I don’t suggest buying clothes for the gf. One, I agree that buying her plus size clothing might rub her the wrong way if she views it in the way you speculated. Two, if they break up, it’s a reminder to her of the mother in law that didn’t happen, making her feel either sad, apathetic, or relieved. No option is positive.
I have never purchased clothing as a gift for my son’s gf of seven years for that reason.
I mention this because my D’s ex-boyfriend’s mom bought her clothes and she will never wear them again, for one of the reasons mentioned above.
I took a look at the Torrid website - good for them for having plus size models that actually look plus size, but as a present I would not do it. Now if I could only figure out what to give my daughter in law! She likes to read, but since she’s working at finishing her dissertation right now, she is not reading anything for fun. She doesn’t wear jewelry or nail polish. I like the idea of a scarf or shawl, but a gift certificate for shoes sounds cool too.
I’ve been married for 29 years and would not welcome clothing gifts from my mother-in-law. Love her. She’s very stylish. But I don’t need her buying me clothes.
If you feel compelled to go with textiles, consider a cool scarf.
I love the DSW gift card idea. I would not buy her clothing, and definitely not from a plus size store, even though it has pretty clothes. If she loves boots and shoes, DSW is perfect!
For all the years I was overweight, I pulled clothing gifts out of their boxes with dread - unsure how the gift giver determined what size to buy. I also always thought I was about to get serious and lose weight, so I didn’t want more clothes in the size I was wearing.
My daughter has disliked everything her MIL has purchased for her over the years (although she graciously accepts and doesn’t return anything). MIL is well-intentioned but does not have the same tastes as my D and does not solicit gift ideas.
I would back away from buying clothing of any sort without very specific guidance from your son.
If you’re ok with gift cards, I don’t think you can go wrong with your idea (DSW) or Sephora/Ulta or Nordstrom.
If she likes experiences, I’ve gotten D & SIL a gift certificate to cooking classes at Whole Foods and Sur la Table, which they’ve really enjoyed.
I don’t think it’s a good idea. She might be offended. There are so many options for gifts and the fact you are asking this question means you might think she be offended that you think she is overweight as well
I would not. Let your son buy her clothes if he wants to for Christmas. I’d get something else that couldn’t be taken the wrong way. Very nice of you to include her in your Christmas giving.
I personally would stay away from clothes and stay away from Torrid and Lane Bryant. I think that might be a can of worms you don’t want to open. Maybe a gift card to Maurices (if you have one in your area). It’s a nice store that carries both plus-size and non-plus size clothing as well as accessories and other stuff. Or maybe a gift card to Macy’s or DSW?
I would say only do Torrid or Lane Bryant if you’ve known her for a long time and you know that she really loves that store…otherwise I’d try a gift card for somewhere else…
I don’t even like the clothes items my best friend of 48 years has bought for me!! So I’m in the “no clothes” camp. And yes, I think most women know that Torrid is plus size for the younger crowd. They do sell cute things though for the younger generation, unlike Lane Bryant or Catherine’s.
If she likes “experiences” I’d be rooting around for something unique like maybe something like the VanGogh exhibit that’s been floating around the country.
She likes experiences is perfect for another side of your creativity: tickets to a show, gift card to a great restaurant, bowling, movies, an art museum membership…
Do the experience gift - I bet you can come up with some great ideas!!
My MIL once bought me a mini black leather skirt. I was in my mid 30s. Umm… Has she EVER seen me wear something like that? I had to laugh. She was constantly buying me things from yard sales and thrift shops. We were basically the same size. Most of the stuff I sent back to Goodwill but some stuff were keepers. My favorite pair of pants she got at a yard sale for$0.50 in the late 90s. I still have them and wear them, but they probably should be junked.
But I agree with the others. I wouldn’t buy clothes unasked. I got older S’s GF clothes last Xmas, but that’s because she had a link to the item, size and all…
I vote with your great idea of GC for DSW and no sizes clothing. I am sad to say i have gotten lots of well-intentioned clothing purchases that totally don’t and are basically gifted or donated because they aren’t my style or just not something i wear.
Many of the garments are wrong size or style or fabric or just “not me.”. I don’t consider myself picky but clothing is just so personal. Add the issue of plus sizes and it’s even a bigger issue.
Last year I gave each of them a cashmere sweater and asked if they’d like them again this year. One said yes but she wanted a large, not medium (this is a girl who wears a size 2 for David’s bridal bridesmaid dresses (ask how we know! Always a bridesmaid…) and is very thin, but has long arms. She also wanted a color I would never have picked, green.
Other kid said, “Thanks, but no.” She’s getting the now traditional Naked makeup box. How exciting, right?
For the record, in the fashion industry, size 14 is not considered “plus size”. Really it’s a shame that women’s clothing even has these designations. As far as I’m aware men don’t. What a surprise.
Myself, I assumed that if @conmama was considering getting a clothing item, she would be pretty well aware what type of items GF would like. Cause Conmama is a a fashionista!
Adding my voice to the chorus to say steer clear of buying clothing. Clothing is so personal that it’s easy to misstep even with good intentions. The gift of a clothing subscription might be well-received. I know my 20-something loves receiving items carefully curated just for her.
I would be mortified if someone bought me something from Torrid. Most stores have size inclusivity now and to have someone buy me something from a known plus size store would really be hurtful. There are so many things to buy and so many places, this seems like a hard no.