott Fitzgerald's The Great Gatsby as well as the period in American history known as the Gilded Age.

Jay Gatsby in Fitzgerald's renown book The Great Gatsby demonstrates that appearaces do not always equate with reality. On the surface, Gatsby appears an opulent enigma, throwing huge and lavish parties on the weekends, to which people from all over the area flock. People speculate wildly on his past; rumors fly around of how he is a German spy, a war hero, and various other fabrications. He even leads people on into thinking that he is an "Oxford man". However, the readers soon discover that he was actually "James Gatz" of a poor upbringing, born in an obscure town in the Midwest to modest farmers. He travels to the East and meets the love of his life, Daisy, who inspires him to work himself from rags to riches. He then builds a new identity, a "Platonic conception" of himself, Jay Gatsby. These over the top parties turn out to be merely ploys to win over the heart of Daisy. What had appeared on the surface to be a slick and mysterious man of wealth turns out to be an insecure and lonely man, proving that appearances are often misleading.

Throughout history, the nation has seen many misleading appearances. In the period coined by Mark Twain as "the Gilded Age", America seemed to be prospering and at peace, as little political conflict occured. However this was deceptive, as much corruption was bubbling under the surface. Municipal governments were often controlled by political machines, who bought the votes of people such as immigrants through promises of city centers. A new wave of immigration spurred the creation of the Ku Klux Klan, a white supremist organization seeking to limit the rights and inflow of immigrants, who they thought were stealing their jobs. The KKK later became infamous for creating mob hysteria and directing violence towards minorities. The masking of this corruption and unrest by what appeared to be political peace demonstrates that the way something seems is not always the way it is.

The Great Gatsby and the Gilded Age show how appearances do not reflect the true state of an issue. Through time, history, and experience many have learned this invaluable lesson. By applying this, we can learn to avoid premature judgements.
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