Child Doesn't Like Safety School, What Now?

College Search & Selection
1

<p>My daughter has been accepted at her small, private LAC dream school, but the merit aid just doesn't match up to the reality of our finances.</p>

<p>We "made" her apply to at least one state school, and she was accepted, but she has never wanted to attend this huge state flagship university. (And I agree, it is not a good "fit" for her.) She wanted to be able to walk/bike across a beautiful campus in a small (2,000 or less) population, not move to a college that is it's own "city", with its own bus system and hiking endlessly to get to class. She is not a party girl, and would be more comfortable in an honors program relating with others who want to learn for the sake of learning.</p>

<p>It is now March of her Senior Year, and I don't know if we need to "make" her apply somewhere else. We live in Georgia that offers her Free Tuition at state schools.</p>

<p>Her stats are: 31 ACT, 3.96 unweighted GPA. Dual-enrolled at college, 4.0 GPA there, will earn 22 hours college credit this year. Works 25 hrs/week, dance company 8-10 hrs/week, active in church youth leadership. Wants to major in chemistry.</p>

<p>I'm asking for help in seeing the "big picture" here. My child is stuck on her dream school, but going there would leave her drowning in debt ($40,000 after 4 years) and we don't want to allow her to make what we feel is a huge mistake.</p>

<p>She can attend the huge state school, or continue attending the smaller state school close to home where she is taking her dual-enrolled classes this year and just live at home. </p>

<p>Do I "make" her apply elsewhere? I'm thinking it has to be within our state, in the state school system. She doesn't want to be more than a couple of hours away from home.</p>

<p>This is our first child to graduate, and I thought we had a good handle on the college search. We started visiting colleges in 10th grade, so she would get a real sense of what college life is like. I am back and forth emotionally, is it time to panic? Is it too late to start the application process?</p>

<p>Any advice is appreciated.</p>

2

<p>Her best chance at financial aid (both need-based and merit-based) is applying as a freshman. If she doesn’t like any of her affordable options, offer her a gap year. She can work and earn money, she can concentrate on dancing, she can do more volunteer work. And she can re-think her college list, and apply for fall 2014. The only thing that she cannot do, is take college classes for credit.</p>

<p>To be honest, your kid has been working very hard. If she sticks with a Chem major, she’s probably going to have to work even harder, and plan on continuing through some type of grad school. A year off to rest and regroup may be the very best thing.</p>

3

<p>I’m sorry for your daughter’s disappointment. She has impressive stats - is there an Honors College at the big school, and was she accepted into it? That can make the huge state school experience feel more personalized, though not necessarily, and it won’t make the school more LAC-like.</p>

<p>I notice that she’s in a dance company. Are there good dance opportunities at the big school? That too can make a difference, if she’d like to continue dancing. She can find a group of friends quickly if she gets involved with a college dance company and is enthusiastic about the dance classes/options at school.</p>

<p>Is it possible that she could go to the big school, or even the local one, tuition-free for a year or two and then transfer to the LAC? With so many college credits already earned, might she be able to enter the LAC as a junior next year, after just one year at her safety?</p>

4

<p>And by the way, she can’t borrow 10k each year on her own. She can only borrow up to the federal loan limits. Of that potential 40k, she’d need a cosigner for about 13k of it. If no one else who is credit worthy is willing to go on the hook for that kind of money, her cute little LAC is simply not possible.</p>

<p>Her grades and test scores are very good. If she’s willing to expand her geographical limits, she will have more options. Have her take s look at the threads on merit-based aid in the Financial Aid Forum. She may find something that could work.</p>

5

<p>Chemistry does not have particularly good job and career prospects, so avoiding high debt levels is important. See the <a href=“http://talk.collegeconfidential.com/internships-careers-employment/1121619-university-graduate-career-surveys-4.html#post15518814[/url]”>http://talk.collegeconfidential.com/internships-careers-employment/1121619-university-graduate-career-surveys-4.html#post15518814&lt;/a&gt; . Chemical engineering is usually somewhat better in this respect.</p>

<p>Also, there is ACS approval of chemistry degree programs:
[ACS</a> Approved Undergraduate Programs](<a href=“American Chemical Society”>American Chemical Society)</p>

6

<p>I would go back and re-visit the state school. Some schools have dorms where the students sign " no party" agreements. Larger schools always state that you can turn a big school into a small school, but you can’t make a small school into a big school. Many times kids change their minds after revisiting- either for the positive or negative. If you revisit and it’s still not a fit then I would not make her go. Personally, I would not want my daughter to owe $40,000 after graduation so I would cross the dream school off the list. If there is a school that your daughter can still apply to which is affordable and would be a good fit, there is no harm in applying. If those options do not work then can she continue at the college that she takes classes at and transfer?</p>

7

<p>Have you considered relaxing the restriction on distance from home? Your daughter’s case reminds me of an article I read about a student in similar circumstances who ended up at the College of Charleston in South Carolina. They offered her a significant amount of merit aid and the college looks beautiful. Here’s links to the article and the college website. </p>

<p>[College</a> merit aid produces bidding wars - Washington Post](<a href=“http://articles.washingtonpost.com/2011-05-30/local/35265299_1_merit-aid-college-search-private-college-last-year]College”>http://articles.washingtonpost.com/2011-05-30/local/35265299_1_merit-aid-college-search-private-college-last-year)</p>

<p>[About</a> the College - College of Charleston](<a href=“Page not found - College of Charleston”>About the College - College of Charleston)</p>

<p>Good luck with your search!</p>

8

<p>She can take a gap year to get a job or go to the state school and transfer out after a year – or both. :p</p>

<p>I’m so sorry that you’re in this position. :(</p>

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<p>There’s still a chance, a very good chance, that she will thrive at her safety, even though she doesn’t love it now. Of course, in comparison to her first love, her safety doesn’t look very attractive…now. Give the idea some time to grow on her.</p>

10

<p>As you now realize, a safety isn’t a safety if the student doesn’t like it. For those who will be applying in future years, it’s best to have at least 2 safeties that you like and are affordable because sometimes those end up being the only feasible choices, so it’s nice to still be able to pick. </p>

<p>You can insist that she still apply to other schools. See if Birmingham Southern (a CTTL school) is still accepting apps AND awarding merit. Lovely school, easy to get around. Profs are really into their students. </p>

<p>Your problem will be finding other schools that “fit” that will also be affordable.</p>

<p>Revisit UGa. Does it have an honors program?</p>

<p>*and transfer out after a year – or both. *</p>

<p>NOT a good idea. Transfers rarely get good pkgs.</p>

11

<p>We are in similar situation, but my D did apply to more safeties. Her dream school is most likely out of financial reach. She did refuse to apply to large state school in our local area, but has been accepted at one other. (living in CA we do have so many options for ‘state’ schools). She has accepted the fact that the dream school is out of reach. She may end up doing CC for 2 years and transferring</p>

<p>D also is majoring in chemistry to be a science teacher. What is your D’s interest in chemistry?</p>

12

<p>Almost every middle class family with a smart kid faces the same choice you have.</p>

<p>It is a tough decision.</p>

<p>In our family, we opted for the more expensive school, and are now paying the price for it.</p>

<p>The truth is that if she goes to the state university, she will carve out her own niche, and will still have a good college experience.</p>

13

<p>I hate to break it to you, but you should not have let her apply to her dream school at all if you knew you could not afford it. I have friends in their 40s who still are very upset and angry at their parents by “leading them on” by encouraging them apply to “their dream schools” and the parents backed out and said finances are the reason. </p>

<p>What I suggest is that she accepts the small LAC offer, and delay admission one year. A secret is that if she gets a job at the school, she will qualify for FREE classes (for most colleges anyway). That’s even for jobs that don’t require a college diploma. Or, she could work for a year, live at home, and put that towards college. Or, she could go there part-time and work part-time.</p>

<p>There are ways to make it work, and the question for most parents is what is their REAL financial situation. Are you talking about not going on vacation for four years, or are you talking about losing your house? Are you talking about not buying new clothes for work and your other kids, or are you talking about putting off surgery?</p>

<p>It is up to her to end up with that much debt. I do agree that chemical engineering is better than chemistry to make money, having studied both. I did end up with a PhD in chemistry, but with a PhD in any field, you can teach college and benefits can be quite good (I work for a state school).</p>

<p>My spouse had $20,000 of debt after graduating college (early 90s), and his parents were poverty level so they could not help. He got a job, and paid it off eventually. But it was his decision to go to an expensive school, and now it is past history. It did matter than he went to a good school (got $60,000 worth of grants by the way), and it did matter that he went somewhere he was happy.</p>

14

<p>*What I suggest is that she accepts the small LAC offer, and delay admission one year. A secret is that if she gets a job at the school, she will qualify for FREE classes (for most colleges anyway). *</p>

<p>That doesnt’ really work. That’s expecting her to move to the area, get a “real job” at the univ (with only a high school diploma), and then, what? Go to school very part-time at night while she works full time??? I don’t think this student intends to be a “night class” student at this school.</p>

<p>There’s nothing wrong with letting a student apply to an unaffordable school as long as everyone is clear on what’s expected…such as XX in merit, or YY in grants. And everyone understands that if the money doesn’t appear, the school is off the list.</p>

<p>I do think parents are wrong if they just have a “apply broadly and then we’ll look at offers” approach if they have limited finances. That can cause some major upsets that last forever.</p>

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<p>I think the gap year with her working to make some money to apply towards her dream school might be a good idea.</p>

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<p>Actually, shouldn’t it be ok to let the student apply to a financial reach as long as it is clear to the student that s/he needs to get enough financial aid and scholarships to meet the parental price limit, not merely admission (i.e. if the student knows that admission without enough financial aid and scholarships = rejection)? However, it is pointless to apply to completely out-of-reach schools with no chance of being affordable on either need-based or merit aid.</p>

<p>Obviously, the parents and student need to discuss the price limit and check net price calculators and scholarship possibilities before the application list is made. Of course, the safety school must be one that the student likes, is for sure affordable, and for sure to admit the student.</p>

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<p>mom2collegekids, I did it at a major NY state university. I got a job as a lab tech, needing no experience just a science background, and took classes for free. Once I got into the full-time program, I qualified for an internship that paid tuition and a stipend.</p>

<p>I’m not saying it is a done deal, but it really depends on how much her daughter wants to go to the school. But is it the parent’s finances, or the worry about student loans? Is it that they are worried about the daughter’s loans, which should be none of their business if she wants to take that risk, or do they think they will be responsible if she doesn’t or doesn’t feel like paying?</p>

<p>I’m not sure if it is the parent’s finances that are the issue, more the “sky is falling” mentality that parents should be frightened of ruining their child’s life if there will be student loans.</p>

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<p>$40,000 in undergraduate debt is somewhat risky for a graduate in a relatively low paid major like chemistry.</p>

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<p>rhandco, might be possible at a large university. A small LAC is a different story, there are a LOT fewer jobs to be had.</p>

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<p>Did you appeal for more financial aid from Dream School? Often (but not always) just asking will net more money. Several of the student tour guides at the private schools we toured stated that they were able to get an increase in their package.</p>