<p>Okay, so my parents really want me to do marching band in college. </p>
<p>I know this doesnt sound like an issue, but I did marching band through all four years of high school and to say the least it was not a pleasant experience. The marching band director literally told me that if I went to take the SATs the morning of one of our competitions that I would not be allowed to compete that night and my grade would be docked a whole letter. The only reason I stayed until my senior year was because I was guaranteed a leadership position within the band and I wanted it for my college app.</p>
<p>Not only do I not want to risk having another band director like the one I had in high school, but I feel like now that I am in college I do not need to focus on extracurriculars. I want 100% of my time available to study so I can do well in college. (I have classes scheduled from midmorning to 5:00 Monday-Friday, so I would be going straight to band from class)</p>
<p>This does sound like a non-issue to me–you don’t want to do band–so don’t do it. I had a HS band director like yours and I couldn’t get out fast enough–I was amazed that anybody would put up with the abuse.
Both my sister and roommate were in marching band in college. They enjoyed it but it was a lot of work. Practices, starting school a week early for “band camp” (boot camp more like it), every Saturday football games. It was time consuming but they made friends. Not a lot of outside time (any is more like it). You really need to LOVE it to enjoy it. And it sounds like you’re ready for change.
You can make friends in a ton of new ways–clubs, sports, all sorts of groups to fit every interest (and try NEW interests!) Band can take an inordinate amount of time that could be spent trying new things and the college environment is the best time and place you’ll probably ever have to do just that. Skip band as a been there, done that and try new things unless you LOVE it and can’t imagine doing other things. But don’t spend ALL your time studying!</p>
<p>I think no matter what people tell you, you still wouldn’t want to do band so I suggest dropping band.</p>
<p>Plus, marching band in college is different than high school. You probably wouldn’t have a bad director but people make marching band their life’s work. They are extremely serious about it.
So I say don’t do it if you are having reservations.</p>
<p>“But people make marching band their life’s work.”
They do! and have a great time but they sign up for it heart and soul. That is their outlet. And it’s not like there are professional marching bands when you graduate…
Your parents sound a bit like mine were…let’s see if I get it right…you’re so good at it!..instant group of friends!..bit of prestige! Probably all true.
But there are so many new things in which to get involved these days (if you choose to do so) that band in my eyes is a true time suck (pardon the expression). I personally spent a LOT of time in study, found social groups that I loved, and spent the extra time unwinding (which I needed).</p>
<p>If you don’t want to do band, don’t do band. I would encourage you to do something other than class and study though, just for your own sanity. It’s hard to make friends when you study all of the time, and it’s nice to have another activity so you do something regularly that’s not academic.</p>
<p>Why do your parents want you to continue with marching band? If the issue is not whether or not you should do band but how to get your parents off your back about it, then perhaps if you can address their concerns in different ways, they will stop bringing it up.</p>
<p>Honestly, I think my parents just enjoyed being band parents. They never really understood my issues with the band director. They are coming out for parent’s weekend in november, during which there will be a football game. They want to see me in the band at half time. (no one in our family watches football, the only reason they went to my high school games was to see the band)</p>
<p>I wouldn’t just spend my time studying and in class. I recently have taken up archery and I have found it a great way to meet people and relax.</p>
<p>Just enjoying being band parents is hard to address, haha. It’ll probably fade with time, though.</p>
<p>Have you tried telling them about the new things you’re excited about trying in college? Or that you’re excited to watch the game and the band from the stands with them, but you don’t have the time to commit to band and still try all of the new things you want to? College is about trying new things, and you can’t be everywhere at once. I was in marching band for four years in high school and I didn’t continue with it in high school, but I still enjoyed watching the field shows. It’s a lot more fun in the stands than on the field, for me at least.</p>
<p>“They enjoy being band parents…”
College band is not HS band. No “pep” booths, no “band parent” organizations. No fund raising. It’ll be all about what YOU enjoy as work doing music. You love it or you don’t. Parents need not apply. Don’t give another thought about what the parents get out of it because it really does come down to you.</p>
<p>And I always LOVED archery! Wish I could have done more of that after high school. You’ll have fun in college if you follow your instincts–don’t let others (including loving parents) side-track you from your real interests.</p>
<p>Tell them no.
No more marching for you.
They have to detox from the cult of Band Parents.
They can still volunteer to your old hs marching band next year since they will still know parents, sometimes it takes a few years to get band entirely out of their system.</p>
<p>When they visit you in CO they will just have to enjoy the halftime show on its own merit…without you in it.</p>
<p>Thank you for your support. I think my mom is also just a bit nervous that I will not do anything, even though I told her I plan to do archery and the bowling club (counts as PE credit!). </p>
<p>My brother is still in the high school band, so they can still be band parents there. I’m just afraid my mom will tell me I have to get a job if I dont do marching band. She basically has the overall opinion that I am antisocial…</p>
<p>I’m sure she’ll calm down once school starts, and you can tell her about the things that are are doing outside of school (that’s always more reassuring than saying what you plan on doing) and about the friends that you are making. There are tons of ways to meet people, especially at the beginning of the school year, and your mom will probably relax a little once she sees that you’re settling in well.</p>
<p>Getting a job also really isn’t that big of a deal, even if they do tell you to get one. You can tell her that you want to adjust to the academics and focus on school and meeting new people, and that you’ll start looking for a job once you’ve settled in. There are usually jobs that you can find that let you do your homework during it, or that only require 5-10 hours a week, which is VERY do-able even with a demanding courseload or extracurriculars.</p>