@jazzboydad I don’t know of any strategy, but if Oberlin is his 1st choice and Frost 2nd, I’d accept Frost on May 1 (assuming Oberlin hasn’t come thru before then), be willing to lose your deposit at Frost, and contact Oberlin on May 2nd. It’s not over until then IMO. It’s possible an admitted student waited until May 1 to decline and that (even if your S wasn’t initially next in line) the spot can be had by the fact that the others have moved on.
@jazzboydad I sent you a PM
Sunday 12pm CST Message (including near midnight news from Saturday):
@aafraser — congrats on the amazing admits (on acceptance thread)! We haven’t yet seen anything from NEC so may not be as good as your news.
@jazzboydad — I’m sure a year from now he’ll remember that amazing festival more than the disappointing news! He has great memories to look back on.
@Bay Area Mom 2016 — sorry to hear USC news but glad to hear your D sounds excited about her other excellent options.
Thanks for the info regarding NEC mailings and financial aid notices (@tripletmama and @SpartanDrew)!
Amazing how one can feel from day to day. I’m not sure how D is thinking about her options, but it’s a lot to process. Deciding between majors as well as schools makes it even more difficult.
There are some good strategies for getting off wait lists-- here’s an article: https://www.violinist.com/blog/karenrile/20143/15670/
Thank you @SpartanDrew @dbandmom @pikachusmom @glassharmonica You guys are so helpful and selfless with advice, wisdom, and encouragement—what a great community!
Just wanted to chime in on gap years.
My D was forced into a gap year due to a major car wreck. We were worried about it at first wondering how the colleges looked at not going straight from HS. However, during the year and a half (the wreck was during senior year) until she applied she did a lot of soul searching.
She had been playing classical since she started violin and planned on auditioning for that. That was just the natural progression. During that extra time though, she figured out that it was not her really her passion. She still loved violin but wanted something different and started playing jazz and contemporary. She spent her gap year studying a new genre, going to new camps, and finding a new instructor. We knew it was a long shot changing what she was doing that late in the game, but we saw a change in her as she was truly enjoying playing again.
For us it worked out, she got her white box for pop music and was accepted into another jazz program at a State school. But even if it had not, the gap year was more than worth it because she found her true passion which would not have happened otherwise. Having some time to mature and figure out what you really want is invaluable.
So if you find need for a gap year, it’s OK. It may even be better than it would have been without it.
@calican so sorry to hear about the car accident that resulted in the gap year but I’m real glad to hear it did not have worse impact on your D’s health and well being. Kudos to her for resilience. Thanks for sharing your insights on this topic.
@calican - I love reading stories like this! (and glad that your daughter not only healed but found her passion). Our daughter had a similar detour - she was a classical bassist dabbling in jazz on the side. I must admit, I could tell that jazz was her “thing” but kept it to myself. She applied to the Colburn High School program in classical for her junior year and although she impressed them with her pre-school audition tapes, after flying to LA with her bass, she bombed the audition.
She still moved to LA and studied classical bass at the Colburn Community School in her junior year (and a local Arts HIgh School). During this time, she had a shoulder injury that limited her bowing but discovered her high school had a great jazz program so she decided to focus on jazz. She now rarely plays classical and jazz is her passion.
So - I guess my point is that when one door closes very often another one opens - and many times the door is open but it takes some time for the student to walk through it.
In a way (and I know this sounds crazy) - I’m almost hoping that our daughter takes a gap year if the scholarships don’t line up. I think that sometimes students get so focused on “the usual next step” that they don’t take a step back and see the forest for the trees and listen to their inner voice, set goals, etc. It’s all about what college they are going to without fully evaluating if it lines up with their hopes and dreams, or even what those are.
@calican thank you for sharing your daughter’s story. I appreciate hearing different perspectives. I’m glad your daughter is doing well!
What a great story @calican and such a great inspirational read for others. Congrats on the white box and pop comm to say the least! We were also prepared for a GAP year and thought it would have been an excellent option.
Yes, @calican, thank you so much for sharing this. Even more excited for your D now!
And everyone with admits, please take the time to send them to @“Mezzo’sMama” for the acceptance thread — such a joyful read.
I would consider the “lesser school” depending on teacher of course. There might be more chance to perform and shine, who knows. It can be hard watching peers going off to school and not doing the same. Of course, a productive gap year, if well-planned, can feel okay in that regard.
I think this really depends on personality and some other factors particular to each case and story, but I do think sometimes kids go to what seems like an inferior choice, relative to their top one, and thrive.
None of us can answer that of course, since we don’t know your musician kid. But just wanted to add my thoughts.
One of mine also had an accident that did not derail things, but honestly, I don’t like to present it as inspiring. It was a delay, that’s all- and she is alive 
She did kind of lose a year, frankly.
Thanks to compmom for her opinion. About a gap year can be a great option for some teenagers to grow and prepare more but sometimes some teenagers lose a track. I still consider a gap year for my jazz instrumentalist who doesn’t seem mature enough to think about financials. But we certainly keep an option for a “lesser school” for financial reasons.
Deciding on school based on a private instructor seems to be very common. However, I think that my son doesn’t need to attend a school because private lessons by a desired instructor. He can arrange lessons with the best fit of private instructor in Skype or in-person without attending a top-dollar school. It would be a much cheaper option if my son decides to choose a “lesser school” with financial fit. This may not apply to classical music but I think that it applied to jazz / commercial music.
This is all so informative. My son didn’t apply to any well-known schools (maybe Chapman but it’s totally unaffordable right now) but he’s older already (turning 22 in a couple of months; already took a gap year after high school, but hasn’t been in school for 2 years) so I think he’s just determined to try and finish college.
I think I’m struggling with his choices because they’re commuter schools for the most part and I am worried he won’t get a good enough education to get into grad school.
Does he just choose a school based on the teacher that he feels can develop him the most regardless of the reputation of the school?
I do know a student who went to a small, private Christian school that doesn’t have any reputation for music, and he went to Julliard for his masters (viola) and USC for his DMA. So I know it’s possible to go to grad school coming from an unknown u/g school.
JeJeJe raises a good point about access to teachers via other means than attending a school where they teach. My kid ended up at a BA program that was affordable, and the chair of the dept, at the conservatory we could not afford offered to teach her privately. Some of her friends had similar setups.
Now that I have kids who have been in grad school for a few years, I can confidently affirm what sbjdorlo suggested, that students at top grad schools come from all kinds of schools. And funding at that level may be better (but not always).
Many ways to go!
It’s hard to know what the tiers of “lesser schools” are. There are 600+ accredited music programs and about 30 schools that seem to be worth applying to based on this forum, even if you want to be a K-12 teacher. (Heck, our local public claims 100% placement for music ed. majors).
My understanding is that grad school will very much depend on the audition rather than the name of the school. I guess that’s what I’m counting on - my son is probably at least a year or two behind the kids going to top schools, but he wants to go to college now, so “lesser school” it is. He’s a 17 year old with ADHD - he is way too unfocused to have a productive gap year - he needs structure.
He is leaning towards the “lesser” of his two “lesser” schools where he could minor in jazz or music industry because he does play classical, commercial and jazz and really likes it all. This school also seems to have the better fit teacher.
Sorry for the rambling - I know his situation is different from most here and this is all very kid dependent, obviously. A gap year seems to make sense for a mature focused kid who had every expectation of getting into a top school.
@herewegoagain2018: this should be engraved somewhere: " I wish schools would be more open and publish their available number of seats for each instrument, voice etc and then everyone could make their application decisions accordingly. The way the current process works makes for these disappointments. You’re essentially shooting darts in the dark and the board shrinks or moves each year without notice…" Although my daughter is very happy w/ where she is sitting right now… I find we are both second guessing ourselves… trying to figure out ways she might have prepared better in order to avoid the rejections she has learned to accept as part of this process… but the quote above… makes very good sense .
@eh1234, I can relate to the “being behind” part. Though my son has been a cellist for 15 years, he hasn’t had a steady teacher for 3 years (he goes back to his old teacher occasionally, but did the audition stuff all himself for the most part). Further, he had a severe ear infection + a hearing loss last summer and didn’t decide to apply as a cello performance major until September when he started playing cello again after 4-5 months off.
This, among other things, was the reason he didn’t apply to selective schools (he also has severe anxieties). He’s a really, really good cellist and wants to own his own cello studio one day after grad school. I hope whatever he chooses will help move him towards that goal.
@eh1234~ I love your son’s goal (that “shines” through in spite of the struggle). It sounds like he is ready to start on the path that will achieve it. Best of luck to him and you!
Congratulations to everyone who has received acceptances this weekend!! This has been a busy weekend. Hugs to those who did not hear good news. Hang in there, you only need one school to say yes!
@CaraCoMO I have a few thoughts about the gap year vs transfer question I wanted to share.
If the overall goal is to reapply for scholarshp money the following year then the main goal should be to improve your skills and technique. Some are fortunate enough to have resources in their home town to make that happen. So a gap year may work well for them. Others may benefit more by attending a program where they can focus on thier training to prepare for the next round of auditions. Which was the case for one of my children, a dancer, who had maxed out her training at home and would have to leave home to seek a new level of training. Having to take on the expense of moving we decided on a college program.
Another serious concern is whether or not colleges offer scholarships to transfer students. There may be different answers for talent scholarship vs academic scholarship. Do your research before you commit to taking any college classes. Some colleges will count having one college credit as a transfer student. If your list is all conservatories you may be ok as a transfer student. Keep in mind the list of schools may change over time as well. Plan carefully!
In my own resaerch, I have seen both senarios lead to a successful outcome. Some have questioned whether there will be enough time to for significant improvement to gain more scholarship money. When a student can focus all of their attention on their training without other distractions growth can happen quickly! A month or two can make a huge difference. Most auditions can be scheduled in Jan or Feb which leaves a full semester to improve.
As someone else mentioned, some who choose to attend the alternate college program, actually decide they love it and want to stay put. My dancer decided she liked the program and opportunites available to her there. She came to realize that the program she was in would offer her much more than the dream school in the long run.
Feel free to PM me.