I am thinking of going by a different name in college because I don’t really like my current one right now. It is an Iranian name. Well I don’t identify with said ethnicity very much. I really wish my parents had given me an American or at least Western name as it would have made fitting in so much easier. But also completely independent from my current name’s ethnic ties, I don’t really like it in and of itself either. Thing is, I’m not sure I have the guts to do it… I feel like people might think its weird and I’d have to somehow tell my parents since they would most likely take me to college where I would meet people (like roommates and such) while my parents are still around.
I guess my question is, what do you guys think about someone going by a different name if they don’t like it and have any of you done it or known someone who has done it?
(btw my name doesn’t really have any good nicknames)
I say do whatever you want. I really wouldn’t care if someone went by a name different than their birth name (and I know several who do). But I will say–don’t do it because you feel like you have to to “fit in” or be like everyone else. You really don’t have to. Everyone else is just fine calling you whatever your name is. I have lots of friends with non-Western names, and I’ve never given it a second thought. But if you really want to go by something else, then go ahead. You can ask people to call you whatever you want. It’s not that big of a deal.
I will say though that when people find out what your real name is (and they likely will at some point–you’ll still need to put your real name on exams and assignments so your professors know who you are, old friends from high school or your family might visit and call you by your real name, they might see your real name on your student ID or driver’s license or at some event, etc), they may ask you how you got your nickname or the story behind that. That’s not a reason not to do it, but just something to keep in mind. And it can sometimes be weird when different people know you by different names. I have an old friend who used mainly his middle name in high school and then started going by his first name in college. I always knew both, but I know some of his friends/classmates/teachers have gotten really confused about what his name is because they only know one or the other.
I know two Chinese girls (and this is just off the top of my head) who go by a western name at college. Both have perfectly lovely Chinese names and they both do feel some connection with Chinese culture, but for whatever reason they would rather go by a more ‘American’ name at school. Most people don’t find it odd at all.
There’s a difference between legal name and preferred name, which is why many applications will ask for both. Unless you legally change your name, you’ll need to use your birth name on all your official documents, including enrollment docs. However, you can use anything you want as your preferred name. Some people use shortened versions of their given name, such as Dan for Daniel. Some use a nickname that has meaning, such as Trey for someone who is the third in their family with a certain name. Some go by their middle name. I’ve worked with a lot of folks from Korea who pick a preferred name that has some relation to their given name, but is more easily pronounced by English speakers. It’s not at all strange to use a different name than your legal name.
College is a time many American students use to give up childhood (often diminutive) nicknames and create new adult identities for themselves - your situation of picking a new name would not be that unique.
I have a Vietnamese friend who goes by the name of “Be” since it is part of her original name. She likes it.
We had a guy who went by the name of “Cal” whose original name sounded nothing like that name.
We also had a guy, in college, who had a Russian name (came to the states in elementary school) that no one could pronounce. A girl started calling him Barney Rubble because his voice really sounded like Barney (Flintstones) and she couldn’t pronounce his name. (Yes, I thought it was demeaning and I tried pronouncing his Russian name whenever I saw him). But this guy had the best attitude and self-worth that he just blew it off and took it in stride. Great kid!
He started using the name Barney and told everyone he met, “I’m Barney”. He was very popular and a well-known student who got into a frat in sophomore year. He ran for a position in student government as “Barney Rubble” and had the slogan: “Yabadaba doo! Yes Barney will work for you!” He dressed like Barney for the campaign-walking barefoot everywhere. He, of course, won.
Don’t change your legal name. Just add a name you like and use it.
Consider changing your first name but retaining your Iranian name as your middle name, then you’ll cover all the practical issues.
There’s plenty of people who have a “foreign” name and go by a common English name. Like their name is Wang Wu but they go by Alex. It’s the same as anybody else using a nickname, their parents probably will still use their given name but their friends will use the nickname.