<p>Alexmom- yes, I know. Teacher family here. My kids are pretty much the only ones at their schools who have non fancy phones. I support the idea of cell phones, but not the $100/month contract that most of the kids have.</p>
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<p>Wow, I know better than to jump in when a post bothers me as much as that one did . . . but I’m going to jump in anyway . . . </p>
<p>First, I’m not sure how you can know which of the kids you observed are full scholarship kids, and my guess is that you’re probably mistaken.</p>
<p>But even assuming you’re correct, what are you suggesting . . . that families are just waiting for that “full FA” letter to arrive so they can rush out and buy their kids the latest and greatest cell phone?</p>
<p>As Alexz825Mom points out, full scholarships are available for families with incomes up to $70 or 75K. But we don’t all make that much, and I guarantee you that my kid is going to have to survive without a cell phone no matter where he gets into school!</p>
<p>Thanks, Dodgersmom and Alexz824mom</p>
<p>That comment bothered me a lot too.</p>
<p>Sorry everyone, I didn’t mean to offend you. That wasn’t my intention at all. Good luck to all of you next year.</p>
<p>I don’t get it either. There’s no way we could afford the monthly plans that go along with smartphones. But maybe others don’t have the same expenses we do. Some people forego their landlines and broadband and bundle everything into an unlimited 3G modem and phone plan. I would look into that for my family but I think we spend too much time being “connected” as it is! Also, some families have a higher debt comfort level than others (which is fine). Sure, there are people with lower incomes than my family and who “have things” that we don’t, but I’m sure (positive, actually) that there are things that we have that other people wonder how we can afford. I guess it just comes down to how each family prioritizes their spending. God Bless America. We are ALL rich.</p>
<p>Alexz, come teach in NYS. There are a least a dozen teachers in our tiny local district who make over a 75,000. You’ll be closer to DA and I’d love to have you as a neighbor!</p>
<p>Putting the “judgement” aside, the reality is that families receiving full FA from BS may not be the families that are facing the most financial difficulties. With tution, room & board, books and supplies and travel covered and even with a monthly stipend, a cell phone and laundry service are really the only discretionary spending to them. If many kids in BS have smartphones, you don’t want to write on your kid’s phone “we are on FA”. After all, to help students with limited financial means have as much of a similar experience as possible as other kids is the purpose of the schools offering generous FA. Families who are not on full FA but receiving enough are in a similar situation. On the other hand, I think that families that just miss the FA cut and have to struggle to pay full, or those that have received less than EFC are likely the ones that try to save on small things like a cell phone plan. What other things can they save on?</p>
<p>Benley- you are correct- I wasn’t trying to make a judgment, although it sounded that way. And for the record, there are quite “full ride” scholarships at Choate, such as the Icahn Scholars, for very talented kids who are fully identified to the community. We are in the second category of families who try to save in small ways. We have chosen to have lesser cell phone plans, and have found ways to save a lot on books and travel. My point, as a CURRENT boarding school parent, is that many students consider smart phones and their plans, to be a necessity. My spouse and I do not, although my children might feel otherwise.</p>
<p>Neato–I would love to move to nyc, but 2 grandmothers, 87 & 96 need my services here. But when I retire, I am moving east and bringing them with me if need be–lol.</p>
<p>I didn’t mean to snap but the concerns I have about bs has nothing to do with my daughter’s ability to do well in the classroom but the social aspects. </p>
<p>Children, like many of their parents, see a URM at bs and assume that they are extremely poor and/or selected because they are an URM. My d has always made the academic cut but just happens to be an URM. </p>
<p>I am happy that I have a kid who doesn’t care if she is the most popular kid, just that she has a few close friends that understand her.</p>
<p>But if I had a nickel for every time a parent has walked up to me to say how intelligent my kid was…we could be full pay anywhere—lol.</p>
<p>We wanted bs for the academic challenge, the activities not readily available at home and the community that develops among the students.</p>
<p>We looked for cell phone use during the revisits we attended for my child. High cell phone use isn’t something I wanted to see as I think it takes away from the fabric of the community. I saw high usage at Exeter - son reported a kid checking messages during class. Cell phones were pretty nonexistent at Groton and, particularly, St. Paul’s where the administration frowns upon cell phone use on campus. </p>
<p>With a phone in the dorm room, I don’t see where a cell phone is needed except for emergency use while traveling. From what I’ve seen and heard, Skype Ichat and IM are more common means of electronic communication at BS then cell phones/texting.</p>
<p>any tips on saving on books would be appreciated–I do search the web used text sites. I’m hoping that since next year will be our 2nd year we can buy texts from older friends–I don’t care if they are highlighted!!</p>
<p>also any tips on selling as we obviously don’t know any incoming freshmen. the books are highlighted so the used book sites won’t take them. (i could say don’t highlight but it really helps my child study/learn) tried e-bay once before and sold 1 of the 10 books I listed</p>
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<p>:) 
My feelings exactly!!! :)</p>
<p>@02hockeymom</p>
<p>try ebay i have bought several textbooks from there for pennies after my textbook was lost/stolen</p>
<p>I think as some people have noted cell phone usage is very school-dependent. At Hotchkiss a student I know gets no reception whatsoever so a cell phone is useless. At Andover, my daughter uses hers all the time, even to find her friends in Commons for meals (it’s on 2 floors, several dining rooms, lovely but big!). On such a big campus, they are very useful. (And the phones I’ve seen aren’t smart phones, just not-too-expensive full keyboard phones.)</p>
<p>Benley said “I think that families that just miss the FA cut and have to struggle to pay full, or those that have received less than EFC are likely the ones that try to save on small things like a cell phone plan. What other things can they save on?”</p>
<p>As one of those families, DS has a basic cell phone and had no texting at all until 2 days ago (when we went to the 30 dollar a month unlimited texting for everyone in the family plan on verizon). He still doesn’t have a keyboard- just a really old verizon cell flip phone.</p>
<p>Neato: I don’t know about this texting by faculty for appts- I know DS receives lots of emails from teachers but he never had texting before and as far as I know it was not a problem.</p>
<p>One weird thing- off topic- whenever we talk to people at the school they seem to assume DS is on some sort of FA- we must look poor because we save money on clothing- I prefer to call our jeans and sneakers the “down to earth” look! :)</p>
<p>I just realized my post could be misconstrued to say all FA families look or are poor. Not my intention- I was merely poking fun at my own family’s tendency to dress down!<br>
Sorry if that offended anyone. :(</p>
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<p>Gee, so you decided to spend your money on tuition instead of fancy clothing . . . I’m impressed, not offended!</p>
<p>I understand that the kids (over on their side of this forum :)) are devoting much of their conversation these days to shopping lists, but aren’t we, as parents, supposed to maintain some kind of perspective? I’m sure there are families for whom boarding school is readily affordable, but from what I’ve seen here, most of us don’t enjoy that luxury. So saying that a state-of-the art smart phone - or designer clothing - or a $2500 laptop - is essential for today’s bs student really bothers me. Just getting to go to these extraordinary schools really should be enough . . . If our kids can’t figure out how to find their friends at lunch without a cell phone, I don’t know what to think.</p>
<p>“If our kids can’t figure out how to find their friends at lunch without a cell phone, I don’t know what to think.”</p>
<p>That made me laugh! Thank you dodgersmom for starting my day with a little laughter.</p>
<p>PA-C, my guess it that kids get their emails on their smartphones and I just completely misunderstood since I forgot how many kids HAVE them. That’s funny about “looking poor.” You can tell people that you weren’t poor until son started at Exeter 
or maybe 
I wonder if it will change for you if you end up with another child in a tuition school. </p>
<p>lemonade1 - I can totally see calling to find someone in Commons. It’s HUGE. Hell, my family has been known to call one another when we’re all at HOME! Before anyone thinks I live in a mansion, I don’t :). It’s just a modest two storey house, but I hate yelling up the stairs, so I might call my daughter when she’s upstairs in her room to tell her to come wash the dishes, etc. It’s like having walkie-talkies!</p>
<p>Hasn’t anyone ever called their spouse or child when they were at a department store? That’s the same thing as locating your friend at Commons. Very convenient.</p>
<p>My older children got cell phones for Christmas. It was time to add them to our plan (and the phones came free when they were added…shhhhh). I’ve been trying to teach them how to use them for the great tools that they can be. They serve as mp3 players, alarm clocks, appointment reminders, etc. And they are just basic ones. At some point, we’ll probably all go to smartphones, but not until there is some kind of reasonable unlimited plan that is also fast enough to replace our home broadband service AND we can get out of the deathly strangleholds that is a Verizon contract. That is, not until we can afford it.</p>
<p>A nice phone with at least texting funtion is worth the money especially for boarders. That is - if you priotize an active social life over as little distraction as possible. Teenagers nowadays depend on it to connect with each other. Without it one can expect to be living a much quieter life with more time to themselves, which to some students and parents is a good thing. A smartphone would allow them to check the annoucements and homework assignment and communicate with teachers /classmates /club mates through email while “on the road”. It’s not necessary but is “nice to have”. </p>
<p>To OP: if you decide to buy an iPhone, you’re better off buying it here in the States rather than in your home country. I hear that some iPhone features are disabled in some countries. Buy one here in an apple store and buy the plan from AT&T online, set up an automatic payment plan, and you are ready to go.</p>
<p>I worry when we all make assumptions, because many kids face enough scrutiny just for being in a BS without getting it from adults.</p>
<p>Yes - sending a child to BS is expensive even if the FA is good. But I fear it’s set up just another “caste” system that I thought died long ago.</p>
<p>When my daughter went to revisits my husband described other “visiting” parents as cold. No one spoke to him even when they sat in close proximity. Several looked down their noses at him. Apparently being a minority automatically meant “full fA -great unwashed- kid.” I’m sure they assumed that she also go in because of affirmative action - never mind she had a pretty impressive resume that included national debate tournaments, varsity sports, and stage and TV appearances. My daughter described the scene as “Where’s Waldo” only she and my husband were easier to pick out in the crowd even without the hat and striped shirt. Luckily, the students were a lot nicer.</p>
<p>As for "stuff "- every family has a different priority. We once told the kids “no” to cell phones until we read a story about a child who was the victim of an attempted kidnapping - he got a way and used his cell phone to snap a picture of the man and the license plate. That sold me.Adding kids to my plan cost a whopping $10. It has been an enhancement for our family life.</p>
<p>Most kids aren’t toting $2,500 laptops (although I realize that’s hyperbole) just as many kids aren’t carrying PDA’s with $100/month plans. We bought her Mac laptop for under $1,000.</p>
<p>And - one HUGE thing occurred to me. I want her to be able to occasionally send me messages that are not filtered and stored through the school’s servers (email and IM’s would be). I’m a privacy geek and it’s well known that corporations have the right to read emails sent through their network. I doubt schools do, but I do like that we have a private way to communicate. I want her to be able to contact our emergency back-up parents (friends in the state) or my parents in without searching for a phone - especially when she’s off campus.</p>
<p>Anyway - to each his/her own. But maybe we could all stop making value judgments about what other parents and their kids do or have. Because we can’t really know the whos, whats and wheres.</p>
<p>Trust me - “keeping up with the Joneses” will be the least of our worries once Fall comes around.</p>