Newsflash: This is U.S. soil. What is difficult to understand about that, and thus to have as the reference point your paragraph One?
I don’t understand why there is a disconnect between culture back home and culture in the U.S. What is difficult to understand that these are not equivalent? What would you think of me if I expected Asian, European, African, and Latin American opportunities to be the same as those in the U.S.?
It’s my business when the students come to me for college admissions help and are being irrationally pressured by their parents to apply way above their academic profiles and interest. Yes, it’s my business. I watch these students melt down all the time. Close to nervous breakdowns in my office.
Any other questions?
“Why others care how much pressure some family puts on their kids? It is none of their business,” Some of us are concerned because it is a form of child abuse. Are you not concerned about kids being pushed to utter exhaustion (some of them say they don’t sleep at all, or sleep only a few hours per night), depression, suicide, etc. because excessive pressure is being placed on them by adults?
Additionally, people who live in certain areas may be concerned about this being or becoming the prevalent culture and negatively influencing their kids. I wouldn’t want my kids in a school with that kind of culture.
It starts to bother me when at high schools near me the prom isn’t a big deal anymore, students don’t go to the Friday night football games and kids don’t even socialize that much. The AP craze and test preparation mania are doing great damage to public education. It is really sad. In some districts near me the fights at PTA meetings with Asian parents can get pretty hot.
I suspect that the lack of interest in "traditional fun in high school is at least partly due to the current 24/7 online culture. Much of the social interactions happen on the Internet - for boys gaming and for girls social network sites.
What are the Asian parents fighting about in PTA meetings?
And it bothers me when only an aggressively vocal and activist segment of a group succeeds in changing policies and practices for an entire school or district because such a segment claims to represent the wishes of the entire group. Thus, when a public high school assumes that “all parents there” or “all Asian parents there” will demand X, just because the most aggressive of them do, such an erroneous assumption affects the entire school negatively. It then ends up that the school itself is contributing to the felt pressure and enlarging that pressure by assuming all parents want unmonitored, indiscriminate AP enrollment for their children, etc. Not all Asian parents are so demanding and unrealistic. Some do understand that their children are not as competitive or capable, do not want them artificially sped up or overloaded.
+1 epiphany
@panpacific Oh lots of things like why their kids didn’t get into the STEM magnet schools (we have four in one small county that are nationally ranked in the top 25), not enough math homework, why so much history and social sciences, not enough testing, not enough attention to elite students, etc. I recall a proposal by a group of families to have a separate guidance department for some students because of course they were so much better they deserved it.
It has been a real buzzkill for the schools.
^^ That’s interesting. Never had the pleasure of witnessing that. Are Asian parents (students for that matter) the majority in your school?
LOL:
Yeah, I want citizens who are ignorant of history.
^^ That is just so FOB. You would never see that happen at TJHSST. My experience at TJHSST is polar opposite of what you describe above. The Friday night football games are very well attended, the homecoming game is huge, and all the events (prom, All Night Grad Party) are attended by most students.
Not in my town. My boys, one just graduated, are at an all boys Catholic school that is now 20% Asian, mostly Indian or mixed Indian students, some Chinese. I suspect that since many are from interracial families the intensity is a bit less. Also, in Catholic schools you don’t get to tell the priests or brothers how to run a school.
Asian students are not a majority anywhere in this area but its a loud minority. The negative vibe has even damaged real estate values in a few towns because of the tension. Much of this is overblown but some parents simply don’t like the ways some schools have changed. It has been decades, many decades since there was large scale immigration in this area, so its a process.
I get a sense it’s getting better but not fast enough.
@NoVADad99
@BatesParent2019 may be talking about a different school than TJ.
^^I understand. My point is that not all high ranked high schools with high Asian student populations are like that.
http://www.cnn.com/2015/07/02/opinions/yang-genius-girl/index.html
I never know how much I can quote from an article, but it includes the reality that several students (friends of TJ graduates) who did not get into TJHSST, nevertheless did just as well and better, college/work wise than their friends from TJ.
It also includes examples of pressure from similar high schools.
What does FOB mean?
Fresh off boat
There are some intense parents at TJ, but the culture is not so intense ask to be a detriment to social life or athletics. DS earned 6 varsity letters and is playing one of his sports in college. He went to dances, prom, homecoming, beach week, etc. and right now he is out for the evening with his old friends from high school.
P.S. I am Asian, and an immigrant to boot. Came over on a plane, though, and not a boat. And back in my day FOB was an insult although I understand it is not considered so by the younger generation (see, e.g., the hit ABC show by that name).
But you said not in your town. How do you know this?
What is your source that the real estate values have been damaged in a FEW towns because of the tension. You are bordering on racist remark saying the population of Asian students have reduced real estate values. Perhaps old timers don’t like newcomers ?
Please don’t refer to anyone as FOB. To call a group of people FOB, loud, having a negative vibe, and being the cause of damaging real estate values is insulting a community. These are degrading comments. Can we have a respectful conversation without being condescending. Each parents approach to raising kids may be different but all of us are just trying to do best for our children. We all want them to be successful and not have to go through hardships.