My son’s GF is probably a size 14-16, depending on cut…more towards 16. There is a fabulous store called Torrid. I love their clothing and wish they had it in my size, but it’s considered and advertises as a “plus size” store. They have an online store as well as brick and mortar. We have one on our town. They vanity size and start from a 00 (size 10) and up. The clothing is youthful, trendy and really pretty.
I’d love to purchase something from there for her. I know her style fairly well, as she seems to like the same things as I do. I actually find more things there that I think she’d like than from any other store. Would it be insensitive of me to purchase something there? She may not see herself as “plus size”, nor appreciate me indicating that. Oh, I think I’m answering my own question.
But what do you think? In any case, if anyone is interested, you should check it out. Great prices, too.
@conmama i don’t think I would get her clothes. A good friend of mine once got a gift from Lane Bryant. Let’s just say…she was very offended and returned it. And it was a beautiful coat.
I think I would get something else for this young lady. Or if you want to get clothes, maybe consider a place that isn’t billed as “plus size”.
I’d say no, I think the young adult me would’ve been offended, I started dating my husband after college at my heaviest weight at the time, 12/14 (I’m 5’8”), there was no winning buying me clothes, either they were a size I didn’t like that fit, or a size I did like but too small.
My European grandmother had a rule- book, handkerchiefs for SO’s up until the wedding. Nobody uses or gives handkerchiefs- so that leaves books which is extremely safe. This past Sunday was the NYTimes annual book roundup… you can’t go wrong with a recently published book! I would not do clothing, whether she’s a size 2 or a size 22. There is always room for someone to be offended (leather trim for a vegan? wool for someone with multiple allergies and chronic excema? Non-sustainably harvested rayon for a passionate Eco-warrior?). Just… don’t.
I agree with the others. Having been plus sized for parts of my life, including my 20s, I would have been super offended with the implication, no matter how well intended. I think if you want to do something personal, do something that doesn’t have a size like a handbag or a nice pashmina scarf.
I think your heart is in the right place but Torrid might not be the right store.
My daughter has had gifts of clothing from her boyfriend’s parents in the past. And she always liked them. She wouldn’t like any clothing gifts from me even though my taste is very good
But my daughter is very slim and so she wouldn’t have found any issues with size and it’s hard to say if the girlfriend is very conscious about her size.
My daughter in law is bigger sized than myself with very different tastes in clothing. I have never given her a gift of clothing as we have very different tastes and she’s not into clothing.
First of all, I never knew Torrid was a plus sized store. Maybe she doesn’t know either.
If she knows Conmama like we do , she knows that fashion is important and beloved by you. It seems pretty natural to me that you would give her a gift of style. And you mention that she dresses fairly stylish so it’s not like you’re looking to get cashmere for someone that wears Carhart all the time! (also stylish though these days!!)
Here’s my question. Does she embrace her size and feel comfortable with her body and who she is??? There is (happily) a lot of focus and social movement on accepting body image and today’s young adult population are better at embracing their body size and type than we were/are.
If you feel she is comfortable with her body and style and you have a close enough relationship to just enjoy the thrill of the product you give her, I think shopping at Torrid is ok. As always, provide a gift receipt and a comment of “no strings attached” if she doesn’t care for it. Then give it with love and excitement and compliments galore on how you think it will look on her!
But if you think she IS body conscious and for any reason unhappy with her clothing size then maybe double think it.
I support the idea of a more size inclusive shop but it also sounds like @conmama , a fashion forward person feels that Torrid abounds with clothing GF’s style.
I think it is a sad, sad situation that we have that we put a stigma like that on a store and that in turn, it puts a stigma on someone for shopping there. There are lots of people who embrace their curves and non size small figures and realize they can look good regardless of their weight or waist size.
If she wears scarves, sure consider a scarf. A scarf would be a wasted gift on me or my daughters.
My MIL even bought me maternity clothes that were too small! And money was tight for them-- I always felt bad, she tried so hard but the fit was off, we lived many states over without the ability to exchange what she bought for a bigger size.
I can tell she is a bit self conscious by the way she stands, holds herself. I think I might get her a DSW gift card, as I know she loves boots and shoes as much as I do. Then perhaps a fun non-size article of clothing for winter. I already bought her jewelry fir her birthday last month.
I hope you compliment her as one does on her outfits when you are with her. I’ll be you do! A size 14-16 is a normal size for much of the population and really she should be able to get clothing at most any shop unless maybe a junior shop (which she probably doesn’t wear age wise anymore!)
And I hope that people of our generation and ALL generations stop focusing on size and just focus on things like personality and style when we consider how someone “looks”.
I do think if you know the store they like it can be okay. Another GF likes Madewell, so I buy her sweaters there and she keeps and wears them. I also have bought her other things I’ve never seen her in from other stores…so now I just stick with Madewell…but I buy other things too, plus gift receipts always! I did take a pic and send it to her mom once to get her opinion.
My go to with SO’s were restaurant gift cards that I thought they’d enjoy together (places they really couldn’t afford), day spas, Broadway roulette, skiing for those who ski’d, my 24 year old and his gf are really into mini golf and diners. This year I bought his gf lulu flared leggings (AP something he suggested, my 19 year old picked them out, ds says she’s a 4 but will have a receipt). My 21 year old and her bf are in graduate school a 4 hour flight from each other, might send him some wine (he’s really getting into it and my sister is very into wine so can help with that). She suggested tickets for something in June but I’m not fond of getting something that specific so far in advance.
I bought DIL a Joules raincoat last year. She is on the larger side but since raincoats aren’t form fitting anyway the size isn’t an issue. It was super cute (dogs on it) and very packable and lightweight. She loved it.
Want to add they run large so don’t order size larger than necessary.
Maybe she doesn’t know either.