Chances?

<p>Please tell me my chances on getting into Harvard. I have a 2.5/4.0 GPA, I'm a white male caucasian from a high income family. I've spent my past three years in and out of JJC, I smoke marajuana on a daily basis, and when I run out of money I send my sister out on the street to sell her body. I have a five year old son and a two year old daughter, and I've never done any community service other than that assigned by the police.
I did, however, take 17 AP classes in the past 3 years and received 5s on all of them...
I haven't taken standardized tests because I already know I'd ace them, and I need the money to support my drug habit. I will work REALLY REALLY hard if Harvard accepts me, because it has always been mine dream to go there.
;-) (btw, this is just to lighten the air people...I have no real desire to attend Harvard, nor am I any of these things...)</p>

<p>I think you will be accepted to Harvard if you use what you just wrote as your essay. It certainly a HOOK!! :)</p>

<p>Thanks, but I'm not even applying there - Navy all the way!! and my coauthor is trying for USC full ride, but it's good to know we made you laugh...</p>

<p>By the way, here's marmadillo's real stats. No chance right?</p>

<p>ACT: 31 sophomore year, 34 junior year
SAT: currentely 1410/2090, but next results come out on Monday, hoping to improve
Drum major 9th grade, 11th grade
Yearbook editor 11th grade, 12th grade
Varsity track 10, 11, probably spring of 12
American Legion Award in 9th grade
National Junior Honor Society (9th grade)
National Honor Society (11th grade)
National Merit Semi-Finalist as of Oct. 22 (listed USNA as my first choice school)
Won national essay contests
Girls State participant</p>

<p>"Took CFA during summer seminar
BBthrow: 33'
pullups: 3
Shuttle: ? Ok i think, not fastest, not slowest
situps: 82 (tied with iron michelle in my squad)
pushups: 45
mile run: 9:56 (yes, I know this sucks :-D)</p>

<p>Retook Oct. 12
BBthrow: 34'
pullups: 2
Shuttle: ?
situps: 85
pushups: 50 (max)
mile run: 8:33</p>

<p>3.84 on non weighted GPA
class rank 34/565, very competative school (9 national merit scholars)
10 AP classes this year"</p>

<p>It's funny, but if you're a white male, then why are you a girls state participant?</p>

<p>8.33 minutes/mile isn't very impressive. Sry. And 50 pushups? Piece of cake. :)</p>

<p>Seriously though, is what you said in that first post true?</p>

<p>oh forget that last post.duh</p>

<p>Haha no (I'm assuming you mean the one about being the male with a drug problem and all....)
I'm a girl who really is trying to get into the naval academy, and just for the recond, 50 pushups is the most they will ALLOW women to do in the tests :-P
THAT post, from the USNA thread, is true, yes
and i know my mile sucks :-( to think, I'm on the track team. in my defense, i'm a jumper....</p>

<p>are you going to train to become an officer?</p>

<p>I'm trying...right now I have to overcome a medical waiver for allergies to get into USNA, but I'm doing military no matter what, gotta carry on the family tradition</p>

<p>Dude, I was totally the engineer of that work of sheer stupidity. I think if we post my lastest work of brilliance, it'd be overkill. Let's wait at least two hours.</p>

<p>Shut up and post it xixi (ooo i'm psychic)</p>

<p>For me, it's carrying on my family's burning desire to get me into a top 5 university. lol.</p>

<p>Do you feel an inordinate amount of pressure comes with that? Like, is it more hassle than it's worth, or is it kinda in line with your dreams as well? For me, I feel like my parents will back whatever I do, and it's just a plus that my top college choice happens to be a service academy....(maybe if I write enough nice posts about them, they'll take notice and let me in!)</p>

<p>Please tell me my chances of getting admitted to DeVry Technical College. I have a 4.0 GPA on an unweighted scale, I've taken twenty different AP tests in the past four years and have attended summer courses at Harvard University for the past three summers. I was Homecoming Queen at my high school, I am also National Honors Society president, French Honors Society president, Spanish Honors Society president, and German Honors Society president. I am fluent in fourteen different languages, including Czech and both ancient and modern Greek. My father was killed while fighing in Iraq, and my mother is undergoing chemotherapy for ovarian cancer. Even though the government is basically covering every aspect of my life financially, I fear that I will be unable to make the admissions cost requirement for DeVry. Please, this is my number one choice, and it's incredibly important for me to obtain admission to such a prestigious university!</p>

<p>Hey Goldfish, just a question - what did you mean by "By the way, here's marmadillo's real stats. No chance right?"</p>

<p>DITZ you were supposed to put that on the devry site, not the harvard one silly!</p>

<p>Jeez, the things we do on a saturday night instead of our AP Physics homework....</p>

<p>I feel that there’s a LOT of pressure, but the college apps. process is like a rite of passage for most people. Some achieve the goals and some don’t. It is a lot of hassle and sometimes I think it’s pointless, but the world’s a competitive one and I have to keep up. :) My parents are going to back whatever I do as well, but I know they'll be disappointed for the rest of their lives if I don't make it to an Ivy or any of the other top universities.</p>

<p>Actually I didn't mean that marmadillo. I just saw the SAT scores (well the second is kind of low) and didn't look at anything else because I was posting it. Seriously, though, I think you do have a chance, albeit an average one.</p>

<p>geez, ditz you're prez for 4 honor clubs. You should be applying to Harvard instead of Devry.</p>

<p>Dude....I'm assuming you're a guy, don't know why....that one was a joke too....
The one from ditz i mean....my best friend and I have no other way to amuse ourselves</p>