Can you please score my SAT essay and provide areas of development? #2

<p>"do changes make our lives easier not necessarily make them better?"</p>

<p>Words alone cannot describe the extent to which people often neglect the widespread notion a changes that make our lives easier will inevitably improve our standard of living. One must not, however, fall prey to the absurd attitude that is thereby acceptable and excusable. All people must acknowledge this truth. Hence, it can be said with utmost confidence that convenience will ultimately lead to improvement. Several social and historical examples support this claim.</p>

<p>We need look no further than the play "nest" in which Heather Brooke meticulously constructs an archetypal failure, Willy Townsend: he lives in a dilapidated house, his love for his wife is fading away, and his relationship with his two children is deteriorating. Willy's live was plagued with a myriad of adversities. His dogged attitude and traditional method of salesmanship has put him out of business. In analysis of Act II, Townsend decides that he will finally take responsible action and provide for his family by laying down his ego as a "traditional" salesperson and adopted a modern approach to business. Long story short, this approach was without a doubt made Willy's life easier as he was able to curtail the time to travel and employed an assistant. This example is significant because Willy's change that make his life "easier" made his life better because he was now able to spend more time with his family and have reconciliation with his wife thereby improving his standard of living.</p>

<p>Take as another example, Martin Luthar King. In 1959, King was an ordinary Blackman with a "dream". During the period of widespread racial prejudice, King marked the blue prints of American equality; he initiated thousands non-violent protest that inundated the whole of America. Like the trite maxim: "a journey of a thousand miles start with the first step", King's action lead to the enfranchisement and equality of Black an in the USA. This opened the doors for many African American individuals and allowed them to achieve their true potentials of unparalleled heights by opening the gates to opportunities unknowns to them. This change, which first allowed Black people to, finally, sit on buses and trains (convenience) eventually allowed them to pursue careers in politics, medicine and business.</p>

<p>An indisputable reality of life is that changes *will, indeed, develop our lives, family, community and nation for the better. In final analysis, change is the spark that will ignite the engines of modern development.</p>

<p>Can you give me some examples of "examples" to use in the essay? Basically, I memorized these examples and just change the story but my second example (Luthar king) is very rigid in a sense that I can only apply it to so much themes. It's limited, whereas the novel/play, I can change the story line easily. Any suggestions?</p>

<p>Thanks :D</p>

<p>Oops typo in the first paragraph :confused: *that changes that make… </p>

<p>Just ignore it :)</p>

<p>Some good examples are the Civil War and the suffragist movement! I always tied my essay around historical examples and it worked pretty well :)</p>

<p>Good detailed examples on this essay.
Take a look at my opinion on your "Do we need other people to understand ourselves?"essay. It is apparent that you have already developed your pattern, and they look very similar. So I would render the same scores.
Then again, I see GREAT potential for someone with no college reading and writing skills yet.
Good luck.</p>