“Your LAC literally had thirty sinks and shower stalls lined up in each bathroom? I doubt it.”
- I didn’t go to an LAC.
- I said one that serviced 30 people. Not one that had 30 sinks, stalls, showers.
“Plus, those that wanted more privacy (both men and women) would strategically time their usage.”
One cannot always strategically time one’s usage.
The huge difference in co-ed bathrooms out there from shared common bathrooms to those at my youngest son’s dorm where they are 100% individual bathrooms is why I made my suggestion to check each school’s situation out individually. They differ considerably.
Anyone wanting supreme privacy is going to be far happier with my son’s co-ed bathroom than in any typical group bathroom like my other two boys have/had even though the latter were single gender. If those had been made co-ed, I can understand many folks feeling uncomfortable.
I can also completely understand someone not wanting co-ed rooms. I have to admit I really fail to understand not wanting co-ed dorms, but perhaps that’s because it’s the only situation I’ve ever dealt with at home and in college and it worked out fine. It’s not like students walk naked to the bathrooms or hang out in the hall that way.
I think the negative attitudes on this thread may be based on the concern that by not permitting the student to live in a co-ed dorm, the OP is drastically limiting the student’s choice of colleges.
OP only has one post; I’m guessing they went fishing and didn’t find what they were looking for.
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I tried to provide a few possible choices but op hasn’t returned yet.
It’s possible OP worries that boys will try to “sneak a peek” when girls shower or behave like drunk frat bros in co-ed bathrooms. In my experience co-ed wings tend to develop a “family” atmosphere with brother/sister protectiveness and standards, whereas single sex dorms for boys reinforce some stereotypes about male slovenliness and noise, but to each their own. Lots of colleges have single-sex wings in dorms, or single-sex freshman dorms.
@crossfitmom - I’m sorry if you think we are being judgmental. She posted a question and she is getting answers to that question. I think many people, including myself, have stated emphatically that she has a right to her views and if she feels that strongly about it, then that is the direction she should look in. However, we are bringing up the fact that she did not mention what her child wanted - scratch that, her 18 year old young adult. If she too wants the same sex dorm/bathroom experience, then that is what she has a right to. If its a deal breaker, then find those schools, and they do exist, that are very strict in this area. Not sure of the name of the school but there is one school where a sexual assault victim was ultimately charged with violating the school’s policy on relations on campus - now talk about something keeping a woman from reporting rape - but I digress.
I do college counseling and I am the biggest proponent of finding the right “fit”. My nerdy kid would have been lost at a big university with a thriving Greek life, party atmosphere and focus on athletics - no matter what school it was. Also, because of her high school, she never would have felt comfortable at a school with a lot of rules. But neither would I, hence my choice of her high school in the first place.
As the parent, you definitely have a say in where your child attends, especially if you are paying. But I think most on here are just saying that this one thing may give you a false sense of security. I was much more nervous about the drinking culture since my child does not drink and it took her awhile to find like minded friends to hang with on a Friday night so she spent quite a few in the beginning in her room alone.
Sorry for the long post, but I am responding not only to the OP, but to those who think that those of us giving advice are somehow negating her concerns. I would never tell anyone how to raise their child for I have never given a rat’s hoot about how people think about me raising mine. I think we all wish her luck during this tumultuous senior year.
I agree with those that said the reaction comes from the wording of the title, not the content of the question. It implies a moral stance on the part of the parent, one which potentially severely limits the students’ college choices, more than a reflection of a student’s issues.
That being said, I think we all do that sometimes–be a little more strident than we mean to me to stake a position, so I hope the OP is reading to get the many good suggestions on this thread.
I hope kids leave their phones out of the bathrooms, for the mixed gender ones with less than ideal privacy.
^^You’d have to surgically remove the phones from my daughters’ hands 8-|
The OP also out a smiley in the subject line, which might suggest this is not a terribly serious matter.
Several people did suggest schools. If the OP really wants suggestions, more information about search parameters would be helpful–big school, small school, region, etc.
As far as phones, if the concern is photos, I would hope that people in all bathrooms would refrain from inappropriate pics. And really, if an inappropriate picture was taken, would it matter if a girl or a guy took it?
I don’t think the concerns necessarily have to be safety. It could just be privacy. How many of you work in large office buildings with facilities that serve many people? How come they don’t combine the men’s and women’s if it’s so inconsequential? How come no new stadiums, airports, train stations, etc are built with coed bathrooms? Because there would be an outcry.
And why would that be? Because it’s actually harmful or because that’s not what we’re used to?
I’m not being judgmental at all…but it would be helpful if the OP gave a reason for their concern…or lack of concern…about coed dorms, etc.
Because it’s not what we are used to, of course. I’ve certainly not said that it’s harmful or dangerous or that the guys would be peeping Toms or anything.
So, how many of you belong to health clubs/gyms with coed locker rooms?
Well, in co-ed bathrooms, you don’t chance in front of people and showers aren’t common (actually I don’t know if that’s common in gyms nowadays either). In a dorm bathroom, you walk in in your robe, or fully clothed. There are little stalls. You step in, lock, and shower.
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My gym has separate locker rooms…but with what folks wear to work out, I’m not sure it matters 
And my gym has doors on the stalls to the showers and toilets. Honestly, I wouldn’t care who was in the next stall over.
In 1970, my college allowed the opposite sex into the bathrooms during visiting hours. It was no big deal.
But if it is a criteria for the OP, there are options the OP can explore on most college,campuses.
To the OP…just remember, your kiddo will likely need to put a first, second and third choice on their housing application. So, you will need a college where all of the choices fulfil your criteria.
My son is a freshman and his floor is co-ed by wing, with each wing having one restroom for 8 kids. While the wing is single-sex, the restrooms are gender netural. I have no problem with it at all and neither does he. However, in the specific set up, I’m a little icked by the flimsiness of the shower curtains. There are three shower stalls across from the sinks, with the stalls behind. There are no changing areas, and it’s a small stall with a relatively sheer white curtain. You have to walk between sinks and showers to get to the stalls. I guess the logistics bother me because there aren’t any benches or shelves to place dry clothing and towels and even in a single-sex situation, I don’t think the shower curtains provide any real privacy. I guess I’m saying that gender aside, the set-up in that bathroom isn’t as efficient or comfortable as it could be.
Mine all went for suite style dorms and weren’t keen on the community baths and really not keen on co-ed baths. I would not want to have to leave my sleeping area in a college and wander down the hall in the middle of the night to use the toilet either let alone have it be a co-ed bathroom…I lived with all women by choice all four years of college either in a suitestyle as freshman or a house the remaining years back in the day. I think the OPS kiddo can find what they want although S2 did eliminate one of his safety unis from the list because they did not have suite style at all. I was surprised that for him it was a dealbreaker.
Not entirely sure what you are looking for, but many schools have coed dorms, but they are coed by floor or by wing. The bathrooms are single-sex. My son’s had a small guest restroom, but the dorm bath with showers was single-sex. That was the case in my own dorm years ago. The building had wings and was coed by wing.
Some schools, as noted, still have single-sex dorms.