<p>Chuck Norris created Scientology as an April Fool's Joke one year. To his dismay, no one has gotten it.</p>
<p>As Chuck Norris approaches zero, zero runs like a little b-tch.</p>
<p>Chuck Norris coined the phrase "Pardon my French" after picking up a French man and using him like a bat to club people.</p>
<p>When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.</p>
<p>guns dont kill people, chuck norris kills people.</p>
<p>Chuck Norris can solve every mathematical proof simply by writing "Because Chuck says so".</p>
<p>The most effective form of suicide known to man is to type "Chuck Norris" into Google and hit "I'm Feeling Lucky!".</p>
<p>As a young teen, Chuck Norris discovered a zit on his forehead. After staring down the zit in the mirror, Chuck promptly gave himself a roundhouse kick to the face. The kick landed squarely on the zit, and Chuck Norris has had a beautiful, clear complexion ever since.</p>
<p>this chuck norris thing is so nerdy. Please stop.</p>
<p>Just leave the thread and it will all go away, RBase.</p>
<p>Chuck Norris can make a woman orgasm by just pointing at her and saying Booyah.</p>
<p>But Jack Bauer only has to point.</p>
<p>Chuck Norris does the wave at concerts that benefit tsunami victims.</p>
<p>Chuck Norris owns all of the #1 pencils.</p>
<p>Chuck Norris counts his chickens before they hatch. He also prefers to eat his eggs before they come out of the chicken.</p>
<p>Whenever Chuck Norris plays Chutes and Ladders, he treats the chutes as ladders, because he's not some pussy who can't climb up a plastic slide.</p>
<p>Lol, plmok, getting a little carried away are we?</p>
<p>chuck norris' wife once was baking a turkey and burnt it. she apologized to chuck and he said, "its ok honey ill fix it." he then went outside, found a live turkey, and swallowed it whole. he vomited it and it came out baked with cranberry sauce and mashed potatoes. his wife said, "how'd you do that?." Chuck replied, "DON'T EVER QUESTION CHUCK!", then roundhouse kicked her in the face.</p>
<p>handicapped signs were invented as a reminder of what can happen if you mess with chuck.</p>
<p>chuck norris destroyed the periodic table once. the only element he recognizes is the element of surprise.</p>
<p>a man once asked chuck norris if his real name was charles. chuck then stared at the man until his head exploded.</p>
<p>The dinosaurs looked at Chuck Norris the wrong way once. ONCE.</p>