<p>I have 2400 SAT scores, a 4.0 GPA (unweighted, of course) and a list of AP's and EC's longer than Snooki's medical history at the free clinic BUT somehow I cannot extricate my head from my rear end for long enough to read the infinite number of threads explaining the holistic admissions process at elite schools. My self esteem is for some reason inextricably reliant upon constant approval, even from perfect strangers. So, I am therefore desperate to be congratulated for my high school achievements. Are you sufficiently in awe yet? If so, then:</p>
<p>Stroke Me.. Stroke me.. STROKE STROKE ... wait.. I mean Chance me!</p>
<p>And, of course if you chance me, I will chance you back! Because it makes perfect sense that I lack the understanding, credentials (or the ability to research results threads) in order to assess my own chances for admission, but that I would be of immense assistance in determining your chances for admission. Truth be told, it is possible that I will simply place a line of uninformed drivel designed to inflate your ego only so that I can post a link back to my own thread,,,, in order to receive MORE stroking!</p>
<p>Be assured, this chancing forum is in no way often just a giant glory hole. And after I have bumped my thread for the last time, and it has finally withered to the lower pages, I will then put away the lotion, throw away my tissue, and begin my next endeavor designed to solicit praise. </p>
<p>But thank you for your help... your cab fare is on the nightstand.</p>