Me and my best friend have been talking about going to the same college since we were 6 years old(we’re both 16 now) but the problem is my grades and extracurriculars are better than hers although I keep telling her to try and match mine. We both would love to get into a college in California like USC or UCLA but we’re worried that we might not get in together. Any advice?
I am in exactly the same situation 
High Five! 
Okay… no one should pick the college they want to go to at age 6, nor should they tie themselves to attending a school with someone else (okay, maybe if they are twins in some cases it is reasonable). Other than that, you (and your friend) are picking a college for a pretty dumb reason. Go to the college that has the best academics in your major, is affordable for your family, and has the campus vibe you are looking for. Stop “holding hands and picking daisies” with your childhood friend. You can still keep in touch, be friends, be in each other’s weddings, see each other on vacations, etc. But don’t put the added pressure on both your college searches to try to end up together.
We haven’t decided where we’re actually applying yet and we both are interested in similar majors. If I get accepted into an ivy for example, of course I would probably choose that over anything else but it has just been our dream since we were little, you know what I mean?
And she’s practically my sister and we’ve never lived more than 30 miles apart
I understand how hard it is to possibly separate from a friend because of college. You shouldn’t hold yourself back though and you definitely shouldn’t pressure her to try and match you. As nice as it is that you want to go to the same college and “experience” that together, you’re only hurting each other. College is a place of growth. You’ll be able to meet so many people, do different things, learn new knowledge, and work towards graduating with a major where you can a job you desire.
By trying to fit both of yourselves in a square peg when you’re clearly different shapes, you’re preventing yourselves from having that experience. You can keep in touch through Facebook, texting, and other means of social media. If you two are truly best friends, you will both be happy for each other thriving in suitable environments and maturing. Also, you two can talk about the uniqueness of your college life. Like say she goes to a school in a rural area and you go to a school in the city, you both can talk about your different day-to-day happenings and share your own experiences.
It’s more valuable that way. Even though you two seem inseparable now, your friendships may grow if you’re apart.
I get the attachment but my questions is are you and your friend going to be this attached for your whole life? You live two separate lives and college is about picking your way…
…are you planning on marrying your friend or something?
I agree with intparent. My best friend from high school went to school 1,000 miles away from where I attended college and we ended up living in different time zones, but we’re still close. We were in each other’s weddings, celebrated each other’s milestones, and provided emotional support when needed. My teens won’t be attending the same colleges as their friends (nor will hers), but it won’t matter. If people choose to remain friends and make an effort to maintain the friendship, distance isn’t an obstacle.
There are so many variables beyond grades and extra-curriculars!!
Are you planning the same major? Is it very competitive?
Sure, apply to the same school if it’s somewhere you can both see yourself going. But don’t let that be the primary reason. Each of you should apply to the schools where you can best see yourself flourishing, where you’ll receive the type of education that will prepare you for where you want to be in 10 or 20 years.
With all the technology available today, you and your best friend can certainly remain close regardless of where you end up. But if one of you ends up at a school that doesn’t provide the right education, the resentment could take a serious toll on that friendship.
First, are you instate for those California schools? Or is a CA school part of your fantasy? You will really need to boost your GPA if you are not a CA resident, and if your friend’s grades are lower than yours, it will be all that much harder for her.
Second, if you aren’t a CA resident, can you afford those very expensive schools, especially if you keep your plans to attend medical school.
One thing to consider if you really must go to college with your best friend. Go to a less competitive school that she can and will get into (what are your state schools?). Your odds of both being accepted are probably best at state schools (not the top one) and lower ranked private schools. That way, you can more easily rise toward the top of your class and spend less money. Smaller schools also help you to establish relationships with your professors for those all important letters of recommendation and perhaps better chances to get involved in research projects.
My daughters are still very close friends with their high school BFFs even though they attended different high schools and have careers in different cities. With internet, cell phones and fairly regular visits, it is possible.
I live in Minnesota