<p>Now . . this might come as a shock to some of you avid C.Norris fans . . but the man can't read. Yep, his tears can cure cancer, he can make someone explode by staring at them, he can shoot a German plane with his finger by yelling bang, anything you can imagine .. except read. </p>
<p>See for yourself . . </p>
<p>Blasphemy!!!!!</p>
<p>Chuck Norris learned to read and write thousands of years ago (in fact he created the concept of language). Then he set a bush on fire and chucked a stone he had written on to some weirdo in a tunic because he looked at him funny. That 'weirdo' was Moses - and thus Chuck Norris created not only language but also morals. </p>
<p>May Chuck smite you down for your insolence!</p>
<p>The sound of Chuck Norris reading can cure deafness. Unfortunately, Chuck Norris can't read. </p>
<p>Did you hear how he stumbled when he saw his name as "Chuck Norris' tears" . . I guess the apostrophe threw him off . . and yeah I'm waiting to be spited, lollz.</p>
<p>Whoa, I never knew Chuck's actually seen and read those on national TV!</p>
<p>Lol, now you know all.</p>
<p>If apostrophes could throw Chuck off then there wouldn't be any more apostrophes - TRUST ME.</p>
<p>Chuck Norris did not make a mistake in his reading - he simply changed English language (for the better, in my opinion).</p>
<p>Whoa... Chuck Norris was born in 1940! He's 66 now. Wow, he looks like he's in mid-40s or something.</p>
<p><a href="http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0001569/%5B/url%5D">http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0001569/</a></p>
<p>Chuck Norris fathered himself circa 500000 b.c. (or 0 B.C. - Before Chuck). You have faulty information</p>
<p>Well I was going to say it's the round-house kicks that make him look so superior, but I guess it's just because he's Chuck Norris and the fact that he's the only one who can't age, right Purest Awesome?</p>
<p>And look, when I wrote this </p>
<p>"The sound of Chuck Norris reading can cure deafness. Unfortunately, Chuck Norris can't read." </p>
<p>I FORGOT TO INCLUDE MY APOSTROPHE. I GUESS HE DID SPITE ME, WOW THIS IS AMAZING</p>
<p>lols. touch</p>
<p>Meh - I actuallly don't think Chuck Norris is that great. In fact, I say I could probably beat him up. I would be like 'Hey Chuck, is your dress at the drycleaners and then [dies instantly of a roundhouse kick to the face...]</p>
<p>The moral: Don't question Chuck. Ever.</p>