<p>What the poster right above me said. This thread is really pretty ludicrous, even for someone who has never talked to a girl before. Take the job, talk to a girl at CM. Same result but you end up with a job and maybe some more confidence too.</p>
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<p>After entering into this thread and reading your inquiry, I immediately said to myself “this guy seriously must not have any experience with girls if he’s thinking of turning down a huge opportunity to be around (not with, mind you, just around) a chick. This guy clearly doesn’t even know the girl that well if he doesn’t know if she’s with someone or not–assuming that it’s not one of those ‘it’s complicated’ situations.” And I can see that I was right.</p>
<p>Don’t be dumb; take the job.</p>
<p>Dude, this is a no-brainer. Take the internship.</p>
<p>Even if she went out with you, relationships have an absurdly high failure rate/turnover at that age. Don’t turn down something that’s a great step up in your academic career for something fickle and high-variance that you haven’t even guaranteed yet in the first place.</p>
<p>Trust me, you’ll meet women in college.</p>
<p>okay, i just need to clarify something for the people who say i’ll meet a girl in college. </p>
<p>I’m already in college! I’m a 4th year electrical engineering student going to grad school in the fall. </p>
<p>So i’ve been through 4 years of electrical engineering. </p>
<p>I haven’t decided which grad school yet but this CMU opportunity is around for the summer and I’ll probably go to the a different school in the fall or apply to stay with CMU.</p>
<p>“See, my problem isn’t so much the decision between work and love, but the fact that he hasn’t even taken the time to find out if she’s available for a relationship or not. If he had at least gotten ready for a relationship, then I could totally respect the decision to give up the job for the girl. But from the information that he’s given us so far it doesn’t seem like there’s been any thought put into this.”</p>
<p>But i do spend time with this girl. The impression i get is that everyone thinks that she is just some girl in the class and we say hi in the halls. I do know her and we have done stuff outside of school. I just don’t want to ask her if she has a b/f cause i don’t exactly want to find out. If i had to guess, i would say…there is a 70% she has a boyfriend. </p>
<p>Given the amount of time i have spent with her, i could have asked, i just don’t want to know the answer.</p>
<p>^ Then there’s a 70% chance that the better decision is to go and leave her. You should really just make sure (check on Facebook? - who knows, maybe she’s not even into guys),then talk to her about the job/internship/whatever it was and explain how you’re going to be going somewhere in the summer.</p>
<p>I honestly think that if you’re a 4th year, chances are you’re not going to the same grad school in the fall (are you?). And if you aren’t, it’s probably not worth it to give up an experience at CMU for a month or two with a girl (and on top of that, you might never see her again, and she might already have plans for the summer, and you’re not necessarily spending a lot or even most of the time with her). You should go through all of that (make a checklist if you have to)…it very well could be that she’s ready to take up a job somewhere/go on vacation (though I don’t know if she isn’t, maybe you’ve already checked).</p>
<p>Personally, I would never give up something like that for someone I fell in love with; if they were worth keeping, they would come with me (that’s a very selfish thing to say, but you’d have to be really really really really really talented + hot if you wanted me to give up something like CMU for you :P).</p>
<p>And congratulations on the internship =).</p>
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<p>Thanks, I think I have a clearer picture of the situation now. See, you might talk to her and hang out with her a lot, but if you want to ask her out then you really should before you make your decision. My major concern here is that you’ll turn down the job and continue just hanging around with her and never even find out if she’s taken or not. You might be willing to put your life on hold for the possibility of going out with her but if you don’t do anything then she’ll eventually have to move on.</p>
<p>Get the internship, meet a hottie over in Pittsburgh or wherever the hell CMU is, keep a long-distance relationship going (it’s really not that hard if you two are actually in love with each other), then re-unite and be fruitful.</p>
<p>Hell, use online dating if you really want to. It’s better than living a life alone.</p>
<p>I wouldn’t care if she was your best friend and you were madly in love, take the job. If you CAN’T BEAR to part with her, tell her how you feel before you go. If it’s meant to be, she’ll still be there when you get back.</p>
<p>Even if you guys were together, I wouldn’t advise you to pass up this opportunity. Unless maybe you had a relationship going for a long time and were planning on marrying or something. I understand that this may be the only girl that gives you the time of day, but there’s a big difference between talking and going out. You have to realize that there’s plenty of other girls out there, no matter where you go. This girl is nothing special (I know you think otherwise, but really, she’s not).</p>
<p>If there’s a good chance you won’t be in grad school with this girl, and therefore have little chance of a relationship following this summer, go with the internship. Work hard, f*** hard, and by the start of grad school you can be ready for grad school broads.</p>
<p>"Work hard, f*** hard, and by the start of grad school you can be ready for grad school broads. "</p>
<p>work hard at what? i already work hard.</p>
<p>“You’ll meet hotter girls at Carnegie Melon.”</p>
<p>I’m not sure about that. My current school isn’t a tech school like CMU. I would think that it would be even harder to meet girls at CMU. I’m already not doing so well in a nontech school so my chances of getting girls at CMU do not look good. Also, i posted this in the engineering section and a CMU grad confirmed that the pickings are slim at CMU. That being said, i’d be on internship so there will not be much homework (i hope!)</p>
<p>“If she is the only female friend you have — hell, work on making more female friends!!” "</p>
<p>How do i do that??? </p>
<p>And keep them separate from your dating pool, please"</p>
<p>Ya, this is an interesting point here. I’ve heard about the ladder theorem and the “friend zone”. I don’t really understand though. If i’m her friend that is good because I’m close to her but its bad because since I’m her friend, i’ll be in the “friend zone” which means i have to be close to her but not be close to her? what?</p>
<p>If you cant last with a girl, long distance, through the THREE MONTHS in the summer…then the relationship isn’t worth it. This is three months apart…not really long. Its not like your going on Real World lol
Take the summer opportunity!</p>
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<p>I’m not sure what the ladder theorem is.</p>
<p>If you’re in the friend zone, you can’t be in a romantic relationship with her. Once you’re in the friend zone, all you are is a friend. </p>
<p>In my experience, you get in the friend zone by waiting too long to make a move (she has romantic interest but you take a long time to convey your interest so she loses her initial interest). You also get in the friend zone by being too “comforting” and not actually building attraction. Groveling at a girl’s feet and being at her whim for everything she needs does not, contrary to popular belief, make her attracted to you. Just the opposite.</p>
<p>I am a parent with two girls, a junior in college and a sophomore in high school. As far as there they are concerned there is a guy friend zone and there is a boyfriend zone. They NEVER date guy friends. They are sacred, and they last a long time. Whereas boyfriends are like buses, one leaves and another one comes right behind it.</p>
<p>It is interesting that you do not know if this girl has a boyfriend. My girls discuss their romantic interest with their guy friends, and vise versa. The fact that you don’t know if she has a boyfriend could either mean she likes you as a potential boyfriend, or you guys are just not that good of friends. You don’t really have much to lose. You should just ask her out on a date. It sounds old fashion, but my girls would only start on a relationship if a guy takes them out on a date (call, pickup, pay, drop off). They’ll split once they are in a relationship, but they won’t pay on a first date.</p>
<p>Whatever happens, you NEED to take the job. There are not that many jobs out there. You can’t give it up for a girl, unless you have another job lined up where the girl is. Most girls (normal ones) would get extremely creeped out if they found out a guy didn’t take a job because of them, a sign of potential stalker.</p>
<p>"The fact that you don’t know if she has a boyfriend could either mean she likes you as a potential boyfriend, or you guys are just not that good of friends. "</p>
<p>hmm i guess thats either promising or not good news at all</p>
<p>"It sounds old fashion, but my girls would only start on a relationship if a guy takes them out on a date (call, pickup, pay, drop off). "</p>
<p>i don’t have a car… but we’ve done stuff before (movies, dinner) and i’ve paid for it. Does that count as a date?</p>
<p>Lol obviously not. It does count for you being her lapdog though.</p>
<p>Seriously, take the job and don’t look back.</p>
<p>YOU IDIOT! Seriously, there should be an intelligence test to get a profile on college confidential. I have no idea how you got that job this summer. You are a complete idiot. You are a disgrace to humanity. You are a waste of oxygen and definitely a waste of bandwidth. Only a ■■■■■■ is as stupid as you, you flipping freak of nature.</p>
<p>^^^agree lmao</p>