Don’t over generalize! I was a working parent always. And I always did my share for school parties. But there was no way I would have made sandwiches that looked like snowmen. Why would that be necessary when regular sandwiches cut into quarters was fine.
Also, I always sent paper goods with my contributions.
I dealt with stay at home parents who never could contribute anything at all.
YMMV as they say.
Wow Hoggirl - I read this aloud to my D16, and she said “mom, why don’t you know other moms like this?”. Two thumbs up for you from her. it sounds awesome, I just don’t know that many parents where I live who would do this.
@thumper1 Didn’t mean to sound over-generalizing or targeting - it was some working and some not that did amazing things for other people’s kids and the other way around. Just surprising that some of the most snobby and righteous did the least, but they also missed a large part of their kids lives by not investing in that community - either with time or other contributions they could have made. Their loss. And back to OP, I think getting anything thoughtful in the mail is a wonderful surprise at any age for anyone. Kudos to those that take the time to do that.
I would have joined a group. Still, I randomly pick up things that are personal to son, like a Harry Potter mug in Hebrew, a favorite Japanese candy, or a Star Wars momento.
A fond memory of mine is that when son was in a Jewish day school, my FA would substitute for his bio-father. After the first event, my dad told the school authorities to put all the kids without a father at his table. During 9 years, that table was full, and the kids got attention.
@carlson2 - wow! High praise! Many thanks!
Honestly, the group care packages are not that difficult! Just requires someone wiling to take the initiative. And be a bit bossy. Which I am. :D. Truly, the three group care packages are easier than when I do the other six on my own for ds!
“Then there were the mom’s that sent in a big bottle of apple juice and box of graham crackers in a Safeway bag (with no cups). Never understood rich people being so cheap and selfish. You would think the people that were working and making money would send in stuff at least as nice if they had to buy it, but they gave it zero though”
Maybe they got rich by not doing stupid things like spending money on name-brand juice when it’s all the same and any distinction is lost on first graders.
I also note that it’s the moms who come in for censure. I guess when a request comes in to send juice, it automatically is the province of the person with the uterus. My husband certainly never had to worry that the mommies at school didn’t “approve” of his parenting or felt that he didn’t spend “enough” time volunteering.
“Just surprising that some of the most snobby and righteous did the least, but they also missed a large part of their kids lives by not investing in that community - either with time or other contributions they could have made.”
You were peeking into their homes? Anyway, I freely admit that I didn’t “invest in my community.” I didn’t have free time. So be it. Too bad if the mommy crew didn’t approve.
I’m probably not going to send typical care packages – I already told my D I’d send her a choice of monthly subscription boxes – either a healthy snack subscription, a beauty box, or a Japanese snacks box. She gets to choose.
There are many ways to invest in your community, @pizzagirl. I feel sure that @scotlandcalling would acknowledge the free time you spend making contributions to CC as such. I’m sure we all know people who qualify as takers more than givers, and that seems to be Scot’s point. No need to make this a war between working/sah moms.
It was the sheep not the pig. 
:))
So funny, @doschicos! I made the corrections above. ;
(Originally, my post 48 cited @Hoggirl rather than @scotlandcalling. Apologies to both.)
I send snacks from Iherb.com: bags of macadamia nuts and almonds, almond butter, gourmet chocolate bars, Kind bars. They have free shipping for orders over $40, so for the same price as a school-sponsored care package ($35-50) I can get better quality and a greater quantity of treats from Iherb.
Thank you, eastgrad, but I don’t delude myself that posting on CC is “contributing to my community”!!
In regard to post #39 about juice with no cups. I always just assumed there was a breakdown in communication between the parent and the hired help.
On the other hand, "bring fruit,’ turned into lovely Edible Arrangement Bouquets for grade school age students.
If the request was send juice, I sent juice. If they wanted cups, they should’ve asked for cups. The way things worked in our school, it was safe to assume someone else had been asked to do so because that was how the room mothers typically parsed it out.
I personally thought (and still do) that the Martha Stewart inspired parties thrown for first graders who were perfectly fine with juice and cookies were a little over the top.
“In regard to post #39 about juice with no cups. I always just assumed there was a breakdown in communication between the parent and the hired help.”
You really mean the mother and the hired help. Just come out and say it. You’re not really dogging the busy male corporate lawyer or male neurosurgeon for not being involved in the choice of juice to send in, or not caring sufficiently about the first-grade party.
And gettingschooled is right. If they want you to send cups, they should request cups. But that would require organizational skills.
And if you dig Martha Stewart crafts? More power to you. But they are for you the adult, not because first-graders care.
MODERATOR’S NOTE: The thread has gone way off-topic. Please get back on track.
OK:
I’ll get back on track. I send/have sent care packages to all my children. I find that UPS ground is the fastest /most cost-effective and reliable all around. For example ( for new parents )- approx 10 x 12 x 5 inch box filled with favorite candy and snack items before mid-terms or finals is about $12 from mid-atlantic to mid-west. To me, that’s not expensive.
At times, I’ve included decorations from the dollar store based on the next holiday - window clings for Halloween, garland to decorate the dorm room door for Christmas, etc. packets of MW popcorn, hot chocolate.Gloves in the school colors if a snow storm is predicted (worn by everyone on the floor). Always sent a favorite for roommates - dried fruit, nuts or whatever.
Include an envelope with some cash.
On a positive note, we’re a professional couple but always found time to volunteer in some capacity throughout our children’s schooling, got to know their friends, SAHM / SAHD, working parents all - and were lucky to have all that be mostly nurturing and helpful. It’s also great to have known our children’s college friends and friends from HS who visit on the Holidays. So proud to see the fine young men and women they’ve become.
My kid, who hates clutter and is a picky eater, has asked me not to send any care packages. That has not deterred my plans to send a few, howevet I will have to be creative.