Changed Fin Aid Appeal Letter

<p>I need to submit a financial aid appeal letter. The one below is what I would so far like to submit, so if you could read it and let me know what you think that would be awesome! I posted a letter already, but I changed stuff and hopefully made it better after swimcatsmom's much appreciated advice. No double posting intended, but if this counts as that, then could you possibly delete the other one instead of this one? I just thought creating a new thread would increase the chances of people reading the changed letter since it would be the first thing you see. Anyway, any suggestions or advice would be super great! There's a bit more info on it in my other post, or if you would like more info, then please let me know! I tried to make it less wordy, but if there's a specific sentence or area you see that still needs to be cut down, then could you please point that out?</p>

<p>Dear Financial Aid Committee :</p>

<p>My name is XX, and I am writing this letter in hopes that the decision to suspend my Financial Aid will be reconsidered. Although my grades were poor this past semester, my GPA does not reflect my capability and determination to succeed and reach my academic goals. My mother had a two TIA strokes in six months. My mother is doing better now, but the stress of my mother’s medical condition as well as suddenly becoming responsible for my two younger brothers took its toll on me. Studying for a new major after transferring to XXX also proved much more difficult for me than I originally thought. I love computers, but I struggle with math and did not seek enough help when I was having trouble. In addition to this, I have always had trouble focusing and concentrating, but I am seeking help to resolve this, and I am capable of making academic progress and earning acceptable grades. When I began schooling this past Spring, I did not have a sufficient plan for managing my time and balancing my classes with my other life responsibilities. I am aware now of the mistakes I have made and am asking for one more chance to show XXX University that I can succeed academically. Please know that school is of great importance to me and I have come up with a new plan for the following semester to manage my time and school work. I believe it will be very effective for me and I will bring my GPA up to, or above, XX's acceptable academic standard policy.</p>

<p>My new academic plan is as follows:</p>

<p>I have hired a tutor and will contact my tutor immediately if I am having trouble with coursework in any of my classes.
I will contact my instructor if there is something I do not understand and communicate more with all of my instructors than I have in the past.
I will only work part time so that I can easily balance my job with my studies.
I will make more of an effort to participate in school activities as I have found (although very late)that this improves my mood and enables me to meet great study partners.
My doctor believes I am a strong candidate for ADHD, so I will be undergoing evaluation with a psychiatrist this summer and will likely have a solution for my focus problems before the beginning of fall term. I will be more than happy to provide documentation after my evaluation if it is required by the school or this committee.</p>

<p>Hospital bills, the cost of an ongoing divorce and custody battle over my brothers, my mother’s education costs, and debt leave my family unable to contribute any money to my education and leave me dependent on financial aid. My greatest hope right now is to finish my Bachelor's degree in computer science. My goal is to combine this degree with one in Criminal Justice and work for the FBI or for my family’s Private Investigation company to combat such heinous practices as human trafficking and black market medicine. I am determined to do whatever is necessary to achieve this goal which begins with a good education. That is why I am grateful to have been accepted to XXX University. The atmosphere here is wonderful, I enjoy the classes and professors, most faculty members that I have met have been very kind and helpful, and the friends I have made are terrific, so I very much want to stay and complete my degree here. Without student loans, however, I will be financially unable to continue my studies at XX. Please know that I am extremely focused on my future and my dedication to my education is paramount. Please allow me a second chance to prove that I can be a model student and achieve academic excellence.</p>

<p>Sincerely,</p>

<p>XXXX XXX XXXXX</p>

<p>Oh! I forgot to mention! There are bullet points in the middle, but they wouldn’t show up here.</p>

<p>…bump…</p>

<p>Anyone? :(</p>