The chuckle for the day
The unprecedented deal will allow College Confidential (CC) to remake the subreddit as they see fit, including shifting all content onto CC servers, restructuring leadership positions and removing “Sh*tpost Wednesdays”.
The deal was worked out by CC’s so-called “Super Moderators” and A2C’s reddit moderators. An intense ten minutes of negotiations over Zoom culminated in A2C approving the transfer in exchange for $62.62, and a promise that A2C mods won’t have to respond to the same ten questions about college ever again (“LOOK ON THE WIKI”).
The new site, dubbed College-Confidential (the added hyphen decreases word count and is highly appealing to students) promises eager Tiger Moms a 40% chance of getting into at least 1 Ivy, as agreed upon between CC’s admissions calculator and A2C’s expert mathematicians. The new framework also gets rid of Reddit’s frustrating “comment-thread” structure. Instead, aspiring sweats will get the pleasure of scrolling through 589 irrelevant comments to locate a single piece of useful advice.
Perhaps most influential is the decision to remove A2C’s beloved tradition, “Sh*tpost Wednesdays”, effective immediately.
“The super-moderators and low-class normal moderators had a lovely discussion, and we came to the conclusion that this weekly occurrence was harming students in the long run,” Super-moderator EliteMom said.
"We found that students were not only sacrificing studiousness for unfettered chaos, but also making grossly inappropriate jokes that are certainly a violation of our TOS (Ball State? Really?).
As a result, we’ve done away with the event. Fortunately, CC has always hosted safe spaces for students and parents alike to spew nonsense to each other 24/7; rather than “Sh*tpost Wednesdays”, though, we call them the “Chance Me Forum” and “Parent Cafe”.
Overall, the transfer has been praised by moderators and moderators alike; a recent survey of 5 CC moderators showed unanimous approval.
“As incredible as this deal is, I don’t want to take all the credit for it,” EliteMom said. “I must acknowledge the absolutely phenomenal work put in by my DSSPD23 (that’s dear-special-s’wow’tastic-perfect- daughter, for those not in the CC know-how). She’s a rising junior at Stanford, and received acceptances from other prestigious colleges such as MIT, Harvard, UPrsehgal, and Yale. I could just go on and on about her accomplishments… as a gift to the community, other moms looking at this are free to reach out to me forsome advice on college applications! By the way, she wasn’t involved in the deal… it’s just that it’s been a hot minute since I’ve mentioned her!”
Despite the overwhelming support, a few radical students have voiced their criticisms of the sudden transfer on the new CC site:
“This Post was Flagged by the community and is temporarily hidden. You may not view ignored content.”
Our reporters attempted to reach out to the other Super Moderators of CC for response on this criticism, but the site unfortunately crashed for the fifth time that week.
Could have been funnier, though.