Class of 2021 (sharing, venting, etc)

I just want to let you all know that 7 years ago I was exactly where all of you are with my D. In the end she decided to attend Marymount Manhattan for the BA with the MT minor. She loved living in NYC and didn’t mind going to dance classes across town or to voice lessons on the UWS. She definitely took it hard not to be cast her freshman year, but received nothing but very high praise from staff in all disciplines during the “juries.” She had great songs when she participated in the freshman showcase and had a blast. She found outside venues in NYC and was cast in several productions during her time at Marymount. Her biggest complaint about the program was the lack of performance opportunities. She spent many hours in lines to audition in NYC even while attending school and had some casting success.

She graduated and began a couple of survival jobs and continued to audition, but after another year in the city she was already tired of this life. Like many of your own kids she was a top academic student and was passionate about MT, but in the end she decided that the life of a performer was not for her. I know that constantly juggling her jobs and auditions while trying to fit in dance classes and a few voice or acting classes when she could afford them became more of a hassle and she decided to rethink what to do next. She spent another year just working in NYC while saving money and not auditioning at all. After another year she moved home to the west coast and decided to get her elementary teaching credential.

I just wanted to let all of you parents know that sometimes no matter what the outcome of the auditions are your kid may or may not stick with the life of a performer. My D loved her years in NYC and really took advantage of all the opportunities through both school and in the city. In the end it is not always about how much talent you have, but whether or not you can live the life of constant auditioning and rejection and keep going. She is excited to have her own class beginning this fall here in Southern California.

I hope that all of your kids land in places they love and wish all of you the best as you finish up this crazy process!

@Ducky312 I have heard that also but if true that would suggest that all the schools would use that formula for auditions. It maybe that with seasoned pros that is true but maybe not so much with younger kids of various experience levels.

@tabers I would suggest that you wait until you know if she has been placed in MT so that you know for sure she would want to go to NYU if she got enough money from them. I also negotiated around 4/15, so I don’t think that’s too late. At that time, I was able to be direct with the financial aid office, tell them the other school that she was considering and how much they were offering financially, and that NYU would be her top choice if they could match the offer – in the end, they did and she will be graduating from Tisch in May. Best of luck to you!

@jbtcat Thanks very much! That was my inclination, but I wanted the benefit of this wise community’s experience.

Just want to encourage everyone reading for future years that this process is not personal. I didn’t enjoy some of the audition process, but I never felt anyone did anything personal to me (us, him). I’m glad my S was able to choose schools to audition for that “fit” him v.s. having to fit the same rubric for every school. He is without a doubt not every schools cup of tea and they certainly wouldn’t be his. I recall a program he was initially interested in until he read the audition requirements and he said he wasn’t willing to do that for any school. NOT a choice I would make, but at the end of the day, it was a CHOICE to be made. His reasoning: he would be upset if he wasn’t accepted to that program after jumping through all their hoops. He was not willing to invest more than he could emotionally handle. I admired that approached and hoped he didn’t regret it, but reminded him he would ultimately live with his choice.

@Ducky312, I do believe they know if they love you or hate you in that time. I think the middle layer (which is probably most people) is why they need the next 8, 16, or whatever the cut is.

@sopranomtmom - I’m sorry that happened at OCU. One of its greatest strengths is the people. I hope you shared with them your experience and how disappointing it was. They would want to know so it doesn’t happen again. I am not sure why that would have happened. Typically their auditions run like clockwork. I am sure they would never intend to slight anyone. I am truly sorry you had that experience. We have found it a wonderful place with incredible teachers and students. So I’m sorry you didnt get to experience the best of OCU.

Re: casting - be aware that sometimes one does not get cast in a lead until they are a junior or senior because the shows being done your first few years don’t best suit you. Don’t worry if that happens. It should just be incentive to keep working hard. For example, say your school did Hairspray. There may be a limited number of girls who are the right type to play Tracy Turnblad. The best option could indeed be a freshman which is fantastic for them to have that opportunity. But it does not necessarily mean that person is any more or less talented than their classmates or upperclassmen. It just means the right part for them came during their freshman year. Now that same talented girl may not get cast her sophomore or junior year, not because she isn’t talented - but because the shows being done call for a different type than what she is. Again, do not worry. Keep working hard so you are ready when the right opportunity comes along. You will find type matters a whole lot more than it did in high school. I know a girl who did not have a lead until the final show of her senior year. She was understudying an equity lead who’d been brought in for a co-production with a local equity theater. To make matters worse, Not only was this her first lead in college, she didn’t get to do her performance because it was determined the equity lead needed that show for more rehearsal. So she never got to perform. But you know what? She has gone on to be one of the most successful people in her class having done several national tours now. And she never got to perform as a lead in college. So - do not get discouraged about callbacks and parts. Be ready when the right opportunity comes along. I know other students who were cast in professional equity shows before being cast in college. You just never know.

Also, embrace the ensemble! Many of these kids, rarely, if ever were only in the ensemble in high school. But it can be far less stressful and much more fun than having a lead. Oftentimes you can really work on your dance and other skills. And their typically is great camaraderie amongst the ensemble members. It’s all valuable experience!

Anyone know why we have not gotten any response from UWSP? I’ve emailed with no response. Left 2 messages…talked to one person today who said letters are still going out? They are going to make this decision easy…

@vvnstar We were very surprised. The day started off so warm and friendly, but by the time it came time for my daughter’s audition the vibe had totally changed. They had two shows running that evening and I sensed they were rushing the afternoon group through because they had to be clearing out and people needed to be getting to their respective show duties. It made me really sad because my D had been dreaming of that audition for years and the reception in the singing audition room and being told brusquely to pick just one song and then not getting to sing her aria just completely flustered her and it affected her performance because she just felt rushed and uncertain of what they wanted to hear from her. It was a mess. And then to get to her acting audition and be given a second to pick one of her monologues and GO! But I guess she did it really well because she was accepted for BFA Acting. But overall it just sort of felt like it wasn’t meant to be. We were supposed to go back and see the opera that evening but opted out because her heart just wasn’t in it anymore. But all things work out the way they are supposed to as my post in Final Decisions will attest!

@sopranomtmom Congrats to you both on your final decision! Very exciting and wish you all the best.

@showmom858 For my D, it wasn’t the rejection that lead her in a different direction, it was the not knowing where you’d be in a month or 6 months. She is someone who likes to plan ahead and wanted a clearer path with more stability and more upward mobility.

While she loves performing and does have talent, it was more the lifestyle that didn’t suit her rather than the rejections. She probably began to realize that as a Freshman as she began to know the upperclassman and recent graduates and began to go on her first auditions. The summer after freshman year she chose to intern in the city in two entertainment industry positions rather than try out for summer stock. As a sophomore she began to minor in the Business of Entertainment, Media and Technology as well as English literature. She continued to love her MT classes, was cast in productions and had a wonderful relationship with her voice professor, but it was clear that she enjoyed MT in a school-setting, but not necessarily as a career at this point in her life.

But I will add, that she has always said that she could see herself auditioning in NYC when she is older. Just this week she actually articulated that to her close friend (who is an agent). He said that he could definitely see it and would try to cast her as Mrs. Lovett someday. In the meantime she is going to start going to NYU for an MBA and is trying to work out voice lessons there, as well. So who knows where any of them will end up down the road?

@sopranomtmom My D had a very similar experience - not singing her art song and only doing one monologue - and then being accepted to BFA Acting and BA Music. Maybe they were there the same day?

@KelviVan she was there for her audition on 3/4.

Wow - just spent a few hours reading the last 10 pages or so of this thread - brought every bit of the rollercoaster we went through a year ago right back. I wish everyone relief and peace and happiness and good financial aid juju with the final decisions - and for those on WL - I feel your pain - been there - March was bad, but April was worse!

I wrote this last year, but reading @remartin67 's post reinforced it - I strongly believe that the MT audition process should be standardized a la the Common App. Do I think it will be or that the theater departments wish it would be? Nope. But beyond everything, it, like the coaches and the schools which require you to come to campus to audition and all the other puzzle pieces, it favors those with the money to spend on these things. Which may be the way of the world, but it feels like it could be remedied in many, fairly easy, ways. So maybe the schools need to start thinking of the incredible stresses on applications and open the door to making things easier for the applicants and their families - who are, ultimately, their clients/

In our case, the shifting requirements for the pre-screens, in particular, drove me insane and cost us a lot of money and lost school days, too - remembering one school, in particular, which suddenly added a pre-screen, with – of course – slightly different requirements than all the other already-filmed pre-screens but didn’t post the new ones on their site until September - after we had already filmed all the others. And why not make them all 32 bars and two contrasting one-minute monologues? And a set length of time and requirements for dance clips. If some schools can make their minds up after 8 bars, they have the freedom to stop watching at that point. I’m sure the Common App was initially met with “no way” from many colleges, and yes, it has led to huge over-applying when the same core of applicants get in as earlier, but few would say it’s not an improvement over doing each one separately.

@sopranomtmom - your “upset” post really hit home with me. That was us a year ago in so many ways. And you are so right - letting your child be upset and choosing the moment (and blowing it) to offer some pearls of parental wisdom is what it’s all about. Despite many positives, at that time my D focused on the negatives and obsessed over being really close (a WL and a final hold group) at some “big names” - one of which she was completely head over heels over. Yet an acceptance to a school she completely loved, except for the other school she was WL at! Of course! Finally, once it sorted itself out, she immediately released the negativity and became the optimist she usually is. This weekend I’m headed to see her in her first mainstage production - the application year (largely) forgotten by both of us. You will get there!

@theaterwork ’ s post #4412 may go down as one of my all time favorite posts. This line in particular is worth repeating:

Yep. True.

The only thing I would add to this amazingly coherent statement is that if you have someone folding like a deck of cards, be a soft landing pad when they fold. Most will fold and some quicker than you think regardless of talent. It’s tough out there.

Aww thanks @halflokum you’ve been a great source of info the past year plus that I’ve been on CC.
And yes, I do plan on being a landing pad if my D folds. We all will.
Meanwhile after our college re visit this week D proceeds to say
“I just am really looking forward to college and to start learning.”
What? That comment tho… <3

Oh and might I add that landing pad may be a mattress in the basement! Lol

Been there. The mattress was in the living room for awhile. One of my kids fell pretty hard (not MT S). Eventually, mattress moved to spare room and is now - a few years later - happily residing at another domicile. That kid’s path is not what we envisioned when he was tearing it up academically and creatively in elementary school. Some plants that go through the toughest times become the mightiest trees. Only time will tell.

@mom4bwayboy TRUTH!

Question off topic a little. Has anyone heard from the Webster Conservatory in the last week or so?!?

Well if it’s any comfort we know plenty of non-theatre parents with kids back at home after college. Seems to be difficult for many young people getting started in just about any field these days. In many ways our theatre kids may be more prepared for the harsh realities of adult life after all they go through than non-theatre kids. They learn a great deal of resilience, ingenuity and determination through all of this for sure.