<p>read short story and.. give some feedback! Thanks! Still need a lot of work i know.</p>
<p>okay:
one character needs to work at a health club
needs to be at tupelo mississpii
2 traits in the story - angry and bold
2 actions - eats a snake, plants a garden
one character must be a dentist.</p>
<p>thanks!</p>
<p>IDIOT! Hollered the fitness trainer. Another man lay lifeless on the ground next to a treadmill going at the speed of light. This was the third time it had happened in the last week! Bad luck was sweeping the town of Tupelo, Misissippi which had a population of only 1000 people.. However, these incidents had only begun when a strange man known as Brentoleon Dynamite had moved into this town and joined Gordons Fitness Center as a trainer. Brentoleon was a legend in the world. Most refered to him as the, Spawn of Satan for his excruciating workout lessons. Nobody wanted Brentoleon in their town, but no one had the courage to drive him away. In such a small town such as Tupelo, Brentoleon thought no one knew what caused this hatred, why he often complained about his life betraying him and why he never talked to anyone but his pet hamster who had died away seven years ago. But he thought wrong. </p>
<pre><code>It was a stormy night in Tupelo, and everyone knew something was wrong. Clouds had taken the shape of diabolical monsters, thunder was striking as loud the engine of a train, and rain pouring as if the sky were a waterfall. The streets of Tupelo were dead. Yet in all of this midst, a stranger wearing a drenched lab coat on his suit and gloves on his hands could be seen walking in the middle of the room. A look of calm was displayed on his face, as if nothing was going wrong in the town. He walked with confidence like he knew exactly where he was headed. People looked out their windows gaping at what they saw. They gasped when they saw where he was headed. No one had ever dared venture toward the one horrid house in the middle of nowhere. It looked as though the mysterious man was headed toward an old broken down house with paint that was peeling off of its walls, and the house seemed to be tilted. With all these appalling features, it was surprising that the owner had kept a beautiful garden filled with roses, rhododendrons, and other flowers. A foul odor filled the nose of the man. He only smiled, for he knew he had found the house of Brentoleon Dynamite.
With the entire town looking on, the mysterious man flashed a smile and calmly knocked on the door. Inside the house, you could see a garden of snakes resting on what used to be a bookshelf. The door creaked open and a tall, muscular, yet horribly disfigured man appeared. Brentoleon Dynamite.
WHAT YOU WANT? shouted Brentoleon.
I seek only what everyone else seeks. Replied the man.
WHAT IS NAME
My name is Sobch Hevan. Hello Brentoleon
Brentoleons jaw dropped. Why... hello my old friend he said, sounding fidgety.
Brentoleon, why dont you tell these people why you take your anger out on helpless people who only want to lose weight?
Brentoleon, who had one hand behind his back, was stealthly, reaching for something on the bookshelf.
I
I
want to be a good trainer, thats all. Said Brentoleon, looking away.
Seriously now, why dont you tell them about junior year in high school?
Brent had turned a brilliant red. The townspeople certainly knew something was wrong. Within a half a second, the mood of Tupelo changed.
Well
DIE
And with a swift arm movement, Brentoleon flung the snake at Sobch. The snake made its way into Sobchs mouth. Sobch fell onto the garden roses, and a gulp was heard. Brentoleon walked to Sobch as the townspeople hurriedly scurried away. He picked up the body, and carried it into his home.
To this day, no one really knows what happened to Brentoleon in his junior year of high school. As I walked down the street to the cemetery, I visit the house of Brentoleon Dynamite. I see him planting his garden, but behind those muscles and behind the dirty clothes, I can see in his eyes, a look of helplessness, and a need for hope. I get to the cemetery and visit a gravestone. I look at the grave of someone, who was brave enough to go to the house of Brentoleon. The only person that knew the truth behind him. Sobch Hevan.
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