@muchanxieotea Your age does matter and can affect admissions–it can also affect your ability to succeed and fit in emotionally. Most students skew older not younger. I would seriously consider waiting a year. SSAT does matter quite a bit at the top schools.
@Center thank you for your comment, i will most definitely reconsider the application process. yes, the ssat does matter, and i’m currently pegged at around a 97-98 percentile, so hopefully that’ll be helpful at some point.
Given your mental health history, I would prioritize finding a nurturing environment where you will feel supported. YOu can find good teachers anywhere who can help challenge you academically. But you don’t want to risk your own emotional well being and mental health. That is WAY more important than the prestige of attending a better-known school that might have a more stressfully competitive culture. Some of these schools have cultures that could greatly exacerbate your anxiety. Please be mindful of that.
Go for it! Don’t let anyone tell you what you can or can’t do (not that anyone has). Lots of good advice to help shape your strategy, know what to expect and interpret results. If you’re all for trying to get in now…go for it! If you learn in the process that you’re not ready, or if others decide that you are not, reapply next year or the year after. Health of mind, like health of body, comes from appropriately challenging yourself, being willing to fail, learning from the experience, coming away from it a better and stronger you…and repeating the cycle over and over. If you decide your up for it…GO FOR IT!
thank you sm for that, i have been looking at many more schools since i originally posted this, and i am really really grateful for your advice !
thank you, i really hope to learn from this experience, whether i get in or not !
Look for a place with great teachers, but a warm community and lots of support so you don’t end up exacerbating your anxiety, okay? Your health and happiness are of primary importance.
@CaliMex thank you sm for the advice on my anxiety, i promise i’ll take it into serious, serious consideration as i continue throughout the process ! lately, i’ve been trying to move away from my old self, and be more positive, so i hope all will turn out right 
Anxiety is tricky. It can also be contagious if you are surrounded by highly competitive kids who are perfectionists. Pick a school where the teachers will encourage and support you to be the very best scholar and community member you are capable of being, not one where the kids are stressed out trying to outshine each other for Ivy admissions.
@CaliMex - thank you for your thoughtful insight on the topic of emotional wellness at high school selection process. My son is an anxious one too, a perfectionist with organizational / executive functioning challenges. He is an intellectually curious, kind and grounded kid. He scored well on his 1st take on SSAT (98% verbal; 72% math; 96% reading). His current school does not have a grading system but his evaluation from teachers are overall positive, with the need to help improving his time management and organizational skills. We are in the Bay Area. It’s been difficult for me to gauge the emotional happiness of the students during open house. We are scheduling shadow days for him, and these are schools on our radar:
- Athenian
- Branson
- Drew
- Lick Wilmerding
- Urban
From your experience, do you know if these schools will be too much of a pressure cooker for an anxious student? I know stress can be a good thing too, and I’ve seen my child pushed himself and work hard to try new things. He is into sailing and he said that helps to clear his mind so we specifically look into school that has a sailing club/team. How can you tell when a school is a good fit or not? Do you mind to share some of the insights on these schools above and by chance do you have any schools that you can recommend us to look into?
I appreciate information you can share!
Bay Area private schools are tricky since they tend to be pretty competitive. Having said that, Drew kids strike me as much less anxious than kids at Lick and Urban (kids at the latter might be more prone to self medicating during the school day given the school’s location).
Have you considered the Bay School?
Fit is so important. Some kids will thrive in an environment with lots of high achieving kids and others will have fear and anxiety. Overall, I think there is too much stress in the high school culture add in the additional academic rigor of BS and you could have a recipe for disaster. You should speak with your parents and others who know you well. When my kiddo and I spoke, we talked about the name vs. the better fit. The better fit was equally academic but attracted a different type of kid ( parents seemed more pleasant and balanced). Even if you can do it, it doesn’t mean you necessarily should. Many kids have top grades and SSAT scores and still decide to go to places where they know they can excel and still find time for art and music and other areas of exploration.
Sounds like Simon’s Rock in Great Barrington-early college (which is Bard affiliated) would be a good fit for you. They have additional resources for younger kids who will attend college early and works in many respects in ways similar to a BS.
Thank you @CaliMex
Yes we are considering Bay too.
Bay Area is getting more and more competitive for sure. I am not sure if son is a good fit but he sure will enjoy their technical arts program and architecture/drafting classes at Lick Wilmerding. Chances of getting in is 1 in 10 so we need to have more options.
Urban kids seem down to earth when we met them during open house, but I agree the school location can be a little bit sketchy.
Have you looked at East Bay schools like Head Royce or CPS? I have a feeling those are even more intense than some of the schools in the city?
Son is open about boarding school in California too. I am just unsure if he is a boarding school material and I know so little about them.
@mandumama Schools also differ in the amount of support they provide. UHS is intense, but their “clusters”, which are like advisory groups, are very active, whereas we know kids who have attended Lick who report rarely (if ever) meeting with their advisors. There are drugs and alcohol at all the Bay Area schools, but in most cases, it is a weekend thing. There was only one school where my kid claimed to see kids who were high in class. (Maybe they were just sleepy or feeling goofy that day?)
If you like the shops at Lick, you might want to check out Nueva, too. One of the smaller, lesser known public high schools has a very robust technical/vocational arts program, too. Their valedictorian last year ended up at Princeton, I believe…
@mandumama From what I can tell your son sounds a lot like my son in which case I think Stevenson in Pebble Beach is well worth him considering as a boarding student. Rigorous but not a pressure cooker with an excellent learning resource center and a beautiful campus. My son is so incredibly happy there. We applied to many Bay area schools including most of the ones mentioned above and besides Stevenson we found ourselves liking Woodside, Bay and Athenian.
If I am not mistaken, Stevenson overlooks Pebble Beach golf course :D/ …a friend’s son and another friend’s grandson has attended Stevenson and both are very positive about the school. I have only visited in the summer - they have summer programs there.