<p>here is my question, what is the drinking age, and how old were the players, and were the players over 21 supplying the underage drinkers booze, did anyone drive afterwards, etc</p>
<p>this coach, well, is asking for disastor by suggesting the drinking....</p>
<p>Is the coach attached in some way to the school or is the sport independent of the school...just wondering, because for a college coach to endorse undeage drinking, well, really bad judgement</p>
<p>ebeeee:</p>
<p>You should support and applaud your son for trusting his judgement.</p>
<p>When people are drinking, they often can't seem to resist urging everyone else to imbibe. It can become really unpleasant for the "dry" one.</p>
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Is the coach attached in some way to the school or is the sport independent of the school...just wondering, because for a college coach to endorse undeage drinking, well, really bad judgement
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<p>Yes, bad judgment, but really it's irrelevant. Trust me, Rugby players don't need a coach to tell them what to do.</p>
<p>interesteddad, thanks for the encouragement...I know these kids are supposed to just say "no" but it isn't always that easy. BTW DS is 17! I'm sure some were overage and some underage...DS didn't hang with the binge drinkers in HS either and yes there were some and they were all obviously underage...not sure about who supplied it, my kid definitely didn't drive, not sure who did....in these situations I trust the judgement of my kid and sometimes I even wish he told me a little less....</p>
<p>cello,</p>
<p>I learned and played the game in the pacific nw. I played clubside (college and beyond) near the Canadian border and later after college in the emerald city. Clubsides travel overseas. It is a great way to learn the culture, experience warmth and friendship and history just like study abroad. I've never met friendiler people from all walks of life. We billeted with welsh coal miners in row houses and Irish estates, above pubs and people's homes. My experiences overall were great because I overlooked the few who overdo and just played. </p>
<p>That's been my point I've tried to make. A decision was made really without giving the sport a try and that's unfortunate at the end of the day the kid loses out. I interacted with all kinds of people with all kinds of habits and still kept my identity, I didn't lose myself. </p>
<p>The sport requires a certain level of fitness that someone who party's all the time just isn't going to be able to keep up. </p>
<p>It's unfair that some here who are already attaching labels and concerns know very little about people who play the sport. Very shortsided. </p>
<p>The MD who eariler this year repaired my son's ankle (lacrosse) and is allowing my son to job shadow and will write a refferal for med school played rugby in college and through med school. We played for some of the same clubs at different times. The surgery went well and the ankle healed exceptionally well, what a shame he was probably a drunken rugby player during his college years and didn't turn out to be anything. :( </p>
<p>I think the boy should have laced up his boots, slipped his mouthpiece in and enjoyed the sport and not worry about the drink up. No one would be offended.</p>
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That's been my point I've tried to make. A decision was made really without giving the sport a try and that's unfortunate at the end of the day the kid loses out.
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<p>Actually, it's unfortunate that clubs, sports, fraternities, and even some colleges that are centers of heavy drinking are driving away the increasing number of non-drinkers and moderate drinkers in the college age population.</p>
<p>In response, many IFC greek organizations are responding by having dry chapters such as the Sigma Phi Epsilon's "Balanced Man", Beta Theta Pi's "Men of Principle", and Sigma Alpha Epsilon's "True Gentlemen" programs. NPC Sororities have never allowed alcohol in the house and were already installing alcohol and liability awareness proggrams when I was an undergraduate in the early '80s.</p>
<p>It sounds to me that the right decision was made. When underaged drinking is accepted and encouraged by the coach, it's time to move on.</p>
<p>I share the OP's concern of sports and alcohol (and I'll add drugs for good measure) I don't know if some team sports are more alcohol inclined than others. Aren't there just as many issues with crew and baseball? My sons have played football, lacrosse, rugby, and ultimate frisbee. One interesting aspect of Ultimate is that it is self-refereed. If the OPs son is still interested in finding a sport, Ultimate may be a good option.</p>
<p>to me- a few flags about the club team's coach</p>
<p>1- couldn't get practice field- may or may not be a sign of bad coaching, but possible issue</p>
<p>2- not sure what sport, but if coach really cared about training, he would have sent players off on a run or something...to get into some shape</p>
<p>3- instead of saying, hey, go bowling or something to bond, he sent them off to party, </p>
<p>so, as a coach, not such a great one</p>
<p>citygirlsmom, I think you're not grokking the Rugby ethic. Not getting the field (or any other concession) is par for Rugby clubs -- the admins would prefer they go away and never return. Sending players off for a run probably isn't going to work if they can't have a field. Sending them out to party together is Rugby protocol. Keep in mind, this "coach" is probably a volunteer, not an employee of the college.</p>
<p>Sounds to me like your son knows himself, knows what his likes and dislikes are, knows what he stands for, and will not stand for less....I say, congratulations, for a job well done! I am nearly 50 years old...and it has taken me many years to learn this lesson...wish I had known myself that well when I was his age.</p>
<p>all i can say is,</p>
<p>GIVE BLOOD, PLAY RUGBY!</p>
<p>Rugby players eat their dead</p>
<p>I feel bad for your son, in that he felt compelled to quit participating in something he was looking forward to because of the action of others. Of course rugby has a reputation that the festivities following the match are as important as the match itself and it is not uncommon for both teams to "party" at the local pub. However it is not uncommon at all for non-drinkers to participate in the post-match celebration as well. Just make certain you have your own ride home!!!!!</p>
<p>my H plays soccer has for 45 years, with Irish guys, tough guys, with volunteer coaches, paid coaches, player coaches, different teams- college, national, club, semi pro</p>
<p>so I think I get the rugby ethic jsut a bit, but somehow they managaged to pull together practices, and unless there was lightening, they trained, if was raining, they ran, if the fields were closed, they ran....H came home all stinky sweaty, and yes, the went to the pubs, after, but they took playng well seriouslly enough to want to be in shape....</p>
<p>i think disappointed the OP's son was that he maybe expected more...not such a bad thing</p>
<p>ps- I live in a city with a HUGE rugby scene, somehow, they train....gee</p>
<p>citygirlsmom, maybe my take on this is out of date. I'm responding to how it was way back when.</p>
<p>Our college soccer team was coached by a paid pro with recruited athletes (some from England), and never suffered for lack of anything (uniforms, trainer, facilities). No doubt they had drinking parties, but I never heard much about it.</p>
<p>Our Rugby club, on the other hand, had a volunteer coach, no trainer, little access to facilities, and got booted off the field if any "legitimate" team wanted it. It was clear the administration wanted ruggers gone, and perhaps for good reason: injuries, drunkenness on and off the field, sexual harassment of bystanders, etc. Some of the players were from the city (it was/is a club, not a college team), so admins had no disciplinary clout with those. Swim and soccer coaches tried with varying degrees of success to prohibit their athletes from playing Rugby, ostensibly to prevent injuries but the coaches' attitude seemed contemptuous.</p>
<p>I know this one example doesn't prove anything, and I've pretty much lost touch with current conditions (I know a few current players and one coach of a successful and well-regarded club) but the OP's post brought back old memories of small, dark, stinking basement rooms with six inches of beer on the floor and guys singing about their girl's pubic hair. It's not that her son couldn't turn down a drink, it's that he didn't enjoy the venue.</p>
<p>celloguy, well said. THANK YOU! Now let it go people....</p>
<p>ebeeeee~</p>
<p>I also applaud your son--and YOU for supporting his wise choice.</p>
<p>I was a diver for many years. Even in the age group programs in the 70's alcohol/drug use was rampant. I was like your son. I wanted to do the sport, but I did not want to party. The social environment was strained.</p>
<p>When I went to college in the fall of 1977, I attended a school whose diving coach had been the Olympic diving coach the year before. I had turned down diving scholarship offers (I was an All American in h.s.) in favor of an academic one at this particular school and an opportunity to walk onto the team with such an amazing coach.</p>
<p>The entire team, both swimming and diving, was comprised of nonstop partiers. I have NO idea how these people even FUNCTIONED. For the first semester, I tried to hang out with the team and be sociable, but it became virtually impossible. I came home after each gathering reeking of pot, though I'd never smoked a joint in my life.</p>
<p>That winter break, we went on a training trip to Colombia. The coaches, who were normally pretty complicit with the partiers, warned everyone STERNLY about using drugs while in Colombia (Anyone ever seen "Midnight Express" about that guy in Turkey??) But, you can't put a damper on some partiers, and a group was subsequently arrested for trying to buy drugs in a little bar in Cali. Word has it that the coaches did some rather extravagant bribing and finally got the kids released. Despite all of that, on the night before we left, we visited a small bar where most of the group, including one of the coaches, proceeded to get completely SMASHED.</p>
<p>I quit diving at the beginning of the second semester. And it was a sport i'd participated in for over 10 years. To me, it just wasn't worth it anymore.</p>
<p>~berurah</p>