<p>My name is ally and I have been with my boyfriend for almost a year now. We started dating when we were both in high school. I'm the type of girl who loves to do adventurous things and explore while hes the type to sit at home, relax and just "chill". During high school we mostly just spent time at each others houses, watching movies, going out to dinner, etc. Now I'm going to college and i feel everything is going down the drain. I started making a lot of guy friends in college and this really made him jealous. I totally understand why he would be and of course i would be too if he made a bunch of friends that are girls. I feel so bad about it because i really like hanging out with my new friends because they are fun and really outgoing, but every time i do i feel so guilty about it! I don't want to be a bad girlfriend, but the worst part of it is that i think i have a crush on one of my new guy friends..! I'm really stressing out because i am a very loyal person and i love my boyfriend but I'm not sure if I'm IN love with him. I feel like the fire of our relationship is slowly fading and he notices it too. I REALLY want to be with him but i cant help feel like this is going sour. We never do anything and our relationship is so boring! Maybe this is a phase many girls go through when they enter college. and i hope that it is because i know he is better than all my new friends and i WOULD rather be with him, its just that i have this other side of me that wants to be free and see what else is out there also...
can anyone relate?</p>
<p>Very common situation, your parents may have already warned you this would happen. People who are growing, often grow away from each other in these situations. Particularly, if you find you have different goals, interests, and desires. You are probably in the majority of those who start college with a prior "other". Also, if you are in college and he is still home, the tendency to grow apart is even greater, as your experiences will make you different people. Good luck, just go with it.</p>
<p>Time to break up.</p>
<p>A lot of people, unfortunately, go through that same sort of phase. It honestly ****es me off because I've seen a lot of good guys/girls get pulled through the ringer because of it (including myself).</p>
<p>Freshman year of college is where high-school relationships go to die. It's a huge transition, and most relationships simply aren't strong or mature enough to endure the changes. With so many new experiences flooding your daily routine, it can be difficult to keep a previous relationship fun and exciting. The truth of the matter is that spending time around new people in close proximity makes it hard to continue to be attached to those who you aren't in close proximity with. You'll notice that most students in college talk a lot less with those from high school as a result.</p>
<p>It's clear that you want to go out and do things. There are people there at college that can fulfill this need for you. However, since your relationship is suffering as of late, you'd ideally like for him to help you re-spark the relationship to keep things afloat. It can be hard to make things work when things are tough, and especially when there seems to be an easy/more attractive option. </p>
<p>I think you need to make it clear to your boyfriend that you feel things are becoming a bit stale, and that if he wants this relationship to work out, he's going to need to help you spice things up. Otherwise, the disconnect and lack of proximity is going to kill everything off. Whatever you do, however, do not resort to cheating (just as an aside, here). </p>
<p>In all honesty, though, girlfriends and boyfriends come and go. I can only count on one hand the number of high school relationships that have made it through all four years of college (that I'm aware of). Things just become too difficult to maintain... especially if you two aren't the same year/going to the same college. <em>Odds are you guys will find the relationship too difficult to maintain</em> unless you two communicate -- very clearly -- what your needs are and what you two want from the relationship. If you guys think you can fulfill each other, then by all means, keep it up! But if not, it may be time to re-evaluate things.</p>
<p>Best of luck!</p>
<p>I'd never have a girlfriend in college, at least not the first year. It seems as iff 99% of girls with boyfriends are cheating on them. There is no way I would trust anything a girl says, so it's pretty easy to see where your boyfriend is coming from.</p>
<p>Yeah, a lot of people end up breaking up with their hs sweethearts in college whether due to distance or due to different interests. It's not your fault..or uncommon. Break up if you think it's the right thing to do.. Just a warning: many of your guy friends may be waiting for you to break up with your bf so they might have a shot with you... That happened to my roommate.</p>
<p>
[quote]
i cant help feel like this is going sour. We never do anything and our relationship is so boring!
[/quote]
A lot of HS relationships end by Thanksgiving, few make it thru Xmas. And why should you have made a lifetime decision when you were 16 or 17? Maybe this was the best guy around and available in HS, but now you're out of that pond. What you write says it all; its hard to be objective about ourselves, but I bet if this was written by someone else you'd advise them to break it off.</p>
<p>And its clear why your BF is so jealous; you're off seeing what else is out there and you're discovering you may like it better!! He doesn't want you out doing new things and making new friends because then your eyes might open that there's a whole wide world out there in which you can be adventurous, a world where you can find a guy who wants to share the thrill of adventure with you instead of hanging around the house and "chilling". In other words -- find a guy who's more right for you. Maybe its not one of your new friends, but when you go off and start being true to yourself and your interests you will find him! Guaranteed.</p>
<p>Its also pretty clear that he's never going to break it off; he's found what he wants. He's got a girl to "sit at home, relax and just chill". He's managed to dominate you and get you do do what he wants; just look at your quote I excerpted above. And he's terrified he won't find another one. Hence the jealousy, the snide comments about your friends, the steady phone calls basically to check up on what you're doing. Ask yourself why it was that you ended up living his life, instead of him adopting yours. Hmmm.</p>
<p>So my advice is for you to step up to the plate. It's your life and you face a choice; spend the next few years (or maybe even the rest of your life) giving up on your dreams and living his life, not yours. Years that you'll never get back, opportunities that will never come again. Or tell him it's over. That you'll always value what you had together in HS, but that you realize you're different people who want/enjoy different things. That you hope you can be friends, if he needs some time away you understand, but that your dating is over and you're not going to change your mind.</p>
<p>and so it begins.....</p>
<p>Is it the separation or the greater pool? What is the success rate for HS relationships if both end up making it to the same school? (Yes, even for higher-ranked schools!)</p>
<p>Going through same thing with Gf....sucks. Decided on a short break.</p>
<p>99 problems...</p>
<p>look at me:</p>
<p>i met my bf on facebook my senior year of hs...he was from Delaware i from NY we were both graduating hs and going to the same college(made the decision b4 meeting)...i love him we met just in time for prom I went to a real prom(im from a small school he from a large one)...</p>
<p>yahdeyahdeyah</p>
<p>Im here with him now and hes driving me nuts...I came here to have a life not have someone changing my life </p>
<p>I have a bf but im constantly flirting and since he ****es me off i go off and tell him my new conquests and flirts</p>