<p>My son is attending a public university 7 hours away and has asked to take his car back to school with him after Thanksgiving. He really does not have that much experience with driving long distances. He would have to negotiate a rather large city or two on the way. When we visited colleges he was reluctant to even pitch in with the driving. I am on the fence with this one. I know that the flexibility of having a car to run various errands and get to practice (he runs cross country) would be nice, but I don't want him to become a gopher for all of his friends either. Any advice would be helpful, and thanks!</p>
<p>How many friends have cars? He might do a friend a favor on occasion, but he should not need to drive everyone who asks for a ride all the time. He can also say that he is low on gas money, busy, etc.</p>
<p>I would be much more worried about the long distance drive. Perhaps you could drive his car down, or the 2 of you could do it together, and then you could fly back? Another thing to watch out for is if peers pressure him into borrowing his car! Make sure you have the right amount of insurance coverage.</p>
<p>Is he only a freshman? We are holding out with our kids until junior year. Are there conveniences near school? Public transportation? Does he really need a car? Cars get expensive, random kids beg to borrow them, and they do run around off campus more than maybe they should. I'd try to put it off if he's only a freshman. If you can't definitely try to go out there with him.</p>
<p>Our rule with our son who does have a car at school -- if any other kids are caught driving it the car comes home and says home. (There are other restrictions and consequences we've discussed as well...)</p>
<p>My D had a car for a year until it died and was buried. I recently offered her the opportunity to have a car again. She declined, saying it would be too much hassle. The hassle is having to check on it frequently to see if the city posted a temporary no parking sign (happens frequently. if you miss, >$100 for towing...) and being frequently asked for rides to shopping, airport and whatever by friends.</p>
<p>What part of the country is his college in?</p>
<p>If he would be bringing the car to campus after Thanksgiving, that means he would be driving it in the winter -- including the long drive home for winter break. Does he have enough winter driving experience to handle this?</p>
<p>Obviously, if we're talking about Florida, forget that I mentioned this.</p>
<p>He is a freshman and not many of his friends have cars. We live in the Northeast and he attends school in Delaware. He has only driven in winter once, another consideration. UD has an excellent public transportation system which he uses daily. Taking him there and then flying home would be cost prohibitive.</p>
<p>I drove a car load of class mates on an 800 mile round trip when I was 19. The same year, I drove to Yosemite in December to go snow camping, another 800 mile trip. The kid has to learn to read a map and drive a highway sometime. An 18-year-old freshman is plenty old enough for a 7-hour drive. In fact, WashDadJr and TallSon are planning a 375 mile drive to visit grandma and grandpa the week after Christmas. I expect they'll be OK. </p>
<p>FULL DISCLOSURE: WashMom is pretty sure I'm wrong on this subject. She worries a lot more than I do...</p>
<p>EDITED: Is the issue "car on campus" or "I'm not sure the drive to campus is safe." Those are really two completely separate issues. The "car on campus" question is best answered, "it depends."</p>
<p>It worked for us and our son but his drive home (6 hours) is interstates with just one city (Harrisburg) to go around. He's a confident driver so we weren't too worried about his abilities as far as driving and since he has four breaks (Fall, Thanksgiving, Winter and Spring) it saved us alot of driving or transportation logistics. His college is in a small town with ample parking so that's not a problem either. Most of his friends this year (he's a sophmore) have cars also and since his is the older one, it's not the preferred ride for road trips. Our insurance costs didn't change either. </p>
<p>Our daughter did not have a car at college until she was a senior and needed it for student teaching. She had friends with cars and always seemed to find a ride when she needed it.</p>
<p>Ah, U of D. Lots of bad traffic situations! We lived in that area for several years and my husband grew up in Newark. That said, my husband was driving at 16 and is still alive at age 49. </p>
<p>I would put it off until Spring break if I were you. The worst of the winter will be over and he might find that he doesn't really need it by then.</p>
<p>I think that you should go with your gut feelings on this issue. There are definitely risks and downsides. I can tell you that somone I know took her brand new car to a school about 25 years ago. All of her windows were smashed in, and they were thousands of tiny little pieces throughout the car. She called her older brother who had to drive the car home. What a mess, but at least nobody was injured.</p>
<p>There was a sophomore near us who died last summer in a single-car accident coming home from college (about 200 miles away) after finals. I thought when I read the article about how exhausted she must have been and that maybe she would have been safer if she had just stayed a couple of extra days on campus. She was an outstanding girl...it's really a big loss.</p>
<p>There's reason why car insurance for this age group is so high.</p>
<p>We often worry about the safety of the campus - but our kids are far more likely to get hurt while driving.</p>
<p>Frankly, it's not the drive back that would worry me. But then again I was not the most trustworthy at that age.</p>
<p>Just say no. You'll be glad you did--blame me.</p>
<p>Agree with WashDad...it depends on the campus.</p>
<p>All 3 of mine took cars to school....but all 3 were at campuses with no parking issues, very little if any public transportation and all had experience with long distance driving. Also at one school, parking was free and at the other two it was very reasonable to the tune of $50 for the year and $150 for the year. </p>
<p>All were fanatical about no one else driving their car, so didn't have to worry about that.</p>
<p>I would worry about the winter driving if he doesn't have experience. Spring break time sounds like a good idea.</p>
<p>Around campus, some errands are just junkie. If the car is around, that's how the errand gets done; if it's not on hand, they come up with alternative solutions to the errand. For example: can your S use public transportation and carry heavy bags from bus to dorm? Thousands do.</p>
<p>Here's a different approach, if you like it: offer him a $200 budget that he manages for cabs for Essential (!) errands. At the end of the year, whatever he didn't spend, he keeps. Then if there's something truly impossible to solve, he has a way to solve it. I'm sure $200 is less than the wear-and-tear on the car. </p>
<p>I'm sure the problem comes when they see other freshman solving the same errands in less time. Getting back big purchase items from a mall is of issue. I've heard kids say the laundry detergent is the most obnoxious errand, and certainly having to hand-carrying it half a mile with a bus inbetween is slow. Maybe teach him to be more creative, such as: ask a friend for one of those rides, buy 5 laundry containers all at once, and stack them up in a far-high corner of the dorm closet until each is used. Maybe brainstorm with him which are the errands most on his mind, and solve them one-by-one, rather than feel you have toi send the car before you are willing to in your heart.</p>
<p>My S had a car freshman year but it was only 3 hours from home and all interstate (in the south,no snow) from home to school. His school is in a city that was unfamiliar to him so he did have to learn to navigate a new place. Car broke down and he had to take care of having it towed and repaired. It was not fun but definitely a learning experience. He used his car a good bit and was glad to have it there. S and 3 friends drove a 12 hour trip to the Fla. Keys for Spring Break last year. I was worried but they made it there and back in one piece. My boys have always loved to drive though.</p>
<p>My good friend in Boston has a son at U Del. She swears that for son #2 the only college requirement she is setting is that they don't have to drive through NJ to get there. She says it is the WORST drive ever.</p>
<p>Maybe consider saying "No" to bringing it back after Thanksgiving break but "Yes" to after Christmas break but only if he gets sufficient experience under his belt driving in weather and over longer distances during both break times. Ride with him on a drive into a city (or get antother responsible adult you trust to do so) a couple of times. have him take the car in a snowstorm a short distance and back...you know, get him the experience he needs to do it well. I agree w/ Washdad. He's go to do it sometime but think the sometime can be closer to home and then he can take it back. If she shows no interest in practicing then he doesn't need to take it back to school until he does.</p>
<p>My husband and I have decided not to let my son take his car back to school after Thanksgiving. We feel that the liability is just too great at this time. Perhaps we will change our mind later in the year, or next year, but now is not the time. Thanks for everyone's super advice, I really appreciate it.</p>