<p>Hi everyone, DD is headed to college across country. Hubby and I are trying to "guesstimate" how many days she will need us to be there. We figured flying in on a Tues. Gives all day Wed. & Thurs. and most of Friday to shop for dorm essentials. She has orientation on Friday for 3 hours. We thought of leaving Saturday afternoon. She thinks we should stay the whole weekend. We could stay the whole weekend but we figure at some point it's time to "let the birdie fly" (tears in <em>eyes</em>) She is going to a very spirited school so we know there will be a whirlwind of things to do for freshman. (I mean, I'm hoping) Feeling she is a little scarred us to leave. Your experiences, recommendations and thoughts I sincerely appreciate:)</p>
<p>Has the school posted any parent events for move in day? Usually they plan something and also list when parents should leave. Is there anything else in the area to do? You could plan to stay an extra day or two with the intention of doing some sightseeing and if your DD needed something before you leave you could drop it off or take her to dinner one last time. </p>
<p>Good luck!</p>
<p>If she starts class on Monday I recommend giving her the weekend on her own to settle in. That is when the kids in the dorms will be exploring campus and town together, getting acquainted, etc. If you are there she’ll miss out on some of those “bonding” opportunities.</p>
<p>Warning, you might get there, get her moved in, shop, and be done in 2 days. Then you are waiting to fly back. She may move in, want to hang out with roommate or suitemates, get acclimated. And suddenly you are not needed. And you feel a little awkward.</p>
<p>If there are family or parent events, great. If it is in a town/city that has a lot to offer, to problem. If you go to a small college town without places to visit otherwise, be careful. She may want you to stay, but get there and then want to not miss out on the dorm/freshman bonding experience.</p>
<p>If you drive, you have flexibility. If you fly, not so much. And these days, rescheduling to an earlier flight can be expensive.</p>
<p>I also am going away to college across the country, but we are doing the ~15 hour drive. My parents will be leaving about 3 hours after move in starts. We are “ripping off the band-aid” so to speak!</p>
<p>vamom, I will check to see about parents day, don’t believe there is one…1moremom, that is what I thought she will want to be bonding with kids that weekend. Mentally, however, she can not see that far into the future :/<br>
sunnyflorida, that is my thought, Ok, she is moved (Friday at 4:00pm) now what? I don’t want to be just hanging around. It is a huge college town however…what I am afraid of is if we stay longer, and she is off and running with all the freshman…however, perfectly understandable…</p>
<p>I think your wed/thurs/fri plan is already generous. I think one day to shop and move in is plenty. Then it’s twiddle thumb time.</p>
<p>The last thing DS wanted to do was hang out with us. He had his new roommate, with whom he’d communicated a lot during summer, and dormmates to meet etc. Who wants to hang with parents while everyone else is socializing? It was all we could do to get him to go eat dinner with us after the move in. They did have parent program for us for 2 days which we attended but seriously, if we’d planned 2 days total there, it would have been more than enough.</p>
<p>Besides which, I was kinda weepy and it really would have been easier just to leave town rather than meet him, eat, watch him go off to the dorm, cry (me, not him)… repeat.</p>
<p>D moves across country also and here’s our move in day plan:</p>
<p>Red eye flight Thu night, gets there Fri morning. Check in hotel, rest, make plan to get together with a newly discovered H’s cousin living 10 minutes from college. Great time to re-establish family connection so we can “Ugh… you mind being the local emergency contact for my daughter?”</p>
<p>Sat shopping for bedding & things that we plan to pick up locally instead of lugging onto planes. Leisure family dinner - the last good meal she’ll get till Thanksgiving!</p>
<p>Sunday move-in, plan to be there early to beat the madding crowd. Last minute shopping if any, then fly home after lunch. We’ll even miss the parent talk that evening since we figure all they’ll tell us is to turn around and go home!</p>
<p>My D has been in touch with her future dept friends and roommate via Facebook. As soon as she meets them in person, she’ll drop us like a hot potato anyway so no need for us to mope around.</p>
<p>We moved our DS cross-country last year: flew in on Friday; shopped Friday and Saturday. Moved him in Saturday afternoon and said goodbye. DH and I stayed until Sunday (fun city, lots to do) but didn’t see him again. He was ready for us to go, and I didn’t want to say good-bye more than once!</p>
<p>A few days is plenty. Let her acclimate with new friends over the weekend. </p>
<p>If time and funds permit, you could do a fun side trip after that. It would give her a last opportunity if she needs you… but I’m betting she won’t need you.</p>
<p>S had move in day orientation on a Thursday. He and I flew in on Tuesday and arrived at our hotel that night, shopped and explored on Wednesday (this was plenty of time), did things at school Thursday and said our goodbyes, then I flew home on Friday. There was nothing for the parents after the move in day and they encouraged us to leave. It was hard, but I was glad I didn’t stay longer.</p>
<p>DD went across country to college and I went with her on the trip which also include orientation for her (and parents too). The orientation was on Thursday and Friday.</p>
<p>We flew out to CA on a Wednesday arriving in the afternoon. Moved her into the dorm and went to Target, Staples and BBB to get the “stuff” we didn’t schlep with us. We both spent Wednesday night in the hotel.</p>
<p>She then checked into the dorm, and we both went to orientation. After orientation on Friday, I went to a neighboring town where coincidentally a friend lived. I spent Friday and Saturday nights at her house which was fun. Sunday morning I met DD at her campus just to say goodbye…and I flew home.</p>
<p>I only took this long because it’s a LONG and expensive plane trip and I wanted to make the most out of it. BUT I only spent two days with DD (not counting the travel day).</p>
<p>We moved D1 halfway across the country to begin college at a top LAC. The college wanted parents completely gone by 5 pm on move-in day, and they were quite strict about it. They posted a schedule in advance, clearly designating the time for parents to leave, and the last event at which parents were welcome was a late-afternoon reception with the college president, deans, and faculty. At the end of that reception we were politely but firmly told it was time for us to leave campus. They were very clear that they needed to get on with student orientation activities, that our students needed time on their own to get to know roommates and hallmates, settle in, and begin their college lives, and that lingering parents were counterproductive to that process. I think they got it right. A clean break is better for all concerned.</p>
<p>Stay Wednesday and Thursday, then get the heck out. Leave before orientation starts.</p>
<p>Three days is generous. If it’s a part of the country that you haven’t visited or haven’t visited lately, why not plan on a couple days with the drop-off and then some vacation time. You’ll be close enough in an “emergency” but give her some space to get going on her own. For our two we never needed more than one day on any drop off and skipped parent orientation when they were freshman, stayed the night and then “took off” on our own day 2 morning. Every family is different…we’ve seen plenty of weeping moms in the hotels in the morning on day 2 so do what you feel right about…</p>
<p>I think many kids make their best college friends that very first weekend (I know I did). The last thing she needs (even if she thinks she does) is you guys hanging around campus after move in. Leave before dinner on move in day, and don’t go back. Seriously.</p>
<p>I’m having a hard time figuring out why it should be much more than one day. On the back end the school with have activities planned for you child after they check in and the schools I know about (a limited number for sure) have stuff that first day for families and that is about it … and I do not think you want to be hanging around after the school has planned on you leaving. On the front end there is no need to get there extra early other than if travel gets you the night before … being on campus before all the other students could be counter productive.</p>
<p>Most colleges have an orientation schedule. My son’s says,
</p>
<p>We’re planning to drive our son up to his college on a Thursday (full day drive), spend the night there, move him in on Friday and then head off on our own mini vacation after the orientation stuff ends. For you, I would guess you need an extra day for shopping.</p>
<p>I spent 4 days 3 nights when my first child went to college. I did not do anything related to his move-in. And he did not need me either. I just attended events for parents organized by the college.</p>
<p>This year I decided not to go with my second child for the move-in because the school does not have big and fun events for parents. I save for the parent weekend. I will help my child order dorm supply from Amazon and ship directly to her dorm. This will save her from going to the local stores and carrying back clunky things on the bus and to the dorm.</p>
<p>I just googled and found these things on Amazon:</p>
<p>[Kitchen</a> and Home Back-to-School Essentials](<a href=“http://www.amazon.com/gp/feature.html/ref=amb_link_356563242_3?ie=UTF8&plgroup=1&docId=1000693841&pf_rd_m=ATVPDKIKX0DER&pf_rd_s=hero-quick-promo&pf_rd_r=08P57FPPGCFPW2C99VJD&pf_rd_t=201&pf_rd_p=1302731062&pf_rd_i=B0014E448U]Kitchen”>http://www.amazon.com/gp/feature.html/ref=amb_link_356563242_3?ie=UTF8&plgroup=1&docId=1000693841&pf_rd_m=ATVPDKIKX0DER&pf_rd_s=hero-quick-promo&pf_rd_r=08P57FPPGCFPW2C99VJD&pf_rd_t=201&pf_rd_p=1302731062&pf_rd_i=B0014E448U)</p>