The issue of privacy has come up many times, with one long-time poster repeatedly private messaging many of us to suggest we discontinue the journey threads for this reason. I believe where we left it is that each poster will make the decision for themselves and their kids as to what can be shared and what is better left unsaid.
Similarly, those who have trouble with the unwieldiness of the Journey threads are free not to follow them, but should refrain from criticizing them to others. Again, we all give and receive support in different ways, and what is confusing to you may be reassuring to others.
Finally, new posters should be aware that some of our long-time participants have not recently been involved in the admissions process — in some cases, their students have long since graduated music school. “Old timers” have a lot of valuable information to offer, but please keep in mind that their experience may not be up to date.
@SpartanDrew and @GoForth, ccing you to see if I missed anything. @DramaMama603 just FYI as the 2024 gathers speed. May the wind lift your wings!
What’s interesting to me about the privacy discussion is these are kids who (mostly) have chosen to live a life in public. They are performers. They have to put their music, their face and their name out there on a daily basis. They have chosen a career that requires them to give up the old idea of privacy. Of course most kids who aren’t performers also don’t give a hoot about privacy any more but that’s another matter.
If my kid was aiming to be a teacher or a composer or an engineer maybe I’d have a different pov. But my D and her generation of performers spend half of their time practicing/playing and the other half of their time self promoting. Because it’s the only way to make this kind of career choice work.
Now the question or finances and appeals and other topics are more a matter between parents. My D knows I discuss those things here and she’s fine with it as she knows that’s how we got “smarter” during this process. But I totally get how other folks would want to keep financial matters to themselves. And that’s obviously an individual choice.
Anyway I’m glad folks have been so open as that’s been the key to my learning process.
I have a question about scholarships that I need guidance cause it’s driving me crazy right now. After learning that the scholarships at CMU are mostly need based aids, my son refuses to check his portal no matter how I ask him. He told me that schools tend to admit students that don’t have financial needs and then give the full paid tuition to the ones that need financial help. CMU is a good option for him in the hopes that he could get into BCSA (Bachelor of Computer Science and Arts) since he cares a lot more for CS. What should I do?
Hi. I appreciate all of the choices for posting. I think I will continue the GoForth Journal thread since it already went in that direction of post-admission info, just to keep it the bundle that it is. Maybe I’ll post in both, as the info fits. S “might” even continue on to a MM, so the continuity of the Journal thread would be a nice flow.
Yes. I don’t like to dwell on it, but as far back as my more compact journal thread, I was PM’d and then similarly called out in my thread on its large size and privacy risks. But I will repeat a note of it here so that the harrassment does not go swept under the rug.
@pdxtigermom I’m a little confused. You mean he doesn’t know if he is getting aid and refuses to check? Is he paying for school? If not, that’s not really his decision to make.
Perfectly stated, @akapiratequeen! Everyone should post at their own comfort level. The information shared on these threads is invaluable to prospective students and parents, so I would hate to see it dumbed down under the guise of privacy.
@akapiratequeen He knows he won’t get any need based aids. We are paying for him. He rejected a merit scholarship from Michigan yesterday.
I guess he feels not fair to pay full price since he works hard.
Where’s he thinking he wants to go, @pdxtigermom? He has such an interesting array of skills. Does he know if he got into CMU? He must be very anxious about this, I totally understand that. Sometimes they just have to gather their strength before looking at the results. I would just try to be as reassuring as possible, I imagine he will look soon. I wonder if it’s easier on the weekend than during the school week.
@pdxtigermom I see in the acceptance thread that CMU isn’t listed. So he doesn’t know if he has been accepted yet? Is that his first choice? If this is true, it may be fear of rejection, which can be crushing.
On the other hand, maybe he prefers a different school and is afraid if the award is generous from CMU, he might be pressured into accepting (not saying pressured by you, but it’s hard to turn down a top school when they award $).
If he has been accepted and wants to attend CMU, I agree with @akapiratequeen that you have a right to know since you are footing the bill.
He applied for BCSA but only accepted to CFA (the music part). CS is extremely competitive at CMU-it’s among the best in the nation. I emailed BCSA director and she assured me that it would be no problem for him to transfer to BCSA after 2 semesters. He just needs to take 3 prerequisite CS classes and get B and above which he has no problem getting.
My son has Direct Admit to Computer Science major at University of Washington and violin performance as 2nd major. His other 4 acceptances are all on viola and hopefully to get into CS later.
@pdxtigermom You could explain to him that lack of an award doesn’t mean they value his hard work any less. They are giving another equally talented, equally hard working child who may not have means to afford a CMU education an opportunity! They will not look at financials when placing him in ensembles or giving grades. His continued hard work will lead to distinction if merited!
I even emailed the viola professor at CMU since we didn’t go to the live audition and only submitted a video audition. The professor said that he was very impressed with his playing and sending a video audition has no impact in his merit scholarships.
In another thread you posted he “insists on going to U Washington”. Perhaps he just isn’t interested in CMU!
@songbirdmama yes, he’s insisting on going to UW. I even emailed the Admissions and asked for his information and here’s their response.
We are so excited that S is seriously considering Carnegie Mellon. I know we would very much like to see him in the School of Music.
Until S checks his portal to look at financial aid, there is not assistance I can provide. Please have him log in so you all can have a better sense of where you stand. Once you’ve done that, please let me know what it would take to get S here. I will warn you that the School of Music has extraordinarily limited funding for undergraduate scholarships, so I cannot make any promises.
@meltedbutter Mental health above all else. If that is also her dream school…how lucky you are! Make it happen If you can afford to.
If you can’t, mental health should take priority over dream school. Maybe you can find a school close to home you can afford. If your D has a good teacher (which can even be found outside of school) and is thinking of grad school anyway, you don’t need the dream school right now.
@pdxtigermom You will get NO INFO from any college once your S is enrolled. My D would get NO MONEY from me if she didn’t comply with my reasonable requests.
However, it sounds like there is something bothering your S. Maybe try to figure out what exactly it is and reassure him before laying down the law. When all is done, let him know that if he withholds info or refuses to share important info with you in the future, what the consequences will be!
I was getting mad and called him before even checking if we have international plans since he’s in Canada on a choir tour. He said he’ll check when there’s WiFi. I’ll wait for several hours.
@dbandmom Thanks for your response. Yes, that’s what I think too. Can always re-evaluate each year.