<p>OK, as the person who first posted about this incident, as an explanation of why access to Facebook has been blocked, I’m starting to get a little uncomfortable with the direction this thread is taking. The incident itself is public knowledge, as it has been reported by the local media.</p>
<p>However, as another parent has already pointed out, none of us participating in this thread really know the full story. I’m not sure if we’ve even had anyone who is an actual student post yet, but even if we have, they also don’t know the full story. </p>
<p>That being the case, I for one think there is fine line between wanting to provide infomation that is useful to other members of the forum and engaging in speculation or the repitition of unsubstantiated rumors. And when I say this, I am honestly referring as much to my own posts as to anyone elses. At this point I think the only thing we really know is that there was an incident relating to private comments on Facebook about other students by approximately a half-dozen girls, that some of those comments were disseminated to other Choate students, and the school has disciplined the girls involved, suspending some of them and expelling at least one.</p>
<p>Without knowing the full story, including the exact contents of these comments, whether any student felt bullied or humiliated, or whether there was anything above and beyond these comments that could be characterized as bullying or otherwise inappropriate, I think its hard to pass judgment on whether the school acted appropriately.</p>
<p>The one point I do think needs to be made, however, is that this is atypical behavior. Based on conversations I have had with my own child, and personal observation, I would say that Choate is among the friendliest and most tolerant of top BS’s. From what I’ve seen, there don’t tend to be a lot of cliques, and most students seem to treat each other with genuine respect.</p>
<p>I guess my questions are along more hypothetical lines. My apologies if anyone thought I was taking a stand one way or the other. I’m just so thoroughly confused about the way the term bully is being used. I realize that sincere inquiry doesn’t always come across as such in writing and can often be taken as confrontational.</p>
<p>I have spoken with my son about getting very familiar with his school’s definition of what is considered bullying. The line is not always clear.</p>
<p>Bullying is certainly the word (or one of many) for the year and maybe the decade that’s for sure as the advance in media and technology has opened up additional avenues.</p>
<p>In this case, it just sounds like bad behavior.</p>
<p>facebook was shut down because some “well meaning” senior girls decided to use it to humiliate some other students and faculty. The pages were confiscated, the site blocked from the campus server and it was thoroughly investigated. Some of the students were dismissed from school, some were put on probation. Facebook is available, but only until 7pm. It shuts down during study hours.</p>
<p>FB was not banned. It was removed so that the posts in question could be removed and the incident investigated…it is available to students until 7pm each night and on weekends. Public social forums are not intended to be used to humiliate, insult and bully other people. As a choate parent I applaud the faculty for being proactive in dealing with these situations.</p>
<p>I read the pages. my daughter copied them and showed me before the posts were removed. the school did the right thing. the content of these pages went way beyond a clique of girls being catty.</p>
<p>@zenrose, I was reassured by Choate students, parents and our interviewer that Choate has no tolerance for this kind of misconduct. I personally was impressed how Choate handled the FB incident.</p>
<p>Choate has “zero” tolerance for honor code violations. No kid is perfect and some (like in all places) think the rules do not apply to them. I have been a parent for many years at choate and this FB stuff is not the norm. To show how seriously Choate handles violations, last year they dismissed a senior the week prior to graduation (he had attended all 4 years)…for a violation…if that isn’t “zero” tolerance, I don’t know what is.</p>