Please don’t encourage her to call you with basic questions-that benefits you, not her. She can figure it out, ask another adult student, etc, etc. Encouraging overdependence is what caused your concerns to begin with.
What do you mean when you say you “know the truth”? Assuming you are serious, are you thinking that your Princeton-accepted daughter is incompetent? Why do you think so little of her?
Also, what does the distance have to do with it? If she went to Washington University, closer to your home, how would that make it any easier for her to do her laundry or wake up in the morning?
What would be your ideal scenario? That she live in your home the rest of her life so that you can wake her up and do her laundry?
Ask yourself this: What is the WORST thing that can happen? What is your WORST fear? That she will make a mistake?
Your concerns are the same whether she is 1000 or 10 miles from home.
Time to force her to do her own laundry et al since you have not yet done this. If she doesn’t do it, it doesn’t get done. Of course you will need to be there to instruct and supervise at first. This will take more of your time but worth it. Remember all of those life tasks you needed to help her with as a toddler? Same principle. Do not wait until summer when she has a free schedule. Part of college is learning how to get things done when faced with the school schedule. She wants an item to wear Saturday evening- she learns to get it clean before she needs it. Part of time management skills.
My experience with our son. Began with sorting/folding his clean clothes in his laundry basket. Progressed to not taking it to his room. Then just dumping all into said basket. I think the endpoint was his coming downstairs to find clean clothes in his basket. His dresser drawers went empty as he chose not to put things away as well. In college same thing but he did laundry- even usually when he came home. He was (is?) sloppy. So were his roommates. Their problem, not mine.
Hopefully your D is not at that end of the spectrum. Teaching her the tricks of laundry is to be done starting this weekend. Folding devices- yikes. Never on my radar.
Getting up for classes on her own. I worried about my son who did not hear the extra loud alarm we heard from down the hall. He had no problems in college- was motivated (and I’m sure starting at a later hour helped).
Distance. She will be a world away whether it is across town or the country.
You raised a D who is smart enough to go to an elite college and independent enough to want to leave home. Just like with the kindergartner it is MOM who has the most difficulty. You figure out how to cope with not being in charge while goes away and is oblivious to home life.
Any kid who’s going to Princeton should be able to learn how to do her own laundry in about ten minutes.
Yes you have time to practice. With remaining school year, put her in charge of getting up and getting breakfast. Have her do her own laundry (or family laundry). At next doctor’s visit be sure to let her take lead and talk to doctor, let her call nurse to ask questions and to pick up own prescriptions.
Get her use to checking emails - how lots of school business communicates with students.
My D is in grad school far away and wasn’t extremely travel savvy. I started with flights and shuttles to campus. Gradually, depending on time of day and amount of luggage, she started taking trains and buses and Uber to get around. Now very competent traveler.
Spend the money to get Pre-check that allows her to skip regular security line. Has been great for my D and well worth it to not have to take off shoes, take stuff out of bag, etc.
I would never let my kids pay for laundry personally.
I am sure if she is smart enough to be accepted to Princeton she is smart enough to master these simple every day items.
I have 5 kids and my youngest one does all her own laundry, has a part time job, schedules her own doctor, dentist and ortho appointments, manages that schedule, volunteers at the local ambulance and yes gets herself up in the morning for school and work on weekends. She just turned 17 and she is not Princeton material either.
I’m sending my daughter a 20 hour plane ride away.
Start giving her autonomy and responsibility NOW, TODAY.
You will be surprised how resourceful kids can be when given the opportunity.
Hold yourself back from “helping” and let her do things.
Let her figure out transportation options.
Let her take care of her clothes.
This will be harder on you than on her, I guarantee it.
Best of luck.
I think of university as sort of like a half way house between living at home with parents, and living on your own in the world.
“Who will do her laundry? Who will wake her up in the morning?”
I had similar concerns with my youngest, who went off to university this past September. She is not just a plane ride away, but in a slightly foreign country (she is in Canada, we live in the US). She is going just fine. Her grades are great, she loves school, has made friends, and when we see her she is wearing clothes that have been washed. She got her own flu shot this year without us even asking.
I did send her off with a good alarm clock that is easy to adjust.
“This will be harder on you than on her, I guarantee it.”
Yup. Our kids need to learn to live on their own because we will not be around forever. They can and do figure it out.
I was very nervous about sending my freshman daughter so far away, and I still am because she wasn’t very happy first semester. One of my main worries was the travel part because each time she returns to school, it involves a flight, a shuttle, a two hour train ride and an uber. So, far she has done this a number of times and things have gone smoothly and she has gained confidence. It’s definitely hard to let go and you will certainly get calls when advice is needed or she wants to complain. However, if you teach her some things now and also talk to her as if you are confident she can handle everything (even if you’re not), I’m sure she will rise to the challenges ahead. I hope she has a wonderful experience. Hang in there!
If she’s smart enough to go to Princeton, she’s smart enough to figure out laundry, whether she does it herself or finds someone else to do it. My kids started doing their when they were 11 and we got a new washer/dryer. My daughter considered starting a business doing it for other kids in college.
Even if she were at a college just down the street, wouldn’t she still have to know how to do those things? Unless you want her bringing all her dirty laundry home for you to wash…
I’m sorry, but I have a real problem with parents who infantilize their college-age children. Think about what you are doing. You are conveying to her that she is incapable of simple grown-up responsibilities. Worry about a child not being able to do laundry or get up in the morning is relevant to a 8-year-old, not a Princeton University student,
Which is probably I would advocate not having a kid go to school so close to home. I had no qualms about sending my son to school from California to St. Louis (it was his choice). He figured out how to navigate MetroLink and the best options to get to Lambert from campus. Plus doing his own laundry, waking up on time to go to class, and figuring out that midterms are at night and not in your usual classroom.
Kids will figure things out pretty quickly so no there is really no need to be overly protective.
@brantly I kind of get it. I have a kid who’s super super smart too. Apparently, they can have a lot of book smarts but very little common sense. I was very scared of sending him out into the world because of it too. He was a little like a babe in the woods, if you will - very immature. But eventually, they all learn. Baby steps. 
MODERATOR’S NOTE: OP has admitted to lying about her identity.