Colgate Supplement essay

Applying to College
1

<p>I was hoping to apply to Colgate for early decision and I know that I have little time left So I was hoping you guys can give me a commnt on my supplement essay. The question says"Please tell us about yourself, how you plan to share your perspective with the Colgate Community, and what you hope to learn from other members of the community."</p>

<p>My response is </p>

<p>The quest to find ones self is very daunting. Nonetheless everyone finds himself. Eventually. I am Mr X. One word to describe me would be “a man of principles.” That is actually three words but the point is I my life revolves around those principles that I have set for myself. There is no certain limit that I want to achieve in my life but I want to bring some kind of change to this world. I wish to leave this world slightly better than it had been. I would say a peculiar thing about me is that I usually hold my own view or perspective on everything, no matter how trivial it be. Everything and I mean EVERYTHING I perceive, I will try and evaluate and posses an opinion on that matter.</p>

<p>My perspectives are the sum totals of my experiences and knowledge. Thus, I want to exchange my views with others. And I believe that Colgate provides the most suited environment for this by encouraging learning not only from the teachers but also among the students themselves. Particularly, i hope to exploit the ALANA cultural center in order to fully express my cultural views to those interested.</p>

<p>Furthermore I expect to learn a myriad of things from the community at colgate. If I am accepted i Should hopefully be there for about 4 years. In this time I hope to be open minded and try and find lessons from every situation I encounter. Also by participating at the various activities that the University has brought such as the volunteer work, the internship activities and the culture oriented programs. </p>

<p>I know it is bad so if you can suggest specific additions or removals to this essay I would really appreciate it.</p>

2

<p>Other than your reference to ALANA this essay tells very little about what might set you apart from other applicants. Just about everything else could be said about any applicant.</p>

<p>Give the reader some specifics. You tell us you’re a man of principles, but tell us how you have shown that to be true in the past and how you expect it to impact your time at Colgate? You are interested in the ALANA cultural center. Why? Do you bring a unique perspective to campus? If so, what is it? Are you a member of a particular minority or ethnic group? What do you hope to get out of a Colgate education that you couldn’t get out of spending 4 years at any other institution of higher education? Every one of Colgate’s peer schools has engaged faculty and students, internship programs and opportunities for volunteer work, so why did you choose Colgate over the others?</p>

<p>If you’re having trouble answering this question try an exercise. Make a few short bullet-point lists. Who I am. What I have to offer. What sets Colgate apart. What I want to learn. Use those to jump start the essay writing process.</p>

<p>An example might be:
Red state farmboy
First generation
Strong opinions</p>

<p>Conservative perspective
Political experience</p>

<p>ALANA cultural center
Strong poli-sci department (don’t know if this is true of Colgate but it’s a hypothetical list)
XYZ internship program</p>

<p>Widening my horizons
Specific knowledge to challenge or bolster my strong opinions</p>

<p>I would also simplify the language. Don’t worry about sounding smart. Instead strive for clarity in your writing.</p>

3

<p>Is it okay to go over the 250 word count seeing as we can upload a document?</p>