Hi all-my daughter is a rising senior, preparing to apply to colleges in the next couple months. HS has been largely a miserable experience; by 10th grade, she had both a GIEP and IEP in place, though we had to fight for the latter. Her giftedness and anxiety (often manifested as feeling physically ill) overshadowed the ADD (limited executive functioning, little sense of time, distractibility, hypersensitivity to sound and light) until this past year. The typical reaction from teachers and administration to her struggles was that she was over-reacting or just not trying–if she’s so smart, why couldn’t she complete the homework?
9th grade was a low point-she was so ill she could not finish the year. Participating in dance and drama saved her (plus therapy and anxiety meds, but she is extremely stubborn and is just beginning to accept help with executive functioning strategies. She does not take ADD meds.)
She is interested in art, design, math, neuroscience, dance. She is applying to smaller schools: Skidmore, Mt. Holyoke, RIT, Lawrence University (we are trying to keep to schools on the Tuition Exchange list but are willing to make exceptions for a good fit.) For reference, she scored a 35 on the ACT the first time (extra time accommodation), and her GPA is a B/B+, but wide-ranging: several A+s, a couple C+s.
QUESTIONS:
Does anyone have personal experience with how responsive any of these schools are to students with this set of needs? (I will contact student services.)
Are there specific schools/programs not on this list you would recommend, given her interests and attributes? (Prefer East Coast or Midwest.)
Does anyone have experience with a family member or friend with a similar profile having taken a gap year and how that influenced his/her future college trajectory?
Thanks for any input you might offer or stories you might share! It has been a long, long road…
A friend of a friend has a son at St. Joseph’s U in Philadelphia, he is gifted and ADD. They chose the school because of the support it would provide and he has done well there. Good luck!
RIT has a good reputation in support for those who need a bit extra. i do not know how the other schools will be in that regard. Skidmore and MtHolyoke, can be a bit difficult socially, IMO.
I’ve known many parents, some good friends of mine, who have had college students with challenges outside the norm. A number of them did not permit their children to leave home for those years. They commuted to local colleges. In some cases it was likely essential and possibly life saving. Those who did go away to school, including one of mine, had problems severe enough to drop out, that might have been addressed better had they stayed home. They needed some more time than the usual college kid. I think a greater number of these kids had problems away from home than the usual.
Small schools may have possibility of more personal attention. Larger universities may have more academic, offerings and dining options, health center services.
If she likes RIT it might be worth looking into Northeastern. They have an LDP program, which might be helpful. Also, if it is not a fit, they may know of other schools that have similar programs. https://www.northeastern.edu/ldp/
Regarding the celiac disease…as you get closer in your college search, you may want to contact the schools’ food services departments directly. I think that general dining information on web sites or in brochures often don’t paint a detailed enough picture when it comes to specific dietary restrictions. At my D’s school dining options looked so great on paper, with some sort of gluten free certification, but the reality in the dining hall was that the options were pretty limited.
Happy to see she’s considering Lawrence! My son is a senior there this year and he was diagnosed with ASD, ADHD (inattentive type), & anxiety disorder at age 12. He had started high school at a prestigious local magnet but had a meltdown in the middle of 10th grade at which point he left to homeschool and take classes at the local community college. Lawrence was very generous with financial aid, and although he did have a hiccup when he first came to Lawrence (the typical freshman wake up call—realizing you cant pass if you don’t attend class)—he has since recovered without delaying his graduation and even made the Deans List last year. He hasn’t actually requested accommodations at LU and until this year he had not felt he needed any medication. They have an office of Student Success that will support students in times of crisis.
One thing I would recommend for your daughter if she chooses Lawrence is to participate in their FAI experience that precedes the start of the fall term. The friends he made in that cohort remain at the center of his friend group to this day. Idk if your daughter struggles socially but the planned activities with a super small group were really valuable to my son. He ended up spending 3 months traveling across Japan working on organic farms the following summer with a friend he made in FAI. I would not have believed he’d feel comfortable doing that when he first started at Lawrence. So as far as I’m concerned, he has grown and gained so much from being there. Let me know if you have any questions I can answer about LU!
Celiac is one area where it really sucks extra that you can’t get visits in. Every school my daughter contacted said that they could take good care of her needs and she could eat safely, but in reality most could not. Only two of the schools we visited did she feel she could eat safely and not eat the same thing every day all year.
Your daughter sounds a lot like me (similar academic profile; I was in gifted education; I have celiac, autism/executive function problems, anxiety and other mental health problems, physical disabilities). I go to Reed College which 1. isn’t on the Tuition Exchange and 2. I wouldn’t tout as having good accommodations by any stretch (although I like it for other reasons), but I have other recommendations to make. 1. I really, truly wish I had taken a gap year, not only as a disabled student but also to gain maturity (I ended up half getting incredibly sick and having to get a medical leave/half flunking out after my first semester anyway) and 2. There now exist accessible college dorms that have their own kitchen. Try hard to get her one or find a way that she can live off campus. The gluten free food at my dining hall (managed by Bon Appetit Management Company) is uncontaminated about 95% of the time, but sometimes you need 100% certainty.
Your daughter has a very similar profile to mine (Anxiety, ADHD, Executive Functioning Disorder, gifted, theatre kid … etc). She needed an environment in which she would be academically challenged but with strong mental health and academic support available.
Lawrence University was high on her list and seemed like a good fit, but we never did get to visit before decisions, due to COVID. By that time though, she had already decided on the College of Wooster, which, so far, continues to seem like a perfect match for her. The students there are quirky, accepting, and passionate about their studies and activities. There is a strong performing arts scene. She had a long zoom call this summer with an employee from the academic accommodations office who helped her figure out what accommodations she would be eligible for. She has taken advantage of drop-in mental health counseling and the APEX center for academic support. She is thriving there. My daughter is lactose intolerant and eats a dairy free diet. I realize this is a much less serious situation than Celiac, but she feels as if she has plenty of food options.
You might also consider looking at Trine University and Valparaiso. I don’t know much about them but do know several gifted/LD kids who have done well at those schools.
Hi @Scg123–my daughter decided on RIT, after visiting in October of last year. She leaves in a week. We have had several Zooms with the accommodations and dining people, and so far I get the sense that they want to help her adjust and succeed. She has been working virtually with a therapist who focuses specifically on executive functioning and will be continuing this relationship while in college. We (and the contact in the accommodations office) have suggested the minimum course load that qualifies as full time. Of course, Covid has thrown a new wrinkle into everything…we are looking into tuition insurance in case things don’t work out, but she seems to be in a good place and is enthusiastic about starting. I am not on CC much but will try to respond if I get notifications!
You may find she does better in college. There’s less busy work. I have a son with a similar profile and that was his experience.
That said, there were growing pains. He slept through his first quiz, which was alarming. But he told me then " I never want to feel the way I did when I woke up and saw the clock" and that’s never happened again.