<p>Hi, can any non CMU-applicant provide me feedback on my supplement essay?</p>
<p>The topic:</p>
<p>Explains why you have chosen Carnegie Mellon and your particular major(s), department(s) or program(s). This essay should include the reasons why you've chosen the major(s), any goals or relevant work plans and any other information you would like us to know.</p>
<p>Any taker?</p>
<p>Hope you can read it then get back to me asap.
Even proofreading would be helpful.</p>
<p>Thanks in advance :) :) :)</p>