Cold Feet

<p>My child was admitted to an amazing college that offers her almost everything she thought she wanted plus a good scholarship as well. The problem is that when we went for the admitted students visit, she was not sure it was the right place. And she does not know why either. She now feels uncertain about everything scared that she made the wrong choice. Is this "buyers remorse" "cold feet" completely normal, or should she back away from this amazing college?</p>

<p>It’s normal. I’ve seen it every single time (though not in my kids) at every single college orientation, drop off. Let your DD know that this is not an irreversible decision she made, but that she needs to give it a go, give a good try, and if it does not work out, then she needs go through the proper channels for transferring out of the school. My close friends daughter has been in this mode all year at her chosen college, but surprise to all, did not choose to fill out transfer papers. She was truly scared and, yes, there were some things that were not as expected that were true disappointments, and she would immediately go into that mode when thinking about them. But in the end, she decided to stay put for another year. It did not make for an easy year for the parents, particularly my friend, I’m afraid, as their first DD did not go through this.</p>

<p>Some kids do transfer. Look at the return stats from freshman year for your DD’s school. That gives you some idea how prevalent transfer is during and after that first year.</p>

<p>Thank you… The return stats are great … 96% stay on so kids tend to be happy there.</p>

<p>Tb, bear in mind that things will happen over the year, and the years, when it will be absolutely the school, the students, the environment that is causing your D misery and she wants to leave. That too, is normal. Even at schools with great return and graduation stats. It’s a rough stretch of time for young adults and they will tend to take it out on the parents when things go wrong, and they will go wrong.</p>